I feel like giving up on midwife appointments

[strawberrycake]

I'm fed up of trapsing around for ages for a long wait followed by a 3min appointment. The average appointment involves 45 min there and back, 20 min wait after appointment time and 3 mins of a rushed midwife who doesn't listen to a word. Moans:

-I have bloods taken, and never get results whoever I ask as 'I'm sure you'd be contacted if there was a problem'-well frankly it's just as likely they're lost seeing that's what they'd done consistently with everything else!

-I have notes like 'discussion had about vitamin k' or 'discussion about birth plan' put in my notes, well I certainly wasn't present in those discussions.

-Any question is answered with 'it's in the booklet/ leaflet I gave you'-no you gave me nothing, but I guess I'll google the booklet like everything else.

-I was wondering today when they'd start measuring bump, was very surprised to check notes today and see measurements entered! Even in sessions where my bump hasn't even been felt, let alone measured.

-Other notes are entered such as 'active baby', surely that's soemthing to ask me about as I', with it all the time!

-GP binned my urine container, midwife wouldn't give me a new one so no urine test done. Told to go back to GPs to get another if they binned it (yeah right I'll make that journey for that, it'll be a jam jar in future) BTW they are quite insistant on using the proper containers.

-I moved house halfway though pregnancy and keep getting moaned at that my notes are scribbled on/ not in order. Like I wrote them myself....

-It's so rushed I honestly don't even get eye contact, let alone a how do you feel. Timed today, 2min 40 secs. IS she going for a record? I sat in silent defeat today, not that it was noticed that I said nothing.

I can feel my baby moving and I know he's head down. The pharmacy next door do free blood pressure checks. I'm fed up with the midwife, it's not likely that anything would be pickd up in such half-arsed appointments. I feel like not going unless an issue arises as they only serve to tire me out and piss me off. I was going for a home birth but changed my mind as I dn't think I want this flappy and disorganised woman around when I'm in labour!

agreed with Elsa, although you need to approach the nursing and midwifery council, rather than the GMC, if you want some guidance on making a complaint. GMC doesn't regulate midwifes

Strawberry - if you can, transfer to Harlow. They are GREAT! I live in Buckhurst Hill (on the central line) and friends from South Woodford and Woodford have also had babies there.

I have my notes here.... antenatal clinic number is 01279 827102. They may be able to help? Community office is 01279 827103.

Strawberry - have you thought any more about transferring to Harlow? I think you should def look into it...

Feel for yoy=u. The level of care many women receive today is quite poor. However, if it wasn't for a routine blood test late in my third pregnancy, my baby might have died. Please don't give up on the appointments. And complain, complain, ^complain if you feel the care you are getting is actually poor.

If i were you the first thing I'd do is go to my GP with a urine sample and explain that you havn't had proper tests and could they just do them and check you out in general. Then I'd ring the hospital who is doing your antenatal care and ask to transfer to a different mw or ring to transfer to a diff hospital.i think I'd only start the complaining after that. The most important thing is that you get the checks that you need .yes you should complain but sort things out for yourself first.

thanks for all the advice, I've been dwelling on it. I think I'm going to go down the route of get checks etc/ sorted then complain. Frankly it's the last thing I need right now, and the complaint will still stand afer the birth.

COMPLAIN! Your treatment to date reads like I wrote it myself!!!! I wish with all my heart I followed my instincts and did. It's 7 months since my very own "flappy"( as you called yours) midwife and her number 2 argued and were distracted during my home birth and now my devastated husband and I have only a report that catalogues 23 errors that contributed to our sons death, 3 days later. Everything from not following through proceedures, taking correct records during "critical readings" "forgetting" things, not switching on oxygen and finally FALSIFYING my entire notes to cover up their incompetence....we now know they were" under pressure", or were suffering personal problems....well, I wish i'd complained before my beautiful son was so badly let down. We may feel, or be made to feel, like a nuisance but I find it a hard excuse to explain this to my 3 young children now and will live with this forever.

COMPLAIN! Your treatment to date reads like I wrote it myself!!!! I wish with all my heart I followed my instincts and did. It's 7 months since my very own "flappy"( as you called yours) midwife and her number 2 argued and were distracted during my home birth and now my devastated husband and I have only a report that catalogues 23 errors that contributed to our sons death, 3 days later. Everything from not following through proceedures, taking correct records during "critical readings" "forgetting" things, not switching on oxygen and finally FALSIFYING my entire notes to cover up their incompetence....we now know they were" under pressure", or were suffering personal problems....well, I wish i'd complained before my beautiful son was so badly let down. We may feel, or be made to feel, like a nuisance but I find it a hard excuse to explain this to my 3 young children now and will live with this forever.

katsex, I'm so very sorry. That's despicable.

Hopefully strawberrycake has had her baby by now. this thread is from over a year ago.

My God, she sounds negligent not to mention fraudulent!

I thought I had higher expectations of the NHS than what I got, but reading this I realise that my MW care has actually been exceptional.

Please complain - to falsify your notes like this and not do basic checks ESPECIALLY at 36 weeks is not on

"... I sat in silent defeat today.."
I think we can all relate to that reaction when confronted with the "care" we recieve. I think an amount of p n depression is asisted by the unprofessional attitudes of some of the professionals, pregnant women come in contact with, you feel so responsible and yet so powerless.

Yes it sounds very familiar. My midwife appointments were like this. Then when DD was born early someone entered how many weeks early she was wrong into her notes. Everyone copied it and she missed out on lots of tests that I didn't know she should be having because she was actually earlier than her notes said. Useless hospital.

