Ouch! Should perineal massage hurt??!

[MrsGravy]

Ok, I'm 36 weeks pregnant with my 3rd child. I tore with the other 2 - not really badly but I did need stitches. I thought I'd have a crack (smirk) at perineal massage this time round. I've tried it last night and this afternoon and it bloody well hurts!! I can get to the 'insert thumbs' stage but applying any pressure on to my perineum is really burny and painful. Surely I should be a bit more stretchy after 2 kids??! According to the instructions I've see on the web, I should be pushing down on to the perineum with my thumbs and then sort of rubbing gently. I can't manage any of that! Am I doing it wrong or will I be able to do more the more I do it?

Yes, it will feel burny and slightly painful. But you sill have some scar tissue there so go easily and stop if it goes from burning to painful would be my advice. The idea is not that it is as loose as an old sweater sleeve but that it becomes more stretchy with practice.

at 'old sweater sleeve', I suppose I wouldn't want my lady bits to resemble that!

Thanks reikizen, I'll keep trying gently. Hopefully I'll feel some improvement before too long.

I'm finding it rather uncomfortable.

Not sure how much of that is psychological blockage about what it represents... plus knowing that DH will want a "reward" for his helping... not that I mind "rewarding" him, just don't like the idea that one thing has to lead to another. I simply can't reach around to do it myself so rather rely on him.

Are you using oil? Please don't use a massage one. Almond or olive will be ok.

Use a 'sweeping' motion - firm but not too hard. Do after a warm bath and when you are relaxed.

Shipsladyg - I'm managing it myself at the moment. I wouldn't be much in the mood for 'rewarding' DH right now either!!

georgiemum, I'm using olive oil. I'll try it after a bath tonight and see if that helps.

Thanks both!

Try to relax. I know it's not easy but it's worth it!

I think coconut oil is the traditional one to use. A bit greasy though.

How are you doing this? Have you got an extra vertebrae or something? I couldn't get near mine, especially at 36 weeks.

I'm a first-timer so don't have any scar tissue there (yet) but I found it ouchy for about the first 3-4 goes and then it became much easier. Not sure if this was the tissue stretching or whether it was primarily psychological. It isn't comfortable exactly, but it doesn't sting or make me wince or anything. So I guess keep at it but gently and it should get easier.

Madamecheese - I must have big long monkey arms!!! I seem able to reach mine in any position.

Thanks VeronicaCake, I'll definitely keep gently trying.

I bought wheatgerm oil from holland and barret last time.

It is quite burny, that's why they call it the ring of fire when the baby's born! I found it uncomfortable last time but haven't started this time but I guess scar tissue will make it more uncomfortable although I didn't have any stitches so fingers crossed.