Is pregnancy wrong time to have a career crisis?

[yellowflowers]

Hi everyone,

I am nearly 9 weeks pregnant so if all goes well (everything crossed!) will stop work towards end of year and have a year away from it all.

Thing is, and maybe it's hormonal, I have just realised today that I don't like my career or job and want complete change.

At the moment I am quite successful in what other perceive to be quite a glamorous career. Don't want to say what in case any friends on here guess who I am as it's quite unusual. But I get to work from home a lot and be intellectually stimulated and have very flexible working hours and sometimes feel like I make a difference to the world.

So why do I want to give it all up and do something else? I know returning to work post baby in a sense is a good time to start something new but also a bad time as it would be stressful and also I would only want to be part time.

I guess I should use maternity leave as time to retrain or get some new skills or re-evaluate what I want. Hmmmm - no idea where to start really (please no life coach suggestions!). I think all my plans basically involve setting up my own business which probably isn't a great idea at this stage of life.

Not really sure there are answers - just wanted to rant and wondered if anyone else feels the same?

Kind of.

My job is really flexible, very family friendly, well paid, secure, good pension etc etc.

But I hate it.

I went back to it after M/L though, as the most important thing to me right now is spending time with DD and soon to be DC2 and staying in this one means we can live comfortably with DD in childcare for only 15 hours a week.

I'm happy to coast in my career for the time being if it means I get to spend most of my time with my children. But it is a trade off, as my job just isn't fulfilling at all.

It's really up to you, but I wouldn't try to make too many decisions until you know how you feel about being with your DC.

(congratulations btw!)

Hi

I just want to say I feel exactly the same. I've had a somewhat succesful career at a company who have invested a lot of time and money in me. It is also quite a respected profession... but I know it isn't for me. I'm going to take a year off on maternity leave and see how I feel but like you I am probably looking to retrain.

I feel my main reason is I don't feel my career rewards me emotionally and I'd much rather do something worthwhile, which would also probably no doubt pay me less money.

So sorry no answers but yes I feel the same!

Just a reminder that if money is an issue, and you don't return to work after maternity leave, you have to pay back the non-statutory portion of your ML pay.

good thought beanlet - I will def return for a few months to make sure that doesn't happen.

I guess it;s inevitable that a time of such changes makes you think about other changes. Part of mine is I dislike my boss but she will retire in a few years - who knows, maybe before I go back even!

I think actually it's a classic time to have a reevaluation. I finished my contract at work in a similarly prestigious, hard-won, competitive field just after my first maternity leave ended. I now have another baby on the way and absolutely no idea what to do next, except that it isn't what I have devoted my life to for the last 15 years! At the moment I'm fine with that, but do bear in mind that it's seriously discombobulating to suddenly lose the career identity that you've had for your entire adult life! If there's any way you can carry on in your job (ie go back after mat leave) until you are well on the way to finding another path, so to speak, that is probably the ideal. That wasn't an option for me, and I wish it had been!

Hi Yellowflowers - Try to hang on for a bit! I think hormones have a lot to answer for and you're right - its a classic time to start thinking about careers etc. I would say though, that you might find it all changes again post baby/ML. I gave up my job after a year of working p-t after dd was born and went to work with my DH in his business because I wanted a change. We both found that running our own business with a small child was really difficult. It totally flunked on me and I have gone back to my incredibly stable career. Of course, it could be really different for you but there is a lot to be said for the respect and money that comes with a career you have had for a long time.
I do obviously understand that lots of people make being self employed work and do have career changes (DH for one!) but thought I'd give you my experience.

Oh and I am so glad you are still around if you know what I mean!!

thanks flintski - me tooo!!! Two and a bit weeks until scan. Am starting to get very nervous. How are you?

Beanlet, Yellowflowers - you don't necessarily have to pay back non-stat maternity pay if you don't return. It depends on your contract of employment so you should check this. For me, there are no conditions attached to my maternity pay and so if I decide not to come back to work, I don't have to pay them a penny.

Yellowflowers

As the others have said I think its a perfectly normal time of life to be having a career crisis. My one piece of advice would be not to pressure yourself to make any decisions until after your little one has arrived. You have no idea how you'll feel - you might totally surprise yourself and want to be a SAHM for a few years. Just enjoy the remainder of your child-free working months and the rest of your pregnancy!

Oh God, I always feel like this and in fact often go for interviews whilst on maternity leave.
Now is probably not the time to change though. I would advise taking time to think about what you might want, then go back to your existing job after leave and change from there once you've got your work brain switched back on.

am fine - got my second scan on thursday - time is flying. hope the next two weeks go super fast for you!