I only realised when a doctor left his notes out on her incubator and I picked them up. Actually there were lots of other errors. The length of labour was wrong, it said no intervention when they used ventousse, hmm, can't remember everything else! I was very unhappy with the care there to be honest. I was also near London. Are they all rubbish?

Katsex1 - sorry to hear about your terrible tragedy.

OP - you may well have had your baby by now, but you are free to write on your notes so why they are telling you off for them having marks on I don't know.

If you've not had your baby, then write on the notes page everything you disagree with, and sign it - so if they've put FHRH or NAD in urine and neither were checked, mark it down. Easier to write it all down now than once baby is here. Plus when the MW sees that you've noted these down, she might be more inclined to actually DO the checks at any other appointments. And if you want a HB, go for it but call the SOH and say you do not want this MW to attend under any circumstances.

"-I have notes like 'discussion had about vitamin k' or 'discussion about birth plan' put in my notes, well I certainly wasn't present in those discussions".

That sounds very worrying. I would definitely complain...

I have looked through my notes and discovered all the boxes have been ticked for things we are supposed to have dicussed and like you, I must have not been there for these discussions as I have no memory of them! Its lazy on the midwives part, I know they must have the same conversation 20 times a day and it must get repetitive and tedious but for someone somewhere it could save a life (info about movements, headaches, symptoms to watch out for etc) I dodn't bother pulling her up about it as this is my third pregnancy so I knew it anyway but I probably should've said something.

I find after every appointment the boxes for movements felt and discussed are ticked when sometimes she hasn't even bothered to feel them. At my last appointment (36 weeks) she couldn't get the baby to move when checking for the heartbeat and sent me to the hospital for monitering - and had still ticked the 'movements felt' box.

I always follow up my blood test results as with my last DC I was induced as an emergency as after having blood tests for liver function and bile acids at 34 and 36 weeks (after symptoms getting worse) they finally realised I had choliostasis but no one had bothered to check my results, even after the second test. I was 41+ when they realised and should have been induced at 38 weeks. I know insist the midwife texts me my blood test results.

According to my notes, my birth plan has been discussed and I am booked in at my hospital of choice.... I am waiting for someone to let me know what that choice is, as I definately don't know! I am 37 weeks now so will have to ask them at my next appointment.

I really feel for you. So many people have smilar stories
what a nightmare

I must be very VERY lucky I think...

I have seen midwife at
5 weeks
(was in hospital at 8 weeks with HG )
9 weeks (1 hour home visit)
(she kindly hand delivered a form to my house at 10 weeks so a quick hello)
13 weeks
18 weeks
22 weeks

Im booked in again at 25 weeks, and will go again at 28 weeks. not sure about after but i know they see me at 34 weeks, 38 weeks, 40 weeks then weekly.

I am normally in there at least 20mins... often nearer half an hour (appt time = 15 mins!) They always over run / are running late but so far the care from my community mid-wives has been un-fault able.

Its my 1st pregnancy but other than having HG (which isnt really an issue with regards to baby etc) Im 'normal' weight, under 35, no significant risk factors anywhere.... but i feel like i have been really well looked after!

Can not say the same about being in hospital...
really hope my lovely community midwives can be with me for my planned home birth, cause my care here is so much better than the care in my local (45mins away) hospital!

LittleSilver is correct - writing such blatant lies in your notes is enough to get hauled up by the Nursing & Midwifery Council. Chances are, if she's doing it to you, she's doing it to every other woman she sees. This is REALLY dangerous and you should report her.

So sorry for your loss, katsex1

I feel kind of disheartened now. I'm 23 weeks and I've seen a midwife a grand total of twice so far (one booking appointment at 12 weeks, one routine 16 week appointment). There are definitely boxes ticked in my notes that were not discussed with me. The results of my booking bloods never arrived. Next appointment will be 25 weeks and I have no idea what should or should not happen during these appointments; it's my first pregnancy.

I've noticed things on my notes that have been signed off as discussed and I definitely have not had these discussions. DH comes to every single appointment, as have had issues before where I haven't been given right advice etc. so want to make sure that he was there to help me ask the questions I need to ask. The only time I have received treatment which is laid out in the books is when a student is there too. If given the option in hospital I would definitely ay yes to students being present as this is when they seem to bother about doing their jobs properly. Mine has even asked me to complete the blanks in my notes in case they are audited! One thing you could do is contact the patient association - they are absolutely fantastic with advice etc. - good luck with everything, and hopefully the NHS reforms go ahead.

I know this thread is old but just wondered if anyone has been successful in sacking off their midwife appointments? I'm getting sick of mine too (similar issues, 5 min appointments, no info, no disscussion, only ever talks about how much of a bad person I am for not wanting the flu jab, etc) and am wondering if I can have the essentials done elsewhere?

I certainly wouldn't stop attending your appointments, I would however make a complaint and make it quick. If possible try and change your Midwifery team/ Hospital.

You need to contact the Supervisor of Midwives for the Maternity Department and complain, utter negligence. BTW you can write in your own notes, sign and date them next to the false information saying that they are incorrect/false and the checks were not done.

Katsex - so sorry for your loss.

Oops zombie thread.

Kate I wouldn't advise not having your appointments, but do complain about substandard care.

kate, of course you can. My midwife was a patronising PITA so I declined further appointments with her and had all others during that and subsequent pregnancies with my GP.

My GP offered to do my antenatal appointments instead of the MWs. You could try that.