Recent meeting with friend who is also pregnant, and we didn't talk about it once

[MadameCheese]

It was a party she was hosting, so there were other things for her to think about. She is 25 weeks and I'm 20 weeks, you'd have thought it might have been a topic of conversation. She has placenta praevia and I have been told not to ask her about how things are going because she doesn't want to talk about it. Seemingly there is also no question of her asking me how I'm faring. It was just all a bit awkward and weird. It's a shame, you'd have thought we could support each other but I do respect her wishes. Should I just get over it?

Seems rather bizarre. PP is awkward and may lead to a cs but unless I'm mistaken, not a reason to ignore own pregnancy, never mind anyone elses!
Stick with MN and leave her to it

That is v. weird.

Sounds a but weird to me, who told you not to ask her anything about pregnancy? It may not be something she wants to talk about in a large group but sure she could have spent a few mins asking you how you are doing?

Also a lot of women have low lying placenta which is often detected at 20 week scan (including me) and in 95% of cases it moves up (am still waiting to see if mine has will find out in 2 weeks at 34 week scan). I know for a few women it can be horrid later on in pregnany and there maybe something else going on we dont know about buy .

If she is a very good friend I would be tempted to give her a call to check everything ok and show your concern, if more of an acquaintance then would leave it.

Well, as you say, she may have been faffing around doing the hosting thing, but I would suspect she's very anxious about it and would find it difficult to act 'normal', particularly in such a public situation. Could she be more upset than perhaps you first thought?

I think this is the first time in history this has ever happened.

No. Really.

trying to think more widely, could there have been someone at the party who she was trying not to upset? I'm extremely excited about being pregnant and love discussing it with my pregnant friend, but might have considered suggesting we avoid discussing our pregnancies(although possibly not totally) if there was someone at the party for whom it was a sensitive issue (e.g. due to their fertility problems or recent miscarriage or similar)

But otherwise it does seem very strange and I wonder if there is a deeper problem? I guess if there is something upsetting her about the pregnancy then I can see that it would be easier to not discuss it in a situation where she needed to keep her composure, as others has said.

sounds perfectly sensible to me. bored rigid of talking about pregnancy, mine or anyone elses - there are plenty of other things going on!

Sorry I am with your friend on this, it might be that there are other more significant risk factors too she doesn't want to talk about.

My close friend was pregnant and didn't want to talk about it other than that she was having a ELCS, we all thought it was weird, esp as she wouldn't say how many weeks she was. She had an ELCS at 32 weeks with identical twins who shared a sac with no dividing membrane - she was told the pregnancy was extremely risky hence reason for not talking about it.

She is the one who said she didn't want to talk about it, following her 20 week scan. Up until that point I was texting her to see how she was getting on. I don't feel I can do that anymore, as it would be going against her wishes. If this is her way of coping with it then that is fine with me, it just seems a bit sad. I have to also suppose that we are perhaps not as close as I thought.

I don't think it necessarily means that you're not as close as you thought.

It may just be that on this issue, for whatever reason, this is how she has to cope.

there have been times when I haven't shared, even with my closest friends, things I was going through. Maybe because I wasn't able to verbalise how I felt, or because it seemed easier just to not talk about it for a while until I got my head round it.

But I can see that you will miss being able to discuss that with her, as I love having a friend who is at a similar stage of pregnancy to me. I would respect her wishes and try and understand there may be complex reasons behind them, rather than taking it personally, and then hopefully when she feels ready to talk again you will be able to enjoy sharing the experience again (although perhaps this may not be until after your children are born now)

My pregnancy was complicated and stressful, and the worst bit was having to tell people over and over again about the latest development when they asked - it won't be just you who is asking her, it will be at least twenty people. In the end I just lied and said everything was fine when people asked as otherwise I would have been breaking down in tears every day.

Don't take it personally, she is probably just really stressed and once the baby arrives safely she'll be back to normal

Thank you ladies. I do take your point tiredfeet. GTPS only a very few people know as she doesn't want it to be common knowledge and I can see the reason for that now . I'm over analyzing as per usual