To doula or not to doula?

[amylou222]

I'm terrifed of the whole birth experience and am wondering if anyone has had any experiences of having a doula? In theory they sound like a a great idea so am curious to know if anyone has regretted having one?

Hi amylou22
How many weeks are you? I am 37 today and expecting my first....
...I've not heard of a doula and am a bit worried about googling it?!

I had a doula (a woman who generally has had a child or few of her own to help the mother through labour act as advocate etc)

I went for one becausev DH was working abroad a lot and my mum would be looking after DD.In the end, DH was about so I sort of regretted having the doula at the birth. She was lovely but it was a very intense experience and I only really wanted DH. She was a real help and support afterwards though - IMO well worth getting for day 3 or so when your milk comes in with a huge rushof hormones.

Dolphona78, I'm only 6 weeks but when I went for my appointment at the doctors this morning and got a bit freaked out when she was asking me if I knew where I wanted to deliver! I haven't got a clue! I'm still in shock at being pregnant... so this morning I've been pondering doula, birthing pools and all things delivery! I've got a bit of a fear already of hospitals and giving birth and though if there was someone there who actually knew what the heck was going on it would be helpful. Thanks for that Azazello, I'll pondern further......

I had a doula as DH wasn't sure that he wanted to be at the birth (in the end he came and went as he wanted, and was there at the end). She was fabulous, and having someone there who I didn't need to worry about asking to do exactly as I wanted was fab. She really took time to know what I wanted, and tried to make that happen, even when I was having a prem birth and fully monitored rather than the water birth I wanted.
She also spent the time after the birth worrying about me which was nice when DH had gone off to SCBU with DS.

Ah right, I now see!
amylou22 - I wonder why you are being asked these questions so early, I haven't been asked them at all and am due in 3 weeks!!
Maybe you shouldn't worry about this until you are over halfway at least?
I do understand the apprehension as you sound similar to me, I get very panicky and am not looking forward to going into hospital but am blocking it out as much as poss and will just deal with it when it happens!

Amylou - you can change your mind about things like where you want to deliver - they are only asking at this stage so they can start putting arrangements in motion for eg your dating scan which you are likely to have at the hospital where you will deliver.

Dolphin - you haven't been asked where you want to deliver

Considered a doula since DH is not keen on the whole birth idea but I parked it as I assumed he would come round - he hasn't(!) but it is probably too late now!