What do you wish someone told you about having your first baby?

[dolphina78]

The above says it all really! I'm 36+3 and thought this maybe a useful thread.
Would appreciate anything you think of!

Do as many pelvic floor exercises as you can, during pregnancy AND after the birth.
Especially after the birth.

Reading the newspaper will make you cry - I could never have believed this before having children....

Ignore anyone who claims their baby is 'sleeping through/slept through' at four weeks - they are probably lying and the amount your baby sleeps in no way correlates to how good a parent you are. Especially ignore anyone who says 'Is s/he yet ?'

In fact, this goes for a range of milestones - they will develop at their own pace. MIL still maintains that her DD1 RAN at six months and that her DD2 started talking in full ten word sentances at 18 months.

Babies don't progress at linear rate - i.e. sleeping improves from 6 weeks onwards - they often regress, even at 5, 6, 7 months. It does pass.

If a breastfed baby suddenly feeds and feeds for 24 hours, you probably haven't run out of milk. They are probably having a growth spurt and it will settle down in a day or so as they build up your supply - go with it. It really, reall helps to see someone breastfeeding before you do it. If you can, go to local BF/LLL group and ask one of the Mums if you can watch her latch her baby on - I wouldn't have minded being asked this with DD. Failing that, look up a video on the internet. Shows much better the big wide gape and proper latch you're looking for.

Try to limit number of visitors straight after birth. You will be knackered and they can make their own tea/wash up/let you have the comfy seat. It's ok not to want anyone to hold your new baby and you are not selfish if you say no or ask for your baby back.

Oh yeah, everything made me cry after I'd had a baby! Can't watch violent films anymore either, not that I watched many before - even people being punched.

Wow, thank you all so so much, this is great advice, keep 'em coming!

wholelottalove i was walking and talking at 9 months
my mum has drunk a lot of wine in the last 30 years though

everyone makes mistakes
babies cry even when nothing is wrong
giving the baby a dummy wont kill it or stop its ability to breastfeed
labour is majorly scary and very very hugely painful - but you will forget within 5seconds when you see your babys face and you get that brilliant rush of hormones, we have more than one for a reason!!

i did actually get both my kids sleeping through the night by 6 weeks, by through the night i mean 10-6 though, and only because im stricter than strict when it comes to routine!!

@dolphina78 I'm very new to this - found out yesterday, so I guess about 4-5 weeks. Just terrified about getting through these early weeks and seeing it through.

i dont think i wish anyone told me anything to be honest, with my first i found it the most amazing experience ive ever had, and everyday is better than the next, i love being amummy and you will too, xxx

Fantastic thread!!!!

34 weeks today and the whole thought of whats to come is becoming increadibly daunting....yet I cant wait for LO to be here, hopefully putting into practise everyones fab advise!

im soooo jelous!! id love to be pregnant and excited again lol, its amazing ladies, nothing like it, and far better than you'd think, dont listen to any horror stories, people seemed to feel they had to tell me everything!! and awful stuff too!! her beaming little smile at me everyday makes my life complete!x

that every birth is different, but be prepared for anything!!
take lots of knickers and those toilet wipes for afterwards.

you will look back on the baby time and think it was easy... although you will be away with the fairies most of the time early on!

don't be afraid to ask for help

SLEEP WHEN THE BABY SLEEPS!

The dishes can wait....

I had braced myself for everything up to birth which I was under no illusion may not go as planned (and it didn't - started as water birth - ended up with a ventouse!) but I was fine with that however for some reason I imagined that once I brought the baby home I'd be pushing her out the day after I got home, glowing - I didn't realise how I'd hardly be able to walk far for days after my episitomy I was so sore, that my boobs would be like massive rocks when my milk came in and I couldn't lie on my side because the weight of them hurt and that my baby would sleep all day and scream all night unless I was holding her.

It was undoubtedly the hardest thing I'd ever done, a job you can't leave and that lasts 24 hours a day. No-one told me just how hard it is or how useless I'd feel not to mention the guilt when I had to give up breastfeeding. But above all I had no idea the all-consuming love I'd feel for this tiny little being and that there is a magical 12 weeks when you finally feel you know what you are doing.

It also passes in a heartbeat so savour it all. My DD is almost 2 and I'm doing it all again. Being a mum is the best!

i wish someone had given me a copy of the BabyWhisperer and Supernanny books before I had dd, combined they both helped a lot once i finally discovered them.

ignore any midwives/family/friends/hv that you don't agree with. it's your child do it your way.

take big loose shoes to wear in hospital and leave the hospital in, your feet will swell to a stupid size after the birth. Doesn't last long.

if you can get a parking pass from the hospital so dp/dh/birthing partner isn't stressing about paying for car parking. If not possible put bags of change in the car ready.

Finally, expect your little one to change their routine just as you realise they have one but don't expect them to tell you you're supposed to be a mind reader.

I wish I had realised that I needed to slow down and enjoy the first few months as well as surviving them. I spent a lot of time thinking "next time I'll know XXX" and it never really occurred to me that there might not be a next time. In actual fact there has been another child for me but for a long time it looked like it might not happen. I wish I had had the sense to realise that and to treasure DD1's babyhood more, instead of treating her like a problem to be solved ("if I stop her sleeping after 2pm, maybe she'll sleep better, if I do this maybe she'll have longer naps" etc etc).

And I wish I had realised right away that there is no "right way" to bring up a baby. There are mostly shades of grey and as long as you are not some sort of deviant you are going to do fine.

Nobody warned me that when the head crowns, it feels like a bunsen burner on your lips!! ( it only lasts a few minutes, whilst the head pops out)I wasn't expecting that feeling, and it freaked me out a bit. Thought I had split in half, but didn't have any tear or stitches?
Nobody told me how much I would poo, I did about four, and could smell them! Don't hold it in though - I tried, and it slowed everything down. Just go with the flow!!
Also, I can't stress how much you should rest before. I was frantic up until the last minute, cleaning, shopping, everything. God how I wish I had chilled and rested!!
Also, a birth plan, doesn't always go to plan. My plans didn't even get a look in - It happened so quick didn't even get time to ask for pain relief!

ooh yes LITR cuddling a screaming, crying baby is not leaving a baby to cry.

Drink a lot of water when your pg, drink a lot of water in labour and drink a lot of water when you're breastfeeding.

You might go MENTALLY protective for a few weeks, but it;'s normal nd settles down.