21 weeks with twins, feeling really low - how can I perk up?

[MamaChris]

I'm 21 weeks with DCDA twins, everything looking ok on the scans, but this week I'm having a real wobble. My SPD is fairly bad, I'm knackered all the time, my weight has fallen over the last couple of weeks but I just don't feel hungry. And now I've been researching my birth plan, and struggling to find facts like what the rate of intervention actually is in twin births?

I'm not normally given to worrying quite this much, but if I don't stop losing weight, get some more energy from somewhere and get my head out of this dark place about the scary bits of twin births and how on earth we will cope as a family with twins and a toddler...

It seems I have so far still to go, and no idea how I'm going to get there. Is it normal to feel this low in the second trimester (which every book says is the best bit)? And did anyone else get this low and manage to perk back up - how?

Oh I feel your pain, I really do. I had boy / girl twins 8 weeks ago and I suffered terrible SPD at your stage of pregnancy.

I went to my consultant and cried and pleaded for something to be done and got to see an obstetric physio right there and then. At that point I could hardly walk but 4/5 sessions later I was almost back to normal. I bought a sacroiliac belt which kept my posture right and really helped too. You really must do something about the SPD or you will end up with crutches/wheelchair/morphine etc which is the route our local GP seems to send sufferers down.

When the SPD was being dealt with I felt and enormous lift in my mood and felt much more positive about the pregnancy and birth. I had a previous C-Section but always insisted on a vaginal birth and as long as you are confident and firm in your wishes you will be taken seriously. If not, then change your consultant. In labour I was even encouraged into the pool which went against all the hospital guidelines but as I had always mentioned how much it would help to support the massive bump they knew the request was coming and knew I was aware of the risks and when I had to get out etc.

Even at 10cm dilated when it was clear that twin 2 was blocking twin 1 with his shoulder and the consultant was waving C Section consent forms at me I stood firm (and cried a bit ) and demanded someone try some forceps or something. This was promptly done and half an hour or so later I had 2 healthy babies.

I guess my point is that you must address the pain issues first, then hopefully you will start eating well and you can start thinking positively about the birth and be sure with your choices. That way things are more likely to fall into place.

It is bloody hard work with twins and a toddler, we get 4 / 5 hours sleep a night and I currently have mastitis but after already having one I know that this dreadful time will pass and hopefully in a few months they will all just play together while I read magazines on the sofa

There is light at the end of the tunnel, and when the twins are both sleeping peacefully or when they smile at you it is all so worth it.

MamaChris, i just saw your thread about managed 3rd stage of labour and it reminded me about my request to my consultant for a natural 3rd stage which she got rather cross about - she said 'Look I am willing to support your choices for delivery of the babies but why the hell do you care so much about the delivery of your placenta, please be sensible'. I really felt aggrieved about this and we had to compromise on me having vein access put in and waiting a little bit to see what happened after twin 2 was born before drugs were considered.

Anyway, as I had a forceps delivery with spinal anaesthetic I was automatically given the drugs and thank god I was because I lost 1.5 litres of blood. I was given tonnes of the stuff as the bleeding wouldn't stop. The fused placentas were enormous and when i saw them i was about having demanded something so risky. My Hb levels were 7.5 for a couple of weeks after the birth and I felt so weak.

Just my point of view obviously, but I think with twins a natural 3rd stage is a risk not worth taking.

Thanks PeasPlease. You are an inspiration! Congratulations on your babies, and wishing you pain free feeding and lots more sleep very soon

I am already having physio for the SPD and it is better than a few weeks ago, but just horrible not to be able to sleep when in pain, you know?

Very impressed at your birth I am trying to get hold of the consultant midwife to put my proposals to her, but apparently she doesn't want to "waste her time" meeting me till about 34 weeks . Very keen to use water, but everything I've heard so far is a no to that. Meet the consultant in 3 weeks, so perhaps she will be more helpful.

Am also looking forward to sofa time when the kids are old enough to entertain each other! Perhaps I need to hold onto that thought.

Just keep saying how you wont cope with 3 kids after a C Section. They can't argue with that!

I'm 20 weeks nto my second pg. Not twins though! I had quite bad SDP last time, this time it has come on earlier and much more severely. The only thing that has helped is forking out to see an osteo, who worked miracles, and wearing a support belt which the physios at the hosp gave me last time.

