reading far too much and now scaring myself

[lullabellesmummy]

Hi all

This may be a little long so please bear with me.

After deciding to add another little bundle of joy to our family, I first started searching the internet about how long it took for people to conceive after having the mirena coil removed. This was when I found mumsnet! I started to read the threads in conception and low and behold, we fell pregnant straightaway. I know this would not have happened so quickly without reading these threads. EWCM, DPO, etc were completely new to me.

So after getting my + ve 7 dpo, I moved from the conception threads to the pregnancy threads which doesn't really help!

Ever since I did this, these past few weeks have been a nightmare. I have read so much which scares the hell out of me. I had some bleeding and quite severe cramping at 6 weeks. Finally managed to convince the Dr to send me to EPAC for a scan at 8 weeks. Saw my beautiful little 'prawn', heart beating away. I then had a tiny bit of spotting but again severe cramping at 10 weeks. Dr advised rest. Thankfully, I have had no more bleeding and only little twinges here and there. My morning sickness has been very sporadic. It comes and goes. I never had any with dd so it was completely new to me. I have put on 3lbs so far (I'm 12+3) yet I'm already in my maternity trousers.

I have my NT scan next Thursday and I'm working myself up into such a state that the baby is no longer alive. I have read so much about missed miscarriages, I am convinced this is the case.

I was never like this with dd1. I had such a happy and relaxed pregnancy. I had the same access to the same information, so why is it now I'm so anxious and paranoid.

Sorry for the long post! My dh is amazing but he is of the mind set that 'what will be, will be' and there is nothing we can do about it.

I'm on annual leave at the mo and really wish I wasn't because at least when I was at work, I had something to keep my mind occupied. Dd is currently at her nanas, dh asleep so here I am worrying and worrying and worrying.

x

Line 9 which reads 'which doesn't really help' should not be there. Phantom typing or me going bonkers, I think the latter. x

I know how you feel! Stopped going on these forums for my first after the second trimester as I was getting into such a state about everything, convinced that anything that could go wrong would. Didn't have time with my 2nd as DD was only 1yr old but have found myself on here all the time with no.3. Am too convinced that I have a missed miscarriage, or that after an early scan things will go wrong, etc.

On the plus side, it's been lovely having advice from people and an understanding of what you're going through. Unfortunately you have to take the rough with the smooth, that and maybe don't read the posts you think might upset you too much

know exactly what you mean ladies, I didn't come on here when I was pregnant last time, nor did I look stuff up anywhere else therefore I dodn't worry about much, this time I wound myself up a treat until I had my first scan at 13.5. Since then I have worried a lot less and stopped reading any threads that might set me off again. Can't help you much but at least you're not alone!

Hi there

I really do sympathise. I am trying to accept that worrying is normal and natural. (i'm 14 weeks)

If you're feeling really anxious, you could always phone the midwife pager number for a quick chat. I did this the other day and the midwife I spoke to was so nice and reassuring. She even came round and did the little heart monitor thing - I could have had her stay there with the heart monitor on my tum all day!

A midwife would be a good person to talk to if you are worried about bleeding for example. Or you could try and talk to your GP.

Can you try and take comfort from the fact you did successfully have a baby before? I think no two pregnancies are the same, even for the same mother. But maybe you could try and remember as many details of that pregnancy as you can and happier, more relaxed thoughts might come back to you.

And yes, maybe don't read too much on the internet! I did that too earlier on when I was feeling really sick and nauseous and it made me feel anxious too. I'm trying not to read up too much about birth either... feels like ages away yet and I'm thinking - one step at a time.

Try to relax and enjoy your holiday!

I think it's pretty normal to worry. From my experience, a lot of first time Mums are wearing the rose-tinted specs and it doesn't even occur to them that something could go wrong. But experience and greater knowledge can make that harder to maintain because things do go wrong sometimes.

However, seeing the heartbeat at 8 weeks is supposed to be a good sign that everything will be okay at 12 weeks, so try to hang on to that and remember that stress is bad for both of you!

I was the same.

First pg was a complete surprise (well, not completely, wasn't an immaculate conception or anything ) and it didn't occur to me that i would lose the baby or anything would be wrong. Was young, healthy had morning sickness so as far as i was concerned all was fine. Everything was fine, DD is now 2.6yrs old

I am just coming up to 30weeks with dc2, and i have been a lot more paranoid this time.

Whether it is down to the fact that i would be more aware of what it would be to lose one having a DD now, or the fact i have met more mothers since having DD and realising how common miscarriage is, or the fact i have MN now, which does give a slightly skewed view on things as lots of women come to MN because of mc or fertility problems, or whether i have just grown up a bit and realised just what the whole pg thing entails a bit more i don't know.

Your DH is right though, if you are very unlucky and mc, there is nothing that can be done. It is one of those things. I hope your scan goes well, i'm sure you will be fine

I was much more worried this time around but I think I read less than I did the first time. As someone else said because I had less time due to my DS and that I have changed my job. I felt that I had been luck the first time and that I couldn't possibly be as lucky again.

I also had some spotting at 11 weeks which I never had with my first pregnancy and terrified me. Maybe you just don't remember the negative things from the previous pregnancy and I was actually much more stressed than I remembered. There is really nothing anyone can say to make you feel any better, if you've been told to rest then you are doing the right thing being on leave and you just have to grit your teeth and wait for the next scan.

Good luck with everything and perhaps plan a nice day out with your family to take your mind off things