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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Sex of Baby - Find out or not???

25 replies

clpsmum · 08/06/2010 19:00

Got 22 week scan on monday and just cant decide whether to find out the sex of the baby or not and would welcome any advice.

This is baby number 3 for us and definitely the last baby. We have two beautiful boys and knew that they were both going to be boys before they arrived.

This will be our last chance to have a surprise and know what it feels like to go through whole of the pregnancy without knowing the sex of the baby. The thing is my DH is absolutely desperate to know but thinks he will end up blabbing to me by accident (which i agree he prob will) if he finds out and i don't. So we have decided we either both find out or both dont.

Neither of us are remotely bothered about the sex of the baby and would be equally delighted with a boy or a girl, so what do you think we should do???

Sorry for being so pathetic and indecisive!!!

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DomesticG0ddess · 08/06/2010 19:04

I think seeing as you are the one having to carry him/her and push him/her out, you should have the final say, so why not have a "surprise" this time (although to me it is a surprise to find out at 20 weeks, and I like knowing 'who' is in there, iykwim - have just found out I am having a second boy yesterday!).

notnowbernard · 08/06/2010 19:15

Suprise!

Also pg with DC3 and don't know the sex

Have 2 DDS and hand-on-heart have NO preference

Love the moment of finding out...

LittleB · 08/06/2010 19:15

I wanted to find out with dd at the 20wk scan but they couldn't see as she had her legs together, it was fun to have a surprise though. But when she was born I was so relieved to have a little baby in my arms I didn't even think about what sex she was until the midwife asked me and I had a look! I think we'll try and find out this time though-mainly for dd (5) who is desperate to know if its a boy or girl, she's got a while to wait though as i'm only 11+2.

SacharissaCripslock · 08/06/2010 19:18

Surprise!

I knew with my first two but DS3 was a surprise and it was much nicer not knowing. Not that it wasn't nice to find out with my first two but there was just something special about finding out only once DS3 was born.

cece · 08/06/2010 19:19

100% surprise.

Never known with any of mine and that is the way I like it. I even don't like it when other people tell me what they are having prior to the birth!

NinthWave · 08/06/2010 19:24

Go on, have a surprise

I had a surprise with DS as I'd had two MCs previously, and just wanted a baby at the end of it - wasn't bothered about the sex at all. One of my only clear memories of his birth (had lots of drugs!) is my DH crying as he told me it was a little boy

I'm 22 weeks pregnant with DC2 and we found out the sex, purely so we could prepare DS as much as possible as he's a bit about the whole thing (he's nearly 3).

BornToFolk · 08/06/2010 19:24

Have a surprise! Especially as you are not bothered either way.

The only bit of DS's birth that was exactly as I'd imagined it was when the doctor held DS up and DP said "It's a boy!" It was a really lovely moment.

rubyslippers · 08/06/2010 19:25

Go for the surprise

I have not found out with either of mine and it is a brill moment when you find out at the birth IMO

ronx · 08/06/2010 19:27

I vote for surprise.

Neither of you should find out - it's too much of a burder for the one 'in the know'.

What difference does it make whether you have a boy or a girl - you can't get a refund .

Sarahlou8 · 08/06/2010 19:30

I've just had my 20 week scan, I wanted to know, DH didn't, this is my third, I knew with both the others, and we ended up not finding out this time...and I came out grinning like a cheshire cat!! Unchartered territory now - and I'm the most impatient person I know, the type who hunts down Christmas pressies weeks before Christmas!!

Good luck x

ItalyLovingMummy · 08/06/2010 19:30

Definitely go with the surprise, its worth the wait!

Sarahlou8 · 08/06/2010 19:32

Oh and I forgot to add, my sonographer says the midwives love it when they deliver and the parents don't know, it adds to their excitement as more and more people do find out!

Antidote · 08/06/2010 19:44

I vote surprise.

We had our scan 2 weeks ago & the lovely sonographer was amazed that we didn't want to know and made a special effort not to accidentally show us! Apparently 'everyone' she scans wants to know, we were the odd ones out.

Now all we need to do is think of a boy's name.....

onadietcokebreak · 08/06/2010 19:47

I vote for a surprise too....but am dying for my best mate to find out!

smokeybacon · 08/06/2010 19:51

Definately surprise. I am always disappointed (sort of ) when friends find out as I love the anticipation of boy or girl. I'm pg with twins and won't be finding out (till they arrive of course - I think we'll find out then) even though we have two DSs.

LOL at "you can't get a refund".

DuelingFanjo · 08/06/2010 19:52

I vote for surprise too

GwennieF · 08/06/2010 20:00

Go for a surprise!

Haven't found out with either of mine as that's the only thing that DH can know/see/experience before me WRT the whole pregnancy thing.

Meglet · 08/06/2010 20:01

surprise. But check out any friends who might have a bag of hand me down girls clothes in case you get a girl.

I didn't find out with my first DC, which was DS. But I did find out with our second, which was DD. Just as exciting finding out actually, and we knew her name and due date as it was a planned cs. Still amazing when she arrived though .

Bumperlicious · 08/06/2010 20:06

Having done both I would definitely say don't find out. It was such an anti climax. And knowing that I was having another girl, I went through a bit of a mourning process for not having a son, even though before the scan I never thought I had a preference, I didn't expect to feel sad, and then felt really guilty about feeling sad. It's all a bit much when pg and hormonal!

Mummy1868 · 08/06/2010 20:16

I am in the same position as you only I have 2 DD's.
My DH really wants to know, as does MIL who is coming with us.

I mentioned that I was wavering and she said 'oh dear, I don't think I can be sure of keeping my mouth shut'!!

I did say that as I was doing all the work and that everyone else could sod off and they would have to wait too!

Besides it is my call who knows not theres.

I will be finding out the sex as I have decided it will be easier to plan things and just as nice to know in 2 weeks time as in 22 weeks.

Besides, names are going to be tricky as I have none in mind what so ever.

I have a sneaky desire for the legs to be crossed though, no coffee for me in the 45 mins pre scan!

moominmarvellous · 08/06/2010 20:16

I had my scan with DC2 today and was really tempted to find out this time! However, it's only a matter of saying no once they ask if you want to know, and then they just talk about different things.

I just told myself it's only a matter of getting through that 20 mins or so, and then you're back to how you are before the scan - just wondering!

nymphadora · 08/06/2010 20:17

Surprise!

I didn't find out with either of mine & am not this time. I know when they will be born so I need at least one surprise.

I am fed up with people assuming I will find out though.

NinthWave · 08/06/2010 20:18

Plus, if you don't find out, people won't nag you so much to tell them if you've thought of a name yet.

megonthemoon · 08/06/2010 20:26

But to everyone saying wait for a surprise, by definition it's always a surprise whenever you find out as you didn't know beforehand - it's just whether you choose to have that surprise at 20 weeks or 40 weeks! So finding out at the scan doesn't ruin the surprise in any way, you just get it earlier!

I am pro finding out. It's still a surprise, but you get it in the middle of pregnancy when there isn't much else going on and still a long way to go! There are plenty of surprises at birth - how much he or she weighs, whether the baby looks like you or DP, has blue eyes or brown, has hair or doesn't, is tall or small, chubby or skinny. I think it's fun to get a little pre-surprise earlier on

undercovamutha · 08/06/2010 20:35

I waited to find out for both of my DCs and I'm so glad I did. It really was a surprise (I had guessed wrong both times!), but an amazing moment(s) for both DH and me. If you've already found out in advance twice before, why not go for a different option this time.

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