missed miscarriage

[Srse]

hi just found out through scan this morning that there was no heartbeat but sac/ embryo etc was there. Devastating as still have symptoms - mid wife said I can wait to miscarry naturally or have d&c - can anyone give me some advice? - my mind is just a blur. i was around the 8 weeks mark.

So sorry to hear your news. My mmc was picked up at the 12 week scan.

The options are usually to wait to let nature take it's course, or to have an ERPC (D&C). What you do depends on how you are feeling and what's best for you.

I was booked in for the D&C but miscarried naturally over the weekend before. It was very heavy bleeding for the first 2 days then it subsided to a normal-ish period type flow for about another 4 days. The cramping on the first day was very painful - having already had a dc, I would liken it to contractions as your body is expelling everything.

I believe an ERPC is done under GA and completely clears the womb so there is minimal pain and bleeding after. I am sure someone will be along soon with personal experience of this.

Either way, please take the time to rest and grieve. It is a complete shock and tough to get used to not being pregnant - put your feet up and rest for a while. I took a week off work, and although some people take longer, I just wanted to get back to normality once the bleeding and pain had stopped.

Talk it through with your partner - he will be in shock too, but ultimately do what's best for you.

Hello Srse, I'm very sorry for your loss it's a horrible experience. Is this your first pregnancy? I found the miscarriage section of mumsnet so supportive after my mc's and also the ttc after mc thread in the conception section when/if you feel ready for that. I really think being able to talk about it helped me a lot, because it's so seldom mentioned in RL.

I have had two mc and waited to miscarry naturally each time. The first time was just like the heavy period the doctors suggest to you, the second was extremely painful with heavy flow, nurofen did nothing for the pain at all. I was about 10 weeks when the heavy bleeding started each time but no development of the embryo from about 5-6 weeks, so I have no idea why one was painful. I just mention the pain because I get irrationally annoyed when they say it will just be like a heavy period when it occasionally isn't.

I've never had a d&c so can't offer you any advice on that I'm afraid, just to say if I have another mc I think I would still go for a natural option just get painkillers in advance from the doctor.

Are you seeing the midwife or the gynaecology department again soon?

Whatever you decide I wish you the best and I'm very sorry for what you're going through.

So sorry to hear this

After mine, I went home to think, then decided to have a d&C which was done the next day. I stayed in hospital overnight as it was done quite late in the day.
I had minimal bleeding for a few (maybe 5 days) then a huge bleed, lots of clots etc. I rang the hospital for advice on this and they reassured me it was quite normal but to contact them again if it was prolonged or I felt very unwell. It was lke a very heavy painful period but only lasted a matter of a few hours.

Hope that helps.

The Miscarriage Association have excellent leaflets on what the choices are and how to make the decisions:
www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/ma2006/information/leaflets.htm

Sorry to hear about your loss.

I had a missed miscarriage which was picked up at scan at 13 weeks, womb and sac were right size for dates but baby had stopped growing at 9 weeks.

I had some spotting on morning of scan so hospital suggested I would miscarry in next few days and to take paracetamol.

Paracetamol did bugger all for the pain, I have since gone through labour and the pain during miscarriage was exactly the same as contraction pain during labour. So if you opt for the natural option get some decent painkillers just in case.

Sorry didn't want to scare you and I know lots of women do just have period pain but just wanted to let you know that pain is a possibility.

On the other hand, I had an ERPC which gave me Ashermans syndrome and meant I had no periods for nearly a year until I had corrective surgery which thankfully worked.
I'd never have that procedure again. Ever.

I have had two missed miscarriages, both followed by ERPCs .

The first was discovered at 11/12 weeks - showing as 6/7 weeks. ERPC carried out 5 days later (booked straight away but with a scan to confirm).

The second (discovered to be twins ) was discovered at 7 weeks (early scan after my first experience) but then took another 3+ weeks of repeat scans at the hosptial before they agreed to the ERPC (they were mis-reading/misunderstanding the sonographers report: never got to the bottom of why, but they kept on saying I needed to come back for another scan to confirm, even though the sonographer said she didn't understand why I was coming back and asked "if I was letting nature take its course"....eh, no). It took a melt down on my part when I was asked to come back again for them to agree to the ERPC and even then they watned to do more bloods to "confirm" - at which point I had even more of a melt down and told them that my GP had already done three sets of bloods and there was no longer* a viable pregnancy

There is no guarantee about when you will have the "natural" miscarriage - you need to decide yourself about whther you are prepared to wait for something that may or may not happen. Some bodies (like mine ) do not seem to "want" to give up the pregnancy. Personally, I couldn't have gone on functioning with that reminder of my body's failure still inside me.

I agree with detoxdiva about giving yourslef - and your partner - time to greive and recover. One friend who gave me useful advice having gone through a miscarriage herself told me to remember that yuo are body is still full of pregnancy hormones - so expect major mood swings - and also to expect "irrational" emotions for "no reason". Be gentle on yourself.

It's not a nice time - but you will get through it.