wanting a girl.

[staryeyed]

I know there have been loads of threads on this and people are told they should hope for healthy children etc but I really do want a girl. I have 2 ds and love them they are both amazing in their own unique way. I only ever wanted 2 children but not having a girl has really upset me I really was going to stop at 2. Its not really a gender preference thing because if I had 2 girls I would feel the need for a boy. Its about family balance. Im now pregnant very early days yet but I cant stop imagining a girl. I feel that I may be very disappointed if I dont have a girl because there will be no more children after this one and Ive changed my position on just having 2 so that we might have a girl. I dont know if any of this is making sense but I feel I have to let it out. I know I will love my child girl or boy but I think I may be unable to hide my disappointment (not about having a boy but not having a girl iyswim).

Hiya. I am pg with DC4 and have three sons. We did do shettles method for a girl this time round but after two chem pgs and an emc, I realised that it's another child we want. We stopped doing shettles and I was pg straight away. I have a name for my boy if it is a boy (I find out on Thursday) and I've been looking a cute little outfits for him - I have him as a person in my mind already. I do understand you wanting a girl - it's not about not wanting your boy, it's about what you don't and may never have. But then, as other posters have said, you don't know how a girl would be. Personally I'd be terrified any daughter of mine would be as horrid to me as I was to my mum and I'm also a bit worried that DS3 will think he was the "mistake" if DC4 is a girl (I'm 41 so this is definitely our last child). That's so not the case as I felt complete when told he was a boy iyswim - he matched DS1 and DS2.

But don't suppress how you feel, it'll just come out in other ways. Find other things to focus on - you know, 3 boys is pretty impressive and I love thinking about how they'll be growing up!
And I'll have 3 daughters in law to terrorise (maybe).

Dear staryeyed,
Gender disappointment is quite well recognised now (although people remain quite judgmental about it). If you google it, you will find a number of support groups and websites that you might find useful eg www.in-gender.com/cs/forums/6.aspx

I dont really get it. My friend had two boys, and when she got pregnant again, she was obsessed with having a girl. At the scan when she was told it was a boy, she couldnt stop crying. She had bought girls clothes and allsorts.
She has had the baby now, and has totally changed her mind. She would love another baby, and wouldnt want a girl.

I really dont mind. Having two boys myself, and being pregnant again, if I had to pick , I would pick another boy, although I think its a girl. But I agree with the poster who said you should want another baby - because you want another baby, not just because you want a girl.

IME so far, parenting girls and boys isn't that different. All needs hugs, kisses, food etc. But my dcs are 5 and under.

And, as for girls being all cutey dress up dollies, don't bank on it. My 3 yo dd won't even consider dresses or skirts.

Wanting a gender is all about imposing what we want or dream onto our kids. It's never how we imagine it will be.

Find out the gender. Get through your disappointment and when your baby is here, love him or her. You'll be too busy to be upset anyway.