Don't suppose anyone feels like answering a first timer's silly questions...?

[dappymoo]

If you can be bothered, thank you so much! I know I'm probably like every first time mum but sometimes you just don't know who to ask...

1. I think that size during pregnancy varies quite a lot, can you reassure me of this at all? Most people say to me I look big (is this an insult? I feel kind of insulted...) but then others have said I've nothing compared to so-and-so....

2. At 20 wks I will have had a booking appt, tests and two scans at the hosp. Will my midwife tell me what appts to make next or do I need to be assertive? I haven't actually met my midwife yet (she was away for booking)

3. If someone was "big" for their dates, what could that mean? A big baby/ fibroids/ just extra weight? None of this would really bother me as long as LO was ok...

4. OK now this is a really weird question! But does your baby/womb kind of move around as you do? I'm assuming this is normal but I do find it weird! e.g. LO seems to like right side but after I've turned over he/she moves over as well, gravity?? Seriously is there that much room in there that they can do that?

If you're still reading thank you so much, I must sound like an idiot but I just don't know some of these things and can't help but worry! Thanks for any help

and if someone can teach me to count too that'd be great

Hello.

Congrats on your pregnancy. Are you new to MN?

1)Only rude people say that you look big. More polite folk say you are blooming. Kick them in the shins

2. No idea, had my DC in Germany, but someone will know

3. Friend was told she was big (ie. the baby was big) and it her DS was normal. Not always true. Have you been told that you are big, from whom?

4. 4. You cannot count Yes, baby can flip about a bit, not much longer though. Once they get to a certain size they find it more difficult to do somersaults

Ask away, that is the great thing about MN.

1), ignore what other people say about your size; only the measurements taken by your midwife/doctor are relevant. If your doctor isn't worried, then there is no need for you to be worried - and tell people who comment that the doctor says your size is fine.

2). Be assertive- I've heard of women not getting the appointments they need.

3). If the doctor/midwife says you are big for dates, then ask exactly what they mean. It could be too much fluid (sometimes a problem sometimes not a problem); big baby or just fat. Or it could just be normal for you personally and not a problem.

4).gravity and your position will influence the baby's position - walking and going on your hands and knees are good for the position of the baby.

1. Size of bump varies, to do with position of the baby, size, how much fluid, the state of your tummy muscles, your height etc etc etc.. people will comment regardless, ' oooh, you're enoooormous' ' oooooh, you're so tiny'

your MW will let yuo know if when she palpates and measures fundal height, you really are too big/too small for dates

2. your MW should tell you when you next need an appointment, you should have a list possibly of when you have the appts with your handlheld notes or other NHS infor

3. big for dates would imply there was a bigger than expected baby or more fluid than to be expected .. if you are truly 'big for dates' your MW might refer you for some growth scans/extra monitoring.. sometimes it can indicate an issue such as gestational diabetes, for which again, you would be referred for more tests

4. your baby sort of floats in the amniotic fluid, so i don't think is subject to usual rules of gravity, but i might be wrong ! your womb is anchored in with ligaments etc.. but it obviously gets bigger and grows with the baby and some babies do favour one side. once they get bigger heavier and you are getting to the last part of pregnancy, and the baby is head down, you're baby won't flip about esepcially once the head is engaged/partially engaged but whilst still little they can really bounce around

hope that helps a bit !!

1. yes bumps vary hugely - also what people think bump size should be also varies. I think people tell you you look big meaning that you are coming along nicely/look healthy or just for something to say. It is not meant to be an insult.

2. The front of your yellow maternity notes should tell you when you should have appts. front page - 2 charts one for first time one for subsequent. Plus at each visit midwife tends to tell you when she expects to see you next.

3)When you say big for your dates who said? If you were told at a scan then they could be referring to the baby - in which case they would probably record a different due date (depending on what size the baby measure). If it was someone measuring you (e.g. doctor or midwife) it could mean that you have lots of fluid or you have just expanded quickly. If anyone else - ignore them.

4. Yes that is normal.

Wow thank you for your kind responses!
Thank you for congrats, I'm not too new to MN but perhaps due to an imminent scan (thurs) am having a panic this week.

It's hard not to take things people say to heart, it's only friends/ colleagues commenting on size really, doctor thought I looked big but on measuring said it's normal. I do tend to carry weight around my middle and get a lot of water retention etc, but am wondering if the scan will show up anything... like that my fibroid has grown at same rate as the baby or something! GD wouldn't be fun I'm sure.
Bump does go up and down a lot too according to what I've eaten (tmi!) what I'm wearing etc.

Mostly I like having a decent bump as it's kind of reassuring, but as a bit of a worrier I do wonder!
Of all the lovely things people say to me I don't know why I hang on to the "you're big" comments!!

Also I haven't been "seen" by anyone for two months and perhaps a lot can change!

Ah, don't worry about it. I am sure you are just fine.

A friend had a tiny wee bump. Hardly noticeable even at 34 weeks. So many people commented on it, and made her so worried that she did not enjoy her pregnancy. Her baby was perfectly normal sized.