3rd pregnancy, fecal incontinence, feeling horrible and scared....

[misswyoming]

I had a 3rd degree tear with dc1, a vaginal birth with 2nd degree tear with dc2, and am now 31 weeks pregnant with dc3.

I have been suffering with terrible wind, and today lost control of my bowels. It was horrible, I had no sensation that I was going to poo, and could not stop.

I haven't really had any incontinence issues since having dc1 (4 years ago), apart from the first couple of weeks after giving birth.

I have never been internally examined to make sure everything healed properly, and am now panicking that something is wrong, and I will be left incontinent after having dc3.

I have been told by my consultant that the hospital don't do elcs for people who have had 3rd degree tears, and today has left me terrified of what could happen if I sustain another tear.

Has anybody else had any similar issues - I am feeling really low.

thankyou

Thankyou oldmum and dinahrod, I got the feeling that the consultant had to try as hard as she could to dissuade me from having a c-section, but something I said made her realise I wasn't taking the decision lightly.

"Most cases of incontinence postmenopausally are as a result of childbirth." - that is quite horrifying.

Glad you've got your ELCS agreed now, I hope it all goes well and you get to talk to someone about some post-birth repair. Well done for fighting your corner with the consultant - it sounds like it was hard work.

Hazeyjane - Fantastic that you were able to hold it together to argue back with the consultant. They do come across as 'The Expert' sometimes in such a way that it is hard to talk, let alone on something so personal and emotional. It's only when you read up about other consultant's or research you see that opinions actually differ widely.

It is great that your elcs is agreed (there is a thread on 'childbirth' for those of us who have chosen an elcs after a traumatic birth so pop in if it would help). I think given your symptoms and understandable fears you are being wise. I am also scared my elcs could go wrong, but I think it so much less likely than another vb going wrong. I know my pelvic floor is more protected by an elcs and I know my bladder is at no more risk. I know my bowel muscles are safer with an elcs too.

I hope the colorectal consultants are really useful and approachable. I am certain they see a lot of women who have torn in childbirth and have issues either immediately or later on. Please do keep pushing them to get great care for yourself if people don't seem to be taking it seriously.

You are doing fantastically well to be managing this while pregnant, it's tough enough with the normal range of physical side effects without the complications of incontinence and the emotional pain that goes with it.

Hazeyjane just wanted to add that a cs isn't necessarily an appalling operation to be had. Whilst I am lucky enough to not be experiencing any of your injuries - I did want to set your mind at rest re the CS.

Mine was emergency not elective and even then I healed and was up and about FAR quicker than my firend who had 2nd degree tear.

I took arnica religiously before and after operation. Make sure you read up about some of the downsides so you are prepared - milk often takes longer to come in for example which can be challenging in the short term.

But good luck and I hope you managed to get your raggedy bits sorted in the long term

Thankyou for the advice about Arnica Immypants, and for the elcs thread link Lovethesea.

I saw the mw today, and she was fantastic, booked me in to see a physio to talk about continece issues and sorted out an appointment to see a consultant 3 months post birth to talk about repairs etc.

Glad you had a good appointment - makes such a difference when someone listens and plans proper meetings to DO something about it all.

Once you get to see consultants, registrars, physios, nurses etc in the specialist areas (for me urogynae, probably colo-rectal for you perhaps?) you get such a different response. No horror, no big drama, lots of options based on what they deal with day in and day out. You don't feel 'normal' but I felt a lot less hopeless than I did when only talking to general midwives on the topic.

Oh you poor love, hj - I really feel for you. Just wanted to say, don't worry about the elective - I've had 3, due to have a 4th in dec, and they've been fine. In fact, after the last one, I was stepping in and out of my bath as soon as I got home on day 3.
Best of luck with it all - I know nothing about the FI side of things, but if there's anything you want to know about cs's, let me know!

am pregnant and in similar situation, i would love if you could update. Did u go on to have the vaginal birth and how are the symptoms now. I hope you are feeling better