Neurotic driving myself nuts with anxiety

[Athrawes]

I am 35 weeks and just so anxious that the midwife has suggested I see mental health services! Baby had a bit of a quiet day yesterday and I got anxious about that. Went into birth centre this morning for a Doppler listen and all OK - MW then suggested that maybe I should go down the hospital for a proper foetal monitor readout to reassure me - this entails an hour and a half on a really exposed cliff road - by the time I got there I was just a snivelling wreck. Needless to say baby is fine.
I am just tying myself in knots worrying the baby will be stillborn. It isn't good for the baby and the midwifes are warning me that if I can't manage to chill then labour will be really hard. What can I do to just chill?

If you are that bad book an emergency appt to see your gp.

Honestly they should be able to help.

Also remember that a newborn can also bring stress and you don't want the first part of your baby's life to not be enjoyable so go and ask for some help.

31 weeks adn also suffering from anxiety here and getting help with it - makes a huge difference and means you can actually look forward to baby arriving.

Also meditation can be good - get a book from the library or you can get free online mp3s to listen to to guide you through it.

Armadillo
what kind of help? I am worried that if I pitch up at the GP snivelling over a non existent worry that they will have me down as nuts before the baby even arrives. I'll have social workers crawling all over us?

No they won't contact social services.

What they will do is discuss your worries, strategies that you can use to calm yourself down, support and any services they can provide and maybe even medication if you feel you want it (though not necessarily).

As bonkers goes - your only up to 'mildly' nowhere near 'men in white coats' level

I will try and get some sleep tonight (nearly bedtime here on the otherwise of the world) and yes, might go see someone tomorrow. I think that just sharing helps.

I think what you're feeling is quite normal. Most mums to be very anxious especially if it's a first pregnancy or there have been losses before. I think midwifes and doctors are very quick to cover themselves now adays by saying 'mental health help' or any other service, i oersonally think that in some cases they are too quick to jump down this line of thought! They don't seem to take into account that some people are just anxious not depressed!! At the end of the day all the books say to get checked out if you feel reduced movements which is what you did, you wouldn't have relaxed or forgiven yourself if you haven't. I agree that midwifes need to intervene in some cases and that some people do need help but in a lot of cases anxiety is confused with paranoia and depression. You sound like you will be a loving caring mum don't worry about what the midwifes say and good luck with everything.

extreme anxiety can be a mental illness.

I have something called generalised anxiety disorder which is very disabling - atm I can't work etc.

If it is affecting you to the point where it makes everyday life difficult then you need help.

Depression isn't the only mental illness ffs

Armadillo - completely agree. I too have anxiety, and have been referred to the mental health team at my hospital just so I have extra support and can talk through my worries in good time before the baby is born, and so that they can keep an extra eye on me in the post-natal period.

Anxiety is a form of mental illness - people get so wound up by the term "mental illness" but it can mean anything on a huge spectrum, just as "physical illness" can range from a bit of a sniffle to a terminal disease. Nothing to feel stigmatised about - get as much help as you want/need, be that from your GP, midwife, counsellor, friends, family etc etc.

And finally - anxiety/depression/paranoia can't just be put into little boxes - the mind/emotions are complex, and the most important thing is to ensure you have the right support for you, rather than worrying too much about labels.

A lot of people seem to panic that they'll be reported to social services for admitting to mental health issues, but you would have to be endangering your children already for that to happen. Simple anxiety or depression will not get you referred at all!

CBT can help some people with anxiety. The point of it is to help you recognise when you're panicking or doing something that will make things more negative, and stopping yourself. It's very good for people who get panic attacks, but is also used for things like chronic pain.

As TheArmadillo said, depression is not the only mental health problem around. Anxiety is a mental health problem in its own right, but don't feel stigmatised by that - most people have issues with anxiety or depression at some point in their lives! It's just important to recognise it and get help if it's interfering with your life or your physical health.

Agree about getting some help, but I would recommend you consider natal hypnotherapy. I've found the CDs brilliant for helping me keep calm and now I'm actually looking forward to the birth. I used the birth preparation one but there is one for pregnancy relaxation too. Not expensive and get sent out straight away.

Can't tell you it'll help with the birth (39+2), though there are lots of glowing stories, but it does help me relax, sleep and be positive about pregnancy and the birth, so may be worth a go for you?

Hope you manage to feel more positive soon, it really can't be easy for you and you do have my sympathies.

You poor thing - I've suffered with anxiety/panic attacks in the past & I know just how debilitating it can be. I would second japhrimel's CBT suggestion - I found it really helpful at minimising the panic and recognising when I was going in that direction! My GP was very supportive and I saw a counsellor at the surgery in confidence. I also found pilates classes helpful as they help you get control over your breathing (but obviously that's not the sort of thing you can start right now, might have to wait til after baby arrives ) The other thing that helped was just setting aside half an hour or so every day to relax, put my feet up and put some calming music on or read a book and make a big effort not to think about what was making me anxious - it just gives you a little bit of time out to recover from all the stressing!

Sending you a big hug x