so so down

[munchkinland]

Hi all,

I don't know where else to turn. I am 30 weeks and feeling so down, I have pretty much cried on and off for a week now (one day I felt OK)
I know that hormone levels are all over the place but also that by now I should be feeling good shouldn't I?
I asked my doc to check my iron and he said that it is good for a pregnant woman.

This is my 2nd, DD is 5 and I have DSS who is 6. I have a very loving and supportive DH, who unfortunately has his own work preassures at the moment, so isn't around as much as usual (and as much as I and he would like) I work full time, and am still due to work for another 8 weeks, but I am so down, i sit at my desk silently crying.

I miss DH, but also miss myself, where have I gone?? I am usually really outgoing and bubbly with loads of friends around me - a great social life (thanks to a fantastic extended family who help out with the odd Friday/Saturday night)
But my friends seem to have dissapeared and are all going out without even considering to invite me...but then if they did I am so down now, I wouldn't want to go.

I end up taking out a lot of stuff on DH, which is totally what he doesn't need when he has so much stress with work too. But I am a Jealous suspicious freak (I am NEVER like that usually) and constantly just moan at him or accuse him of stuff I know he hasn't done, and then feel so guilty about it afterwards that I end up sobbing and becoming a maniac. He hugs and reassures me, but it is upsetting him too, and I am just lost and don't know what to do.
how do I get out of this awful cycle???

Hi munchkinland,
so sorry to hear you're so down, it doesn't sound like normal pregnancy tiredness which is usually just frustrating rather than depressing. Do you think you might be depressed? Depression in pregnancy is quite common and often missed because people assume it's all part of the process, but it isn't, you shouldn't have to put up with feeling this low and down. Go back to your gp and suggest that you might be feeling more sad than normal and ask him to screen for depression. He should be able to refer you for some primary care counselling, may suggest you stop work to recover and you could even consider antidepressants if you're very low. They are safe in the 2nd and 3rd trimester. I'm a psychiatrist and also 30 weeks pregnant so know how exhausting it can feel! I see a lot of pregnant ladies in my work. You don't have to soldier on feeling like this and it's worth getting some support before you LO is born as sleep deprivation can make things worse. The good news is that you will feel better, once you get yourself some help. Good luck!

Sounds like a touch of antenatal depression, which is just as common as PND. You could try speaking to your gp about it, and get some support. You aren't alone, it's a bad patch, loads of women get like this in pregnancy.

Also most people will assume that as you're getting closer to having the baby you'll naturally want to go out less, you need to tell your friends that you still want to go out.

When you're having a better day sit down with your dh and tell him what you've told us in the last paragraph. After all it's hormones and chemicals doing this to you, it's not your fault!

I'm sorry to hear you are all over the place at the moment, can you talk about it with your GP or consaltant? You are not the only person who feels desparate, I'm 31 weeks, expecting 3rd child. I'm not feeling as down as you are, but I'm just so tired and sometimes feeling helpless. I'm working as well, and other pregnant women look great, and I feel so fat and miserable.

It's all your hormones and lack of rest etc. It will pass, eventually. Take care xx