I hope you feel better soon and good luck X

Thanks PeasPlease. I am happy to have the managed 3rd stage/drip, just asked because I wanted to understand what it would be like. I'm (over?)using the "I won't cope line" about c/s as well as epidural, since my SPD mainly results from an injury to my pelvis from the last birth when I was flat on my back for delivery.

littleoldme sympathy for your SPD. Hope you (we both) don't get any worse!

I dont know if it helps but I had a c sec for my twins as they were in the wrong position, as it was only a few days of feeling fragile and painful (and i spent those in hospital) + it was very relaxed as it was planned. I was very happy with it.

Hi, i'm 26 +1 with fraternal twins. I did have SPD and went to the physio and was given a belt. Fortunately or unfortunately (not decided yet) it seems to have almost disappeared. The reason why i say unfortunately is because up until it disappeared i could hardly bend. I struggled to pick up things from the floor, but now it's become so much easier. So, now i'm worried that one may have engaged or something. My friend who is a student midwife says they only usually engage with the 2nd pregnancy when they are ready and it's now 2 weeks till my next scan, so i'm rather anxious. They are still kicking away, but i have also started (at the same time as being able to bend and losing my SPD) getting kicks really really low down. Feels like the foot is in my vagina!!!! It makes me jump sometimes.

I also went through a stage a month ago of not having any appetite. I would have a light lunch and by 7pm i would still not be feeling hungry, but i would force myself to eat something for the babies sake. My appetite still isn't as it was but it is a bit better.

Everyone says that the 2nd trimester is the blooming stage, but it completed passed me by too. I have blothcy skin and even a slight pregnancy mask. I even got a sty a few weeks ago. My dp says i look 'bogging'. ha. Also before my SPD lessened i could be in agony and cried on more than one occasion. Twice caused by visiting the doctors- one time they pressed down on it!!!! and the second time made me climb on the bed, spread my legs (for a swab) and then get off again. I couldn't lift my legs up to get my knickers and jeans on by the time they'd finished. Ended up breaking down and having to walk (well limp) past a very packed waiting room.

It can feel very overwhelming having twins. I'm so big right now that people (strangers) keep making comments about how i should stay home just incase,(When i took my dd to a theme park yesterday) or not make any future arrangements (ie,if i say my dd can attend a party next week) It scares the hell out of me about just how big i'm actually going to get! And then you have articles in the newspapers about having more chances of a marital breakdown with twins and also the lack of money etc etc. The only one person who has shown any positivity is a fellow twin mum who told me 'having twins is the best thing ever'. And i think she should know better than everyone else.

So you're not on your own- feeling like you do. I go through peaks and troughs and right now i'm having a peak. Hope you're feeling more positive soon.

Forgot to say that i found some research that said that 60% of mums that have their 1st twin naturally end up with a c-section for the 2nd twin.

Also i had a c-section (emergency) for my dd, but didn't find it hard at all. Although my friend who also had one, didn't cope well at all. I think it's just as individual as pregnancy and childbirth really, it all depends on the person and the situation.

Hi, my b/g twins are almost 18 weeks old, I was lucky not to have a trying pregnancy but even so I did not enjoy the second trimester, too shocked and knackered, I lost weight in the first 4 months then levelled for a month and around 24wks started to gain lots.

I just want to say that I was adament I wanted a natural birth and frustrated that I was 32wks before seen by my consultant, however she agreed that a natural birth was best due to a complicated c section before, at 36wks I went for a scan the babies were both transverse and this warranted an immediate admission to hospital where I stayed until they were delivered at 36+6 by c section. Whilst I was upset both about the c sect and being in hospital away from my 4 other dc I understood the reason especially as past labours have been very quick.

The c section was actually a positive one, despite being cut nearer my navel(twin 1 was very low down and in the way as well as concern opening past scar) I recovered well and was up and about at home with the twins as well as my just turned 2y old and 3y old.

Now 18 wks on life is good the twins sleep 12hrs at night which helps and all their siblings love them (its just the housework that suffers)

Good luck with everything and if you want more advice/banter, escapism Many twin mums lurk near the multiplesboard

Crikey Insanity how did you get them sleeping that length of time at 18 weeks? Please please share your secrets, I haven't slept longer than a 3 hour stretch in nearly a year!!

