Should I be feeling guilty.....

[matilda73]

I'm 29 weeks and decided I couldn't carry on feeling as crap as I have done for the last month: the thought of trying to struggle through another 8 weeks at work is filling me with dread. I'm knackered, breathless, nauseous all the time and have no energy or ability to concentrate. So I saw my GP this morning and got checked for anaemia and as it turns out my BP is 159/97, so he wants me back in tomorrow for another check up. He seemed to think it was fine to carry on at work but I've decided I'm having today and tomorrow off, and now I feel guilty about it.... What is it with trying to please everybody!

Oh blimey no don't feel guilty! It is not just up to the gp to decide if you feel well enough! You do not need a gp cert for the first 7 days, although more than 3 (i think?) you will need to self cert. If you are feeling terrible, you need to rest , and afaik all the suggestions for lowering bp is rest.

Take the time off, chill out and enjoy it. If you have a garden grab some rays.

No you shouldn't feel guilty

Work will manage without you but the baby needs you to be ok and it sounds like you could really do with a rest. Maybe GP thinks you want to carry on at work and would sign you off if you tell him how bad you're feeling? Wishing you better.

I gave up work with dc2 at 6 months because I was not able to cope. The best thing to do is to give your work as much notice as you possibly can (maybe try to work another week) just so that they can get cover. Pregnancy is stressful enough without having to worry aout blood pressure AND work. Every pregnancy is different and you should do what is best for you and your unborn baby! You come first!

Thanks everybody, it feels good to have a bit of moral support. Part of the problem is that I work as a consultant in the NHS where everyone has a keep soldiering on attitude- I told a colleague I was tired and she said " Yes, I remember being too tired to keep cycling 9 miles to work at 39 weeks" I don't think she was trying to be unsupportive, I think it just comes naturally! So I feel bad for letting the side down but I definitely need to prioritise the baby!

Absolutely I felt great with dc1 and worked until my due date. dc2 I felt ok until 5 months and then struggled with my last month. Luckily I don't have to work with this one.

You have definitely got to put yourself and the baby first. Just put it down to doctors orders! They cant argue with that!

Hope you feel better soon

I had a significant amount of time off work due to HG, probably around 3-4 months in total. OH got involved and helped me get back on reduced hours. I felt guilty, very guilty that i was letting the side down, and i struggled in on some days when I really should not have. At the beginning i was going in, fearing people would just think 'oh its a bit of morning sickness' until i went to the gp to see if anything could be taken, and he was ready to admit me to hosp as I had ketones in my urine, and promptly signed me off for 2 weeks.

Then, one day, after another bout of absence, a friend/colleague told me she had overheard some of my colleagues having a bitch about how slack i was, about it just being morning sickness, and its my second pg should be used to it by now, how unfair it was that they had to carry the can etc, and I thought sod it, if they think that even when I haul my ass in despite feeling terrible, if they really do not have any sympathy or understanding that I am really bloody trying, then i would stop trying. From then on, i went to work when i was able.

I hope you are enjoying having a lazy day doing not very much, and really really try not to feel bad.