What the hell am I going to do?

[intotalshock]

Hi have name changed for obvious reasons.
I've just done a pregnancy test and is positive.
I can't believe this is happening.
I've got 3 dc's already between 3 and 7.
I've just got my career back on track.
Dh and I were careful I thought.
I just can't believe it and can't find a positive way to think about it yet which is horrible.

You are going to have to talk to your DH.

Careful in what way?

Yes, have you told your dh?

Do you know what you want to do in your heart of hearts?

I've told dh. He is surprisingly fine and being very nice.
We were careful as in using condoms and ironically just last week I went to the doctor to go on the pill again.
I am so shocked.

I am not being rude but how can you fail with a condom? I am intrigued as have used them for about 10 years and no unexpected pregnancy.

Your dh has no reason not to be nice. You have done nothing wrong and this is both of you together. (Unless of course he didn't put it on in time.)

I hope you get it figured out

Fab
A condom still offers only 98% protection. A small risk, but that's 2 pregnancies in every 100. It says so on the packet...

OP hope things are ok

Talk to your DH.

Talk through everything. Consider as many possibilities as you can think of.

Take your time to come to a decision that you both feel is right and best for you all as a family.

A very close friend of mind had a similar situation recently. She said it was only because she was 100% open and honest with her DH that she feels happy with their decision.

Hope you work things out.

xx

Thanks for that moonstorm. I can't say I ever read the packet.

Actually, condoms are 97% effective if you use them perfectly every time.

Typical usage makes condoms only 86% effective www.youngwomenshealth.org/malecontraceptives1.html

FabIsGoingToGetFit, I got pregnant using a condom and then a morning after pill. It's entirely possible.

I got pregnant using a condom (I thought it didn't happen!) I had no idea, but after I had a pos test, DH said "I knew something wasn't right with that condom..." We had been talking about vasectomy's but I am now 12 weeks and very happy, dying to tell my twins on Wednesday! Good Luck x

You're in shock and its hard to think clearly when you are in shock. Once the news has settled in you will be able to think more clearly.

Best of luck whatever you decide and be gentle on yourself.

The same thing happened to me - careful, using condoms, DH booked in for a vasectomy.

I confess that I was completely screwed up about having another child - I didn't want another because I now have 4 children under 6 - and I found 3 under 5 hard enough;but being Catholic, termination wasn't an option for me. I went to the GP to be referred for counselling, which I had - and I think that saved my sanity. My unplanned number 4 is now 8 weeks old and all my fears about rejecting him/not bonding/not loving him etc are completely unfounded. It made the pregnancy difficult - but being honest with DH, and he with me, helped me to welcome the baby when he arrived, rather than resenting him.

Whatever you decide, give yourself time to come to terms with the reality, keep talking to your DH and then I am sure you will make a decision that you are happy with. FWIW, having evened up the numbers has made life 'easier' in one sense and the older three adore the baby.