Some work advice please!

[CheeseChomper]

Hi all,

Just found out last week that i'm 5/6wks pg, so due end next Jan.

I obviously don't want to tell work that i'm pg yet,as it's very early days and in case things go wrong, but i've just been going through some work emails this evening, and have received one from my superior (who i'm not particularly close to) asking me to take on an area of work that i'd previously stated i'd be interested in.

However, I now don't want the commitment, thinking of my company as well as myself, as if things go to plan, i'd look to go on maternity leave at Xmas, which would only leave me 6 months to get to work in this area, which I know isn't enough time to get things moving, nor would be it be great for everyone concerned if I put in the work, then passed it onto someone else who had no one idea what i'd been doing- they'd probably have to start pretty much from scratch and wouldn't have my contacts etc.

What should I do? I'm loathe to confide in this woman just yet, but she wants me to consolidate my 'career plan' for this coming year by the end of this week, so i'm under a lot of pressure. Currently in tears, which i'm sure is more hormones than actually to do with work At the moment i'm so tired that the thought of taking on anything else is horrible!

OK, OP, deep breath!

OK now? I think this is a really difficult choice for you, you obviously sound very torn and want to do the right thing by everyone. FWIW, I wouldn't mention it. 5-6 weeks is very early days, and to be fair, you might not know you were pg yet, so it's not as if your superior will think 3 months down the line "ah-ha! Subordinate OP lied to me about her career plans!"

Similarly moving elsewhere is likely to impact quite seriously on your maternity pay, plus you will face the do I don't I tell at interview question.

Congratulations btw!

Thanks LittleSilver!

I certainly don't want to leave my work as I actually like it overall (despite annoying superior!) and I of course want my pretty decent maternity benefits!

I'm just torn because I wish I didn't have to make a decision about this area of work right now, and at least wait until 12 weeks. THEN I could tell them that I was pg, and then this work decision is pretty much out of my hands. If I seem shifty and uncommittal now, without telling them why, it might affect my position

Aaaargh, what to do?!

I would accept the work now, make a start on it and then tell them at 12 weeks. They can then decide if it should be passed to someone else.
As littlesilver says it is possible that you wouldn't know at this stage and i doubt anyone is going to sit and work out how pregnant you were when you did you career plan. If they do, lie and say you found out at 8 weeks!
Good luck.

You cant be treated any less favourable at work because of pregnancy. I would take on the extra opportunities because when returning to work you need every advantage you can!

I'd take the other view - I think it will be thought better of you if you don't take on a commitment you know you won't be able to complete. And if you're struggling with symptoms alerady, that'll only get worse, so you don't want to make yourself exhausted.

Could you tell this manager in confidence? That would probably be the simplest solution. If you told her that it's very early, so you don't yet know that everything will be okay, but that you don't want to put the company in a difficult position by taking on this project and then leaving it half-way through, maybe she'd understand?

Do remember that you need to tell your boss you're pregnant before you need any time off for pregnancy related sickness or appointments so they know they can't count any of it on your record.

I agree with carolondon, you should take the project on and then re-assess at 12 weeks once you know all is ok. Hopefully, as long as you give enough notice that will allow for sufficient handover provisions to be made.

If this is something that will help your career progress then it's definitely a good idea to take it on whilst you can. You may not get the opportunity again after returning to work as it may be assumed you have your hands full. If you can put yourself in a good career position before maternity leave, so much the better.

I hate to be a voice of doom but I am now pregnant for the 5th time. None of my previous pregnancies made it past 12 weeks. I don't want to freak you out, I just want to give a different perspective. Chances are you won't be so unlucky, I am 40 after all so at a somewhat risky age. I am self employed so my dilemmas aren't quite the same as yours but the first couple of times I was pregnant I turned down several work bookings over the month leading up to my due date and the couple of months afterwards and then was pretty fed up when I had no work and no baby. Since then I have always decided to carry on as normal and not turn down great opportunities, rather, just make changes/cancellations once I have a better idea of my circumstance.

I know of plenty of people, in real life and on here, who have had to do a big handover or tying up of a project before maternity leave. It can be stressful, of course. I guess it depends on whether it's something that will stand you in better stead career-wise or whether it's just an extra headache in the long run.

I would be cagey about letting on at the moment. You never know whether it will bias someone else's decision or not. The decision should be yours and on your terms at this stage. If it's a project that would be given to someone else if you were unable to commit then it could also be handed over to that person at a later stage if necessary. Or perhaps shared until you go on maternity leave?

I have been in a similar situation, by random coincidence with both pgs. PG1 - had shown interest in applying for a new position when I found out about pg. PG2 - was approached by my boss to take on a new role having just found out. I ended up telling boss both times and not taking on the roles. It would have been too much stress to take on the extra work (have had crap pgs both times (so far)) and would have felt guilty and stressed about taking something on only have to have to pass it over to someone else a few months in.

Both times, work were very good about it - they said they would have been supportive if I did want to do the roles but it was my decision not to.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

The thing is, if you're 5-6 weeks now it's actually not that long before you can tell your employer and make handover arrangements. I would take on the work, make a start on it, but ensure you're keeping really good notes to enable someone else to take over from you. Once you announce you're pregnant after your 12 week scan, you'll be able to ask them to make handover arrangements; it's not as though they have to wait until you're going on mat leave.

Congratulations by the way!

Hi all,

Thanks so much for your advice!

I've been feeling a bit less hormonal the last couple of days, so have been able to make more rational decisions, and i've decided to take on the work for now, as (touch wood) if everything goes to plan, it's only be about another 5 weeks before I tell work anyway. This will allow me to bide my time and start the research phase, which I can then handover if I/work deems neccessary.

Thank god for this outlet and all the lovely advice from others!