Hi Peas congrats on your bundles, I made a tough decision that I would have to give them EBM rather B/f as I have a challenging schedule dd1 nursery 8.30am collect 11.30am, ds's1&2 junior school 8.50am collect3.15pm and ds3 pre school 9.30am collect 12pm. I managed to express up to 12wks but found it was unfair to my other children,as by then they were on 5 feeds a day of 7oz bottles and even with a good pump I spent alot of time expressing.

So at 12 wks they took cow&gate which seemed to fill them up (harder to digest) but this meant we were able to adjust the bottles and now they have 4 8oz feeds about 8am, 12.30, 4pm and 7.pm, they go straight to bed after the last feed and are happy to self settle so are asleep 10 mins after going to bed.
but I had to think of my other 4dc and this has worked out well for everyone

However I really do miss the fact we only did a few proper feeds before Expressing and that they now have formula, I loved feeding my others even the night feeds with trashy tv.

I cant help on the SPD front as I was very fortunate not to suffer but I do have 10 month old boy/girl twins and a nearly 4 yo and can assure you that life doesnt end and can actually be quite good sometimes

When I got to 34 weeks I was massive and really fed up and asked about being induced the consultant said she would happily induce me at 37 weeks but no sooner!! In the end I managed to get induced at 36+6 (but only because they were booked up the day after lol)

When I arrived the on duty consultant arrived, took one look at my notes and saw the words induction and twins and started mentally preparing me for theatre! she asked if I wanted an epidural or spinal block and put me in the room next to theatre!

I told her that I had had my first (9lb 13oz) in 3 hours with no problems and this birth would be the same and I would never consider an epidural. She agreed but obviously didnt believe me and sent the antheisitist (sp) to talk to me!! I listened to what he said and thanked him and then told him to have a nice day and that I hoped not to see him again lol
They broke my waters but nothing happened so after 4 hours they started me on the drip and nothing happened until they had it at maximum!
I finally got a contraction and they started coming thick and fast, I remember saying to the midwife (just her and DH in the room with me) that I was "going to moo" and then have a baby (moo as in blow back down the g&a tube) she was like yeah yeah ok, just then I mooed and she was pressing the alarm as DD (6lb 1/2oz) was making her way into the room lol, suddenly the room filled with people and the consultant arrived and said "good girl you managed one lets try another" if it wasnt for the gas and air I would probably have punched her as it was so patronising!!!
10 minutes later there was a massive pop and my 2nd waters went and flooded the room and the snidey consultant (karma? lol) a minute later in a g&a haze I heard someone announce "its a foot" quickly followed by "and another" and then DS2 (7lb 2oz) was born!
My labour from 1st contraction to both babies was 47 minutes!
I had a managed 3rd stage and that was actually the worst bit as they wanted to be certain no placenta remained and also making sure I didnt haemorrage (sp) but the g&a made it manageable lol

They were both fine and we went to a side room an hour later (6pm), the only problem was being hooked up to the drip til it ran its course.
I went home the next day at 11am. The first 6 weeks were demanding but not that much worse than how it had been with DS1.
They started sleeping through at about 3 months and are the happiest little things ever

I can honestly say they are easier than DS1 ever was and now they are crawling and cruising and always into mischief lol

Speak to your consultant about your fears and see if you have a local twins club to join and then you can speak to many multiple mums and get advice and meet some twins.

I found the thought of twins alot scarier than the reality and I remember worrying constantly through my pregnancy, things will get better and son you will have two lovely babies to cuddle

Meant to say that they have done the 7 till 7 from 13wks once the 8oz bottles four times a day had been done for a couple of days.

Hello. I dont know if anyone has any info or advice. I am 20+1 with MC/DA twins. I dont know if my pain is SPD as i havent really spoken to my consultant yet but I seem to gte a really bad ache in my lower back after walking for a while. The pain spreads over my hips and into my groin and sometimes down my thighs. I am constantly tired yet finding it impossible to sleep for more than an hour or 2 at a time. I am still working at the minute and plan on working as far as possible. How far has any one else worked? I am lucky that my job is office based but it exhausts me non the less. I have ds who is 12 and dd who is 9months. I am quite scared of her reaction to the twins arrival as for 11 years we never thought we could have more children then after I had a gastric bypass along she came. We were still so surprised at her arrival that finding out I was pregnant let alone with twins has really taken us by surprise. She has been our little miracle (and always will be) and she is used to all of our attention. DS absolutley adores her. Lots of rambling going on in my head so apologies if this doesnt make sense!