Illogical worrying? Just so overwhelmed

[dappymoo]

That says it all really, for the last couple of days I've just been stupidly worried, and I feel sorry saying it to anyone as I don't have any real reason.

My other half and I were stuck in Asia for 9 days after our holiday because of the whole volcano thing and we spent day after day getting up at the crack of dawn and queueing at the airport for hours to try and get home. Spent most of the time standing or sat on the cold floor which wasn't ideal, although at only 4 months I wasn't too worried.
I also hardly ate anything of nutritional value as I just couldn't stomach much, and the heat was getting to me too. Added to that my boyfriend had a "medical issue" so we spent a while in hospitals and we've both been really stressed.

ANYWAY, I am so glad to be back and comfortable, but now it's hit me that my body is absolutely exhausted and I feel awful. Just shattered. And I can't help worrying if anything has happened to that poor little mite inside me? I even let someone talk me into some wine while we were away as I was so stressed, I said I never would!
It's stupid in a way as over the last few weeks I have managed to grow a rather obvious round bump, so that must mean he/she is definitely growing, right? That's the only thing that is giving me any comfort, although my worrying brain is saying that it could just be constipation or my fibroid growing...

I feel like I totally ignored that poor little thing for a while and was totally irresponsible and now every time I see our scan picture I cry!

Someone slap me!! Why can I not just relax? I have 3 weeks til next scan, was desperate to have a reassurance private scan after holiday but thanks to that volcano my credit card is maxed out now so I have to wait....

hi dappymoo

god that must have been awful!

dont feel guilty you did the best you could have in the situation, and the wine would not have done any harm....im sure your just extra paraniod like i have been and not drank any and now you feel awful about it, but a few glasses surley wouldnt have done any harm?.... babies are very resilient and im sure everything will be ok at your next scan

and you have definatly not ignored your baby so please dont be upset everytime you look at its little picture

just relax now your home and get a few healthy british meals down you!

sending you hugs xx

Please don't worry. Bodies (yours) and babies are very resilient.

I'm only a few weeks ahead of you and have been through a very dramatic experience recently. At the time it was almost as if I forgot I was pregnant and I certainly didn't notice my symptoms.

Now I'm mega tired and feel very stressed most of the time. Like you, the comfort is that bump is getting bigger.

Please don't worry about the wine either.

That sounds like a really stressful and unpleasant experience, poor you!

The odd glass of wine and a couple of weeks - or longer - of poor nutrition are not going to hurt your baby. The foetus is a very effective parasite and it will look after itself! The baby will be absolutely fine.

It sounds to me as though you went through a difficult time and had to keep your spirits up during that time, but now, naturally, you are feeling the after-effects of the stress and anxiety. You are bound to feel tired and weepy and you need to rest and look after yourself. You do have a 'real reason' to be feeling upset (though no need to feel guilty about your baby), and you don't deserve a slap! You deserve sympathy and to put your feet up as much as possible, and not to feel guilty about a perfectly natural reaction to stress. But you should put your mind at rest about the baby - you were not irresponsible, you were doing your best in a difficult situation and it sounds to me as though you coped brilliantly!

I agree with Pidgin. You need to be a little bit more gentle with yourself. You've had a tiring and stressful few weeks and pregnancy will make you take that little bit longer to get over it.

And I'm sure that your nice little bump is NOT constipation! It will be healthy baby totally unaware of its stressed host (likely to stay that way for 18 yrs). Rest up and take it easy.

Now you made me cry again! Aww but in a good way, thank you.
I hope you're right, I am a lucky girl as I think my boyfriend realised how down I was and took me to the local (5 minutes away!) for a nice meal and then I was tucked up in bed by 9!
I think I'm starting to realise that I need to take care of myself a bit more and maybe let myself off for some things!

Don't get me wrong, I am still totally paranoid about the baby not being ok, but I don't know if that will ever go away?
It's a shame really as I can't seem to let myself get excited or enjoy being pregnant. Maybe after the 20 wk scan I'll be better...

Thank you for your kind words, you really are lovely on here.

I hope you're ok too yama, no one needs stress when they're pregnant... I'm all ears if you need it...

Thanks Dappy. My wee brother died. I've just realised I wrote 'dramatic' when I meant 'traumatic'.

Let us know how your scan goes would you?

I'm sure everything is fine and in a few weeks the discomfort will take over and you'll realise that the wee one is growing and growing fast!

Hi Dappymoo, I am only 12 weeks pg, but was due for my first scan and blood tests when the volcano struck and I was stuck in San Francisco for 7 extra nights. Luckily for me we were taken in under the wing of my husband's 'penpal and family. We had never met these people and the day we went I started to bleed and I ended up convincing myself I had miscarried. No-one back home knew I was pg so I phoned my mum and balled down the phone that I was miscarrying and she told my brother etc. I was so stressed and trying to be positive about not being able to get home it was really hardwork. I have since taken pregnancy tests that say 'pregnant' and stil feel that way but until I have a scan I too am hoping the baby is not affected and the wait is frustrating. I sympathize completely. I think sometimes you just try to carry on as usual and be brave in stressful situations when really we should just give ourselves a break and take it easy. I hope your feeling better in the comfort of your own home and Blighty. I wouldn't worry about the wine - it is made from grapes after all .

Remember take it easy

Buy a doppler - you will stop worrying the minute you hear the heartbeat... £30 on amazon + bottle of gel. It could be with you tomorrow!

Oh yama I'm so sorry, hope you're keeping alright. xxx

Amailis, I wonder if I'd worry more!? if I couldn't find a heartbeat etc!

RedCardinal it sounds like we were in really similar situations! Glad your little bean looks to be sticking around and hope you can relax a bit after the scan. You're right, if we can't take it easy now, when can we??!