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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Pregnancy books for men

26 replies

Miffster · 14/04/2010 15:43

Hiya
First, longed-for pregnancy for me and my DH. DD Dec. Both of us realising we have managed to get this far very little about what's to come despite being old gits of 39 and 42.

I'm now information-gathering online at warp speed, but would welcome book recommendations for me and him.

He just wants ONE book that explains it all that he can refer to which tells him what to expect, how to help, how to cope clearly and simply and what's going on week by week and why etc.

Only book I have seen for men was full of not-very-funny 'laddy' stuff' ie. Week 6, her tits hurt lots, don't grab them, make her some mint tea when she pukes'. OTOH the detailed pregnancy manuals are probably way too detailed and obviously aimed at women so not really what he was after either.

I'd tell him to read on here but he doesn't 'do' the internet, after looking at a screen all day for work he says his eyes hurt.

Oh and any books you think worth investing in for me then please let me know too. I tend to assume everything can be found online for free but would like a book to read in the bath

Thanks v. much

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Poledra · 14/04/2010 15:45

I gave DH this. He wasn't a sit-down-and-read-it-cover-to-cover man, but he did refer to it a fair bit (I fondly remember the poo colour chart in it...)

toomuchtooyoung · 14/04/2010 15:51

i've just bought that, more for me than DH, I'm more of a practical kind of girl. found all the other books to be a bit....ahem, girly?

Not a huge amount of detail re pregnancy, more on life post pregnancy with the baby, but definitely better than the laddy stuff. informative and in a format which is do familiar if you've ever used a haynes manual

SoLongAsItsHealthy · 14/04/2010 16:06

Why can't he just read your pregnancy books? You both need to be reading the same stuff. The books specifically for men are incredibly patronising - to both men and women I think. I doubt he needs a book to remind him to be extra nice to you at this time

nunnie · 14/04/2010 16:12

www.amazon.co.uk/New-Father-Mitchell-Beazley-Health/dp/1845330935/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books& qid=1271257813&sr=1-1

my mother in law got thisfor dh and

www.amazon.co.uk/Rough-Pregnancy-Guides-Reference-Titles/dp/1843536846/ref=sr_1_4?ie=U TF8&s=books&qid=1271257854&sr=1-4

and this

www.amazon.co.uk/Rough-Guide-Babies-Miranda-Levy/dp/184353522X/ref=pd_sim_b_4

for me, dh found his book helpful and I loved my two, they are written in easy to understand language and they did have me giggling in places x

Original poster

Miffster · 14/04/2010 16:15

I haven't got any pregnancy books. I have been getting all my info online, and he doesn't do online, he reads books.

I think the pg books aimed at women are incredibly detailed, unnecessarily so, really for a non-pregnant person to read and I just can't see him reading them.

As to 'being extra nice to me', you'd be amazed. He had abslutely no idea at all that there was any need to do anything much for the first 4 - 5 months. He thought I'd 'just be normal until the bump started showing' and said things like 'oh, when it's just a small bunch of cells - you can still go out and drink and smoke and stuff can't you? It's not a real baby yet, just a speck.'

He also couldn't understand why I wasn't walking about looking radiantly fulfilled now I was pregnant but instead looked anxious and exhausted.

He was completely startled when I explained about sickness, tits, hormones, mood swings, wanting to be looked after etc. That was when he asked for a book.

I'll def. get the car manual one which looks great for birth and after. Not much about pregnancy in it, any other recs for the being pregnant stage?

Thanks again.

OP posts:

Original poster

Miffster · 14/04/2010 16:15

Oh cheers, those other 2 look good, will go and check amazon.

OP posts:

jwiggles · 14/04/2010 16:28

I have just ordered the Haynes Manual type DAD book on your recommendation Poledra! Im sure my husband will love it! Thanks

scrappydappydoo · 14/04/2010 16:30

I got the Haynes manual fir dh as a fathers day gift when I was pg. It was great! Also have lovely memories of the poo chart which actually proved to be quite useful!

Poledra · 14/04/2010 16:34

Hope he enjoys, jwiggles! We've passed ours onto a friend whose DW is expecting their first baby in June

nunnie · 14/04/2010 16:40

www.tommys.org/Page.aspx?pid=602&nccsm=21&__nccspID=875

This book is okay too, and has a section for men on pregnancy.

Oh and it's free took about a fortnight to arrive and it is an informative book for a freebie x

DuckLover · 14/04/2010 16:49

I suggested this to my man, but he refuses to read anything about pregnancy. He basically tells me it's my 'job' and he has done his bit.

I am getting miffed with his attitude.

blackcurrants · 14/04/2010 16:52

I got DH "The Expectant Father" and he thinks it's really good. Not laddish, not prim - BUT (this is important considering how much of it is about interviewing health care providers etc) it is US-centric (we live there now) so that might be of-putting. It's not gushingly 'american' but it does talk about the American health care system as a default.

