6 weeks pregnant and needed encouragement

[Ell01]

Hi
Just found out I was 6 weeks pregnant and I am terrified! It was totally unplanned and I really not sure I'm ready for this. We plan to keep the baby but I am scared about what Im going to have to give up. Just started my career, just moved in with my boyfriend and starting a family was something we thought was years away. Looking for some encouragmemnt....how easy do mums out there find it is to advance careers etc, and what if I resent this baby....that would be horrible!

I'm totally new to this myself but just wanted to give you some words of encouragement as you seem understandably overwhelmed!
It must be scary especially as it was unplanned but I'm sure it'll all work out well. You've got lots of months ahead of you to get your head around things and also to make an impression in your workplace anyway. There are lots of mums who manage to both be fabulous mums and also to have a great career and fab general life too.
Just make sure you keep talking to people and don't let yourself bottle up any feelings of panic- it really does help to talk them through with someone who can give you their logical opinion on things!
Take care!

I was in exactly the same position as you 3 and a bit years ago, we've since got married and I'm pregnant again, I've kept my career going, it's been hard work but very much worth it, we both totally adore our dd and she brings so much joy.
I did really struggle at the start, but try and surround yourself with lots of helpful supportive people (but not ones that insist you do things their way!)
Do you have a steady job that you can take maternity leave from and go back to? that would make things a lot simpler - I work in a freelance/short term contract sort of profession which complicated things.
Also I'm assuming you're quite young? I had dd on my 26th birthday, I will have had 2 children by the time I'm 30, I'll still be easily young enough to then focus completely on my career and have plenty of time to build it up.
Many people I know who were older and had more - big mortgage, nice lifestyle have struggled a lot more with the changes a baby brings.

Thank you guys Its really good to know I'm not the only one struggling with all this. V good to hear how you both doing with your new wee ones too
Yea, I am 25 now so wasn't really thinking of kids at all yet....but obviusoly life had other plans!
Cheers and take care xx

Give it a few weeks and you'll start to feel like this is the most important thing in the world. All else will take a back seat. You'll be able to get back to your career etc soon enough (althouggh you may decide you want to do something different).Having children changes you mostly ina good way.

It all depends how much you want your career - you'll be able to do both if you want to.
I wanted to, but now can't be bothered, cos my attitude is now that there are far more improtant things in life

I'm in same boat, sort of. We got married last June and thought we'd wait a year before starting a family, then I got pregnant at the end of November, about 7 months ahead of schedule. It doesn't sound like much but I'm just finishing a PhD and I'd really hoped to have gotten a job before we started having kids because as it stands at the minute I'll be out of work in January and at home full time with the baby seeing as the job market is so bad at the min!

All I can say is we argued and sniped at each other about money and how we were going to work everything out throughout first trimester and I did feel somewhat downcast. I'm 29 weeks now though and getting that bit closer has made us both that much more positive and optimistic and looking forward to the whole experience. From what I've heard it's normal to have doubts and reservations esp at the beginning but once you've decided to have the baby and you start thinking about all the practicalities involved, your emotions will catch up and you'll feel a lot more reassured and positive about the whole thing.

Congrats and good luck!!

Oooo, what is the phd in? I have been thinking a lot about trying to do a phd recently and maybe it is something that can be done with a wee kid.

It has been so useful hearing from you all, and although I am still very freaked out I do feel it is gradually starting to sink in (Gradually!). Its just so hard to imagine!

LittleMissSnowShine....Congrats to you too, and good luck. Hope the finishing up of phd goes well too.

All the best

Ell01 - Mine is an arts PhD, depictions of body and gender in contemporary Irish fiction. Because there's no lab work and most of the research just involves newspapers, journal articles and reading a lot of novels, I can work from home a lot of the time when I need to so I'd say yes, it would be possible to do an arts/humanities PhD even with a wee one, if you're able to be flexible and squeeze in a few hours of reading when they are asleep or your DP is around to help out and take them off your hands.

Most of the PhD funding deadlines are January/February kind of time so you probably still have 7 months to have the baby, write a proposal, apply for funding and speak to the people who would be supervising you and explain your circumstances and see how flexible the working conditions would be in your research field. If it's something that interests you, definitely go ahead a pursue it - it's definitely possible to balance developing your career with having a baby if you take a sensible and flexible attitude towards it and don't try and over extend yourself.

Good luck with everything, glad it's all starting to sink in for you!!