Any tips on keeping it a secret from people?

[Munchkinvix]

I'm 7 weeks - found out two weeks ago, and over the moon

BF and I want to keep is secret as much as possible until we know everything's OK and past 12 weeks.

I am finding that I am avoiding my friends and going out, as there will be inevitable questions about why I'm not drinking. Have completely gone off booze anyway!

Anyone got any good hints/excuses? Am happy to hibernate if necessary, but am off to work at Glastonbury Festival in a couple of weeks time, and I'm convinced all my friends are going to guess. But then is this such a terrible thing?

I just said I was driving or on antibiotics. Some might guess, but as long as no-one pressures you to tell them if you don't want to I wouldn't worry.

Congrats!

I'd just say I was on strong antibiotics and that you'd had a drink and we're really sick or something like that!

Congratulations to you both.

My excuse was antibiotics.... Had 3 friends birthdays during the first 2 months and told everybody I was on antibiotics and so couldnt drink... It washed the first two times but the third people started asking questions!! Otherwise I just ordered my own drinks or sipped from a wine glass (DH would gulp a bit down when nobody was looking!). Most of my friends knew by 10 weeks as I had previously been a party animal, my boobs went from a D to an F and my hair grew an inch in a month... They all respected that I didn't want to make a fuss until 12 weeks and waited until then to offer congrats etc. Friends are usually pretty respectfu;l of wishes if you make them known. In the mean time I hope your deception goes better than mine did!!! x

Congratulations!

IME they will all guess whatever you say (if they know you well, you normally drink etc). Most won't say anything.

Best to choose a story, stick to it and then let them all have their fun telling you how they already knew .

I don't really understand this business of keeping it quiet. Yes, it's true, quite often I suspect but just keep my mouth shout when I think someone is pregnant.

Having had MCs and difficult pregnancies, I feel as though this secret thing has been invented to make our own lives miserable! I know it's not, just how I feel. At the end of the day, close family, friends and colleagues, are going to find out if a)you finally have a baby or b)end up with bad MC which I did and had to have long sick leave for operation etc. So much for secrets! Also, with DS, throwing up constantly in the bathroom whilst keeping it a secret was just a complete nightmare. I wish I had undestanding female colleagues who at least knew and could talk to me about it (they are lovely btw), instead I had to suffer in silence until the doctor finally signed me off with HG and fainted a few times at around the 3rd month, so everyone found out anyway.

Thanks so much for all your congratulations and advice. It's certainly going to be an interesting festival!

munchkinvix, do you think you might benefit from telling at least one really good friend? You'll find that the next five weeks go so s-l-o-w-l-y and you might want to talk about how you feel with someone other than your partner. Also, if you did have a miscarriage or discovered something wrong at your scan, would it help you to have a friend you could let go to? I can't think of anything sadder than having to go through miscarriage and keep a brave face on the whole time.

You could say you've had a tooth out and they've given you some really strong antibiotics - there's one the dentist prescribes for such things and it's the same as AntAbuse they give to recovering alcoholics, (so I've been told) and it makes you violently sick. I was given it once and was really scared to go anywhere near alcohol - I wasn't pregnant at the time. I find if you go into quite elaborate detail and ramble on a bit, people tend to glaze over and stop listening so you might get away with it (or maybe that just happens to me...)

I understand your worries, though it might be nice for you to be able to confide in someone, a trusted friend as Reshape suggests.

Thanks Reshape and Lulu.

We've told our parents, and I am absolutely bursting to tell people, although BF is erring on the safe side and wants to wait a little longer.

However, I have managed to persuade him that we should let our best friends know. Gonna tell them this weekend! Really excited!

Thanks for the antibiotic advice - I have actually been to the dentist recently for some fairly major work so can hopefully pull that one off.

If you would tell them if you had a miscarriage, there's less reason not to tell them now anyway.

I let most people work it out from 30 plus weeks pg...if I could I'd keep it quiet until the birth as I'd prefer to know the baby is okay when he is born and I can see him for myself.

Am 37 weeks pg now and alot of people still don't know about the pregnancy (friends who don't live locally!). I think it's nice to just announce it when the baby arrives.