Just for fun - Has anybody else's friends turned into total bitches upon announcing your pregnancy to them???

[LittleBeth53]

Hi everyone! I know this is a weird topic of conversation to begin but I'm just wondering, has anybody elses friends & girlfriends turned into total bitches when you told them you're expecting!

Mine have become nightmares!!! Unsupportive, disinterested & I think some may even be jealous! We're all 24 & I'm the first out of 'our group' to fall pregnant, but I haven't seen them in weeks now!! I'm totally left out these days!! Bitches!! Hahaha!

Even my best friend of 15 years who has been more like a sister to me, almost trys to 'compete' with me! She had very minor bunion surgery & my god did she make a meal of it?!?! She milked it for all it was worth. But when I mention offhand that my ligaments are killing me as my tummy is swollen in my 6th month of pregnancy, she jumps in & goes, "yeah well, I'M having to have crutches for 4 days! At least you can walk!!"

Is it just me or has your pregnancy brought out the total inner children of your friends??

I was 23 when I had my DD and also the 1st in our group of friends. One mate tried to tell me that it was a fact that having your tonsils removed was more painful than childbirth . I think part of it is that the dynamics are changing and they arent ready for it.
FWIW Im now of preg 4 (5 years later) and still see a few of my old friends but met some lovely people at the 1st time mums group after having DD and she is now my BF in the true sense.
Good luck.

jealousy!
just smile sweetly and agree with them!

You will, no doubt meet some other new Mums when you have your baby, and they will be in the same boat as you so you will have lots in common.

Sounds like you need some new friends. That's appalling, poor you. I hope you get some better support soon.

Hello! I'm also 24 and 24 weeks pregnant. My sister is 23 weeks and we mostly have the same friends. We're also the first of our friends to be pregnant.

A lot of our friends, particularly the ones we used to see quite a lot, have just stopped contacting us almost completely. I'm at university in a different city at the moment so it's not quite as obvious to me as it is to my sister. Although, they still don't even send the odd text to me. It does disappoint me. I don't think any of them are jealous but they just seem to think that we're not the same people anymore. Neither of us are bothered about going out all night and not drinking but we never get invited out anymore. One friend didn't even invite me out for her birthday a month ago, although she claimed she texted me but I didn't reply. Of course I know that's not the case.

They all seemed so supportive at first and wanted to be 'aunties' to the babies. At least I know which friends are there for the long haul.

Most importantly to me, the friend I'd always felt closest to has stayed supportive, doesn't mind my whinging and is excited about the babies. And I'm now back in contact with a friend I'd not spoken to for a year and a half and she's really good about everything too. At least my sister and I have eachother. It would be more upsetting if we didn't.

I really hope your friends stop being childish and become more like friends should be. Just don't expect much support from them when/if you're having a bad day or difficulties with your baby. That way, any help you do get will seem like a bonus.

That felt really good to complain!

I really know how you feel!

I was 23 when I had my first child and was the first from my group of friends. (most of them weren't even in serious relationships or married, let alone having kids) I definitely noticed a significant shift when I announced my pregnancy. Getting married before them all had been a bit tough on the friendship, but not so bad, but as soon as the pregnancy was announced that was it - I NEVER got invited out anymore. I'm not even just talking about nights out - even things like we used to meet on a Sat morning in a wee local coffee shop for coffee and cake and I stopped getting invited to that. As a couple we never got invited out either and my husband didn't ever get another invite out with the boys. We tried to have people round to our house, but they just weren't interested. By the time our son was born we were barely in touch with any of them and only 1 person bothered to come and visit. She only came once though - never again! The saddest thing is these people were all at our wedding and we even counted one of my bridesmaids amoung the number!

I'm now on my 3rd pregnancy and most of our friends also have kids and are married etc... so it's completely different, there are still a few single folk though. Most of them are great - they've stuck with us for the last 5 years and we know they are true friends. (and for me that includes taking notice of my children - not just me!) There are one or two however who are quite anti-having kids and to be honest I just stay away from them because I'm fed up of the first thing they say to me being "you're getting really big now aren't you?" or, "I thought the sleepless nights weren't supposed to start until after the babies were born - you look like you haven't slept in a week!" (it wouldn't even annoy me so much if I was huge - but I'm 23 weeks with twins and have only started showing at all in the last 2 weeks and am still tiny!) It's clearly just a case of sour grapes.

Its horrible when those closest to you aren't happy for you isn't it? I'm sorry you've not been able to rely on your friends.

