Worried about who will take care of DS

[tjtheminx]

Hi
I'm not normally a worrier but in a real tizz about this.

In brief, we are living in the US ( have been here for 18 months- so don't know anyone really well) and DS1 is 3. I am 30 weeks.
All our close family etc are in Ireland and the UK. My or DHs parents coming to stay for a few weeks not an option.

I'm really starting to worry about who will take care of DS when the baby is being born.

Here are the options I've thought about:

1. I have distant relatives not too far from here, they are a couple in their 60s, not really baby people but would do it if I asked. I would prefer if they stayed in our house overnight rather than at theirs but that's unlikely.

1. My best friend here would definitely oblige but she is not from here either and is often away visiting family - so I don't want her to be stuck waiting for me to give birth IYKWIM. Also, she has 3 under 3 herself and is already busy enough.

1. We have a babysitter but have only used her twice. DS knows her and loves her from the nursery. I thought about paying her to stay the night if neccessary.She doesn't drive herself and lives 20 mins away.Again though I don't want to have to have her "on-call"

1. I really like our neighbours down the street and they have a DD same age as our DS but my DH thinks we don't know them well enough to ask. ( I think they would be trustworthy but now that DH has brought it up I'm not so sure)

1. I know this will sound stupid but do you think I could ask to be induced so that I can have the baby while DS is at creche???

( It looks even more stupid written down!!)

Anyone have any suggestions?
Thanks

Distant relatives I'd say no to.

Best friend - if she is anything like me she would be offended if you considered anything else.

Babysitter - Could you pay for her to be CRB checked?

Neighbours - Again unsure, but as a last resort I'm sure would be fine.

Creche, as you say silly idea. Even if you were induced there is no guarentee labour would start straight away.

I'd go with the best friend and have babysitter as back up, preferably CRB checked.

Creche is a good idea, if you can get an induction, although you will still be in labour most likely when creche closes.

i have found all my (non family) babysitters through the kids nursery/preschool, as you know that all staff there are CRB checked (or the american equivelent) and your child will know them.

babysitter might be a good idea, you havent got many choices as you are most likely to go into labour at the most innconvinient time!!

neighbours are a good idea, in emergency circumstances, like middle of the night or similar, i remember when i was 15 or so and my next door neighbour (who i really didnt know terribly well) went into labour with her 4th and she needed someone to look after the kids until her parents were able to get down.

I'd ask both your best friend and the babysitter from the nursery...then use which ever is appropriate/convenient at the time.

I'd also have a word with your neighbour, perhaps use her as immediate help while waiting on one of the others to arrive, or if needed in the middle of the night.

Thanks,
Good idea to ask more than one person ( baby brain, didn't think of giving myself options )

I'm sure the babysitter is CRB checked ( or the american equivalent)The main issue with her is that it would take 40 mins there and back to go get her.

I have real problems asking for help (for anything) [my mother complains I'm just like my dad on this!] But need help this time.

Thanks again

Oh yes,
just remembered my rationale for an induction. At least then we would know DS2 was on the way and DH would have time to get DS organised.

I have unbelievably bad baby brain, but that's a totally other thread

I had this problem!
It was so stressful to think about
To the point of my health visitor actually mentioning induction.
Luckily my sister was able to take 2 weeks off work and stay with me and luckily I gave birth in that time.

What about DP if you have one??

I'm sure anyone would oblige to being on call given the situation.

It turned out in my case that I only needed an hour or so of childcare. My son (age 3) was in the same room untill I was in very later labour and he started annoying me.
Then he ran back in 5 minutes after DS2 was born!

Why doesn't your DH look after DS while you're having the baby? We're due in November and that's what we're planning to do.

octavia and mumtotwo if it's an uncomplicated birth I have no problem with DH staying with DS1

Won't the Yanks think I'm mad though? Don't they usually have everyone including the postman in the delivery room?

how much would a taxi cost for your babysitter? That is preferable to someone going to collect her when you go into labour?

Also, explain clearly to your son what "might" happen! Imagine he wakes up in the morning, and you and DH have gone, and a neighbour is in the house looking after him!

how far are you from the hospital? DH could look after him until you are close to delivering, then dash off to the hospital to be with you?

if your neighbours are nice go and ask them over a cutp tea or whatever. if they want to be friends with you i bet they would be really honoured/understanding - if they are wierd about it i guess ask everyone else

vmcd28, cat64 and suntangirl I think I may have a solution.
The neighbours really are lovely, we've been over to theirs for drinks and they've been to ours. Even though I haven't spent much time with them they both seem to be on our wavelength! I'll invite them over for lunch next weekend.

TBH DH was not very useful at DS1s birth anyhow and we are 15 mins (20 at worst) from the hospital. We both work there so have a parking space so he won't be driving around looking for parking.

How about DH and DS come with me when I am admitted then I ( or midwife or whatever) calls him an hour or so before the delivery?

And I'll keep the babysitter in reserve in case it's likely to be middle of night?

Thanks