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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

TMI? Sex and pregancy...

39 replies

legallyblond · 11/05/2010 18:44

Right - this thread is going to be TMI - sorry - I can't ask anyone in RL!

So all the way throught my pregnancy so far I have been up for sex as usual (no real increase or decrease in sex drive).

Now, at 20+ weeks, I am still up for it but I am wondering if our usual position (basically missionary - me on my back, DH on top... God, can't beleive I am writing this ), while still do-able, is starting to feel a bit, well, "squashed" like he is really too heavy for the bump.

When do you all think/when did you find that sex with you on your back and your partner on top became undo-able during pregnancy? Is it dangerous for the baby to be "squished" at all?

Should we change position and if so (), what position is do-able now and in later pregnancy? Spooning?

Eeek... sorry for posting this!

OP posts:

Missus84 · 11/05/2010 18:49

You're not supposed to spend too much time on your back from 4 months - should try to sleep on your side too - as it can constrict the blood vessels to the baby.

Missionary is ok for quickies though I think, so long as your DH keeps his weight off you. Otherwise spooning or doggy style.

MadameCheese · 11/05/2010 18:54

Don't be embarrassed . You on top?

reikizen · 11/05/2010 18:59

The danger of lying on your back is mainly that your blood pressure will drop and you will feel sick and faint, although there is a slight risk that the blood supply to baby will be cut of you will feel odd before this happens. No danger of the baby being squished at all.
Spooning & you on top are do-able right til the end (as I know from attempts to bring on labour with both dds!) Doggy style is also good.

Original poster

legallyblond · 11/05/2010 19:05

God, Mumsnet is great... how else would I ask this and find the answer?!

OP posts:

beanlet · 11/05/2010 20:46

I'm nearly 8 months and we managed to have sex the other day in a kind of semi-missionary position with DH angled off to the side of the bump so he didn't squash it -- actually, there's no way he would have been able to get near me IYSWIM if he had been on top of the bump

Being on your back for 10-30 mins while you're ahem you-know-whatting -- is not going to be a danger to you. It's just not advisable as a sleeping position.

mandyj9999 · 12/05/2010 09:35

ok at 9 months i was still having sex with my hubbie, and what i found most comfortable was leaning over the sofa (not the most attractive on my behalf lol) but it felt good that way and comfortable, although.. just be careful i had a bleed at 37 weeks after sex.. ended up at a+e .. completely mortified!!! it was totally normal and nothing to worry about but they had to keep me in for the night to be sure and i missed the footie the next day. rage! gave us quite a fright, but im told its very common. they even asked me what position we were doing it in!! ahhhh!!!! (umm over the sofa doctor) nice!but sex does help bring on the baby too, i had her a week later! woohoo!

Bluesunday · 12/05/2010 09:47

Angle yourself with lots of cushions so you're not flat on your back, and DH on knees so no pressure on your bump? Does that make sense..? It would be easier if I could draw you a diagram . This is the only way I feel comfortable, my arse is the size of two mountains, there's no way DP is getting a view of that doggy-style...

mandyj9999 · 12/05/2010 09:48

haha, lights off please! mine was the size of 3! x

VeronicaCake · 12/05/2010 11:50

If this is TMI I apologise, but we have found the only do-able position at 40 weeks is me on my back with my bum on a pillow or two and DH kneeling into me with my legs clasped round his back. It does mean a little bit of pressure on my tummy, but not enough to feel uncomfortable. DH is tall and thin though, if he had a bigger belly or was less flexible this position wouldn't work.

We've never figured out the spooning style the pregnancy books recommend (probably because I am nearly a foot shorter than DH), and whilst me on top is our usual preference I haven't wanted it throughout pregnancy because the penetration is too deep and hard to control. Doggy style does work, but I find it a bit upsetting and impersonal and prefer being able to see DH's face.

So I guess the answer is experiment, and don't worry too much about doing it the right way. Only you and your DH will know if it is working.

WickedWitchSouthWest · 12/05/2010 16:07

At the stage you're at, you on top is probably best. I'm 33+2 now and we're still managing me on top comfortably, spooning is ok but not great and we haven't resorted to doggy style yet, mostly coz I think dh is enjoying the view still

I agree with Veronica tho, experimenting is the only way to find what works for you

glasgowmandy · 12/05/2010 16:26

exactly, and if you aint comfortable with whatever hes doing, do it yourself! lol x

nunnie · 12/05/2010 16:32

30 mins I wish my ahem lasted 30 mins.

Spooning and doggy, but prefered spooning to be honest, doggy isn't a style I like anyway so might be why I didn't like it in pregnancy.

Also found on top was easier than I expected it to be, so we mixed and matched between spooning and me on top later in to pregnancy.

WickedWitchSouthWest · 12/05/2010 18:59

Also if you feel a bit odd about having the bump "watching" you (I know we did in the very late stages with dd) then you can still be on top but just turn the other way round

ande · 12/05/2010 19:07

I can't believe I'm typing this, but it does make me grin

As though you are sitting on the sofa, but very far forward, cushions for comfort behind your back and DH kneeling on the floor ifyswim.

ande · 12/05/2010 19:08

i'm 37+3 btw

nunnie · 12/05/2010 19:45

I am not a fan of the reversed cowgirl, always look down and think someone has chopped dh's head off however I can see why it might be better latter bump stage, might try that myself

WickedWitchSouthWest · 12/05/2010 21:41

nunnie! I'd never thought of it like that!

seasister · 13/05/2010 08:38

So didn't noone's sex drive diminish in the first trimester? I really like sex and we had it regularly but at the moment 9+5, I can really take it or leave it. I know I've been nauseous and tired but libido feels flat too. Does it return?

glasgowmandy · 13/05/2010 08:40

it definatley does, wait till your 2nd trimester and you will be pulling the pants off him, i couldnt get enough, you almost get this huge burst of energy that you lack in the first trim, at least thats what happened to me, poor hubby was walking like a donkey for a good while hahaha x

WickedWitchSouthWest · 13/05/2010 08:58

ditto Mandy! Still pretty rampant now, but I really wasn't when pg with my dd so it's true what they say, every pregnancy is different

nunnie · 13/05/2010 09:41

I didn't fancy it in the first trimester with DD (nor did DH tbh), but by 15/16 weeks he didn't get a choice, he walked in a room and I ponuced.
This time I am just 16 weeks and starting to feel it slowly returning, think DH is prepared this time though .

seasister · 13/05/2010 10:00

Ha ha, this thread is hilarious - I think I might have to cut and paste it for DP just to get him revved up for trimester 2

Pippaandpolly · 13/05/2010 10:07

My DH asked me last night whether it was safe for us to have sex as the baby would get covered in his you know what...

I laughed for about 5 minutes before I saw his hurt face . Bless him!

glasgowmandy · 13/05/2010 10:08

hahaha, i loved the 2nd trimester and hubby couldnt believe his luck. i had him tied up a few times im sure, thought.. just leave him there for now, get him again in half an hour. lol, although beware of the 3rd triemster! i lost it for a bit! was kinda like.. "dont you DARE touch me! YOU did this to me.. BASTARD!!! lol x

nunnie · 13/05/2010 10:58

My horniness stayed from 2nd trimester until well I found I was pregnant with this one. I will say it did diminish for about 3 months after having DD but came back.

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