I'm also 24 and this is my first pregnancy. I don't have a huge group of girlfriends, my best friend is a gay guy and I have 3 very close girlfriends but we're not all one big group, I'm just friends with them individually. They are at completely different stages in their lives to me. Still studying, partying, not settling down at all, but have been soooo supportive, more than I ever expected.

But my big sister? Not. At. All.

She is 28 and we've always been close. But since being pregnant (I'm now 37+4) I've hardly seen her. In fact I can count the amount of times I have seen her since Christmas on one hand, with digits to spare!

She has fallen out with me numerous times over miniscule things that she has made up, sent me horrible passive aggressive texts, tried to cause trouble between me and my dad...I could go on all day.

She even started to organise a suprise Baby Shower for me but then sent me a text saying she wouldn't be bothering as I obviously had 'issues' with her (huh??) but then told my mum that she was still organising it. She went back to acting normal with me again. Only to cancel the baby shower and not tell me! I only heard from my mum.

I'm really gutted that my being preganant has changed our relationship so much. I'm getting married next June and she is supposed to be my maid of honour but I don't know whether it is my being happy that is driving her crazy so that might not happen!

Wow, what a rant! I didn't know how upset I was until I started writing! Sorry for the long post

LeoniPoni- how awful, honestly! There must be an underlying reason for her behaviour seeing as you were once so close?
my sister had similar attitude towards me when i first found out i was pregnant, had to sit her down as i couldnt deal with it anymore. Turns out she felt 'insecure' as she was the one in the longer term relationship and more family orientated and was 'expected' to have children before me. Now she's thrilled with the idea.

strange isnt it how the fabric of relationships can suddenly change when you go through a life changing experience. Some people just can't relate to you anymore on the same level.

Thanks Clairejs! Yeah there probably is an underlying reason, you've inspired me to talk to her. I'll just ask if she is okay, if she needs to talk about anything and if she doesn't want to discuss what is going on with her I'll just tell her how her behaviour has upset me.

It might be a little bit like with your sister. With her being a few years older, she mght feel under pressure now. Hopefully she'll come around like yours did!

Yeah it is strange how relationships change! Friendships I thought would last a life time have fizzled out with big life changes!

Ive got a friend who just doesnt mention mine. She had a MC last year, and probably finds it hard seeing me at 15 weeks now. But she texts a lot but never asks how I am or anything. I had 2 miscarriages, so it's not as if I had an easy ride (so to speak...)
But she's like your friends, makes a meal of every twinge she has, and every sniffle.

My turn to have a rant. My very best friend since like forever changed after announcing my first pregnancy. I tried my best to talk about normal things although I was so ill with hyperemis that was admitted to hospital a few times. No sympathy from her, in fact once when I told her I could only keep chips down and nothing else, she told me off. Then, she would call me occasionally to have a go at me asking me to take vegetables and fruits instead! I know she probably meant well but d'oh!

Since having my baby, relationship got even more strained. I was busy and you know how everything is 'baby baby' when dc is less than a year old? She couldn't be bothered with it so our conversations just ran dry. At one point, I was feeling extremely down as I had a CT scan (turns out it was migraine due to stress and hormones) and the response I got from her "Look, you're not the most unfortunate person in the world. Stop mopping round. you've got a healthy baby and you should be happy". Being quite soft, I didn't argue back. Since then, I've tried my best to sort of just keep in touch with her but every conversation I have with her (which I always avoid talking about DS), she would have a go at me about something, anything she can think about!

I think the last straw was when I spent £100 for her christmas pressie, and she bought me a cheap smelly (saw in shop later it was only £5). Sigh! Perhaps I'm being too tough on her. It's quite true that she may have underlying reasons, e.g. she wants a baby too but can't etc. Still good to have a good moan.

This isn't just pregnancy related but more a lifestyle/lifecycle thing.

e.g. when my friend bought a house and all her other friends were still at home and partying she noticed that many people were rolling their eyes when she started to discuss DIY. Some were lost as they couldn't understand why she couldn't continue partying (i.e. the costs associated with DIY made it very difficult). Years later when they bought their houses it was the topic of choice and they didn't go out at all.

One thing I have noticed is that if you are the 'trend setter' you bear the brunt of the abuse, etc and if you're the last people pity you.

how peculiar. I was first of my friends to be PG at 26. And everyone was fine about it, perfectly pleasant. . and sorry but snort at the trauma of being the first of the group to do DIY.