What I and he have REALLY liked about it is the month-by month chapters that list things in bulletpoints: What's going on with the foetus (eg development), What's going on with her (eg: Month 5, she's tired and might be feeling needy but sickness may have gone. Heartburn..) and What's going on with YOU (i.e. the dad). If you can get your hands on a copy, it's the best one we've found and it's really helped us out of some fights situations. Heh. Once I said "I'm tired and you're always out and I miss you and I'm just - oh I need a hug, and we never spend any time together and if this is what it's like now what will happen when the baby gets here? waaaa!"
The next night he cancelled his martial arts plans, and I came home to a candlelit dinner.
Later he admitted that he'd read in the "Month 5" section of his book that I needed lots of attention and reassurance and he'd not thought about it as I 'seemed to be doing so well' - heh. :D

Poledra · 14/04/2010 16:55

BTW, Miffster, I liked this one for me, as it made me larf

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 14/04/2010 18:42

Sign him up on mumsnet

BertieBotts · 14/04/2010 18:59

I second the vote for the "rough guide" one on pregnancy - it's very funny and not too in-depth, and has lots of recommendations for other books to read if you do want more in-depth info on something.

Haynes manual is good but I think the info on breastfeeding is slightly outdated. It's a small thing though as you'd probably look for breastfeeding advice elsewhere anyway!

Pepsiginn · 14/04/2010 19:54

Dear old gits! lol...
We too have been on the search for something that is just right for us and DH managed to find a cracker the other day which he now keeps beside the toilet (tmi) and is constantly coming out with things that i haven't even read in my standard (non-gender specific) book.
It's called: The expectant dad's survival guide. And he highly recommends it.
Congratulations by the way too!

sunshiney · 14/04/2010 20:07

Personally my must have baby book is the 'baby sleep' one from the 'Teach Yourself' collection.

I am evangelical about it, it really gives you the tools to make your baby the best sleeper they can be, with no need for that horrible crying it out stuff.

Burkoid · 24/05/2010 21:29

Hiya

My DH has just written a book for men about pregnancy! It's called Pregnancy for Men - the whole Nine Months (Mark Woods). Its definitely not laddy, is very funny, and is, most importantly i reckon - respectful of women. It tells it how it is and doesnt pull any punches but isnt distasteful.

Here's a link if you fancy it.

tiny.cc/ee3kl

Happy reading and good luck!

ro4chat · 25/05/2010 00:38

I bought my DH the Pregnancy Guide for Blokes.

I was scared it would be really laddy so I read it myself before I gave it to him. And I liked it! It's funny but full of facts and advice on how to make OUR life easier. I had a horrible 10 weeks with allday sickness and other "joys of pregnancy" and DH never lost it, because he was already warned. And it made him feel important, because he understood that he is my main support system. It gave him a purpose, a job. Which is exactly what men need when they see us go through hell and there's nothing they can do to fix it.

I admit it's not a comprehensive guide on pregnancy and babies, but all our books are full of that stuff, you just need to find the right pages and show him. Share with him the steps of the baby's development and other pieces of information about the birth and beyond, in small doses, so he doesn't freak out!
Good luck!

bracknellmum · 21/05/2012 23:47

We bought and read several books and whilst were pretty funny they were all a bit too 'laddy'. But cutting the cord (www.amazon.co.uk/Cutting-The-Cord-ebook/dp/B005GLF3K0) was much better. my husband really enjoyed it as the author doesn't try to be someone he's not and was not scared to talk freely about his feelings and the things that scared him. I loved it cos it game me a great insight into what goes through a mans mind!

monkeymoma · 22/05/2012 09:34

my DH found the blokes guide really patronising, "you might have to go to the pub less or give up the occassional footie match" kinda thing and some of the medical facts were wrong, he ended up reading the pregnancy bible instead

LIG1979 · 22/05/2012 10:18

My DH got the following book as an iBook (so he can read it on the train and not look like a woos)

www.amazon.co.uk/Pregnancy-For-Men-whole-months/dp/190541062X/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1337678113&sr=8-4

It has been very useful e.g. when I got heartburn for the 1st time and thought I was dying and needed to go to A&E. He piped up that I may get heartburn around now and when to get some gavison for me. I think it has the right mixture of humour and fact.

Velo · 22/05/2012 11:29

I'm just impressed that you got your DH's reading anything at all! We seem to operate on a 'need to know' basis. I do the research and as we head off for the scan I fill him on why we're going, what's going to happen. I did think of showing him a couple of YouTube clips on what childbirth is actually like but I think that would totally freak him out (the poor thing). He is however looking after me very nicely so I can't really complain.

Littlemissimpatient · 22/05/2012 11:46

Why don't you both go to your local library? You can take a few out to look through but of you find one you really like then buy that one.

Tweedledeedum · 22/05/2012 12:48

I bought these two for my hubby which were great:
From Here to Paternity: www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/1905745028
Baby Owner's Manual: www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/1931686238/ref=mp_s_a_1?qid=1337687252&sr=8-1

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