birth again........reassurance needed!

[jstock]

I am 7 weeks pregnant with my second child. I have the most wonderful gorgeous son I could have possibly asked for who is 10 months old but the birth was awful, the midwives, nurses, nursing assistants cleaners and reception staff were all wonderful and I couldn't wish for a better place to go again but I am absolutely bricking it!

I started off at about 1am on the Friday morning stayed at home as long as I could bear it and went in at about 6.30 thought I had a show at 8.30 but it was muconium. My contractions were 2 mins apart from start to finish and I couldn't move, even to pee set another contraction off so I got a catheter every time I needed to be 'emptied' he was back to back up until about 2 hours before he arrived (2am on the Saturday morning) and I was put on an oxytocin (I think) drip to try and speed things up. I asked for an epidural but they were too understaffed........wasn't too keen on that midwife (She did explain that it was too risky for me as she couldn't leave me on my own and she had 2 ladies she was looking after and my husband said in no uncertain terms I had to deal with it now and get over it!)The pushing part was great and everything seemed to calm down at that point but out popped my 9lb 7oz boy and they thought I had a third degree tear, turned out to be a second degree but took me a good 3 months to heal properly and still have a few problems now.

were the odds stacked against me? did I have it tough or am I just a wimp? I'm really scared and know it's very early to be thinking about it as I'm not even 12 weeks yet but........oh! be as brutal as you like and tell me what I did wrong the first time and all hints and tips to make it ok the second time round would be appreciated.

Cor what a ramble!!

I had a difficult birth with ds and am now 24 weeks pregnant with dc2.

What I found most useful is when I went for appt with consultant (when I had first scan at 12 weeks) he went through the notes of my previous birth and told me that it was unlikely the same would happen again (it was a fluke thing) which I found quite reassuring. He also explained what had actually happened.

Yes, I think as well as all the hype going on, I'm missing massive chunks of the day and My DH still tells me things I didn't know. Will the MW have the notes as I didn't see my GP at all with my last pregnancy?

Thanks for the reply

Congratulations!

Your first labour sounds very much like mine. Long, painful and traumatic.

I can reassure you that my second was a doddle!!! It lasted about eight hours in total, from waters breaking, but the painful part was very short...we're talking 1 hour 15 mins from the first contraction that made me yell out to having a baby on the bed!! (4 pushes!)

Every birth is truly different, and a difficult first time has no bearing on anything second time around.

I'm ready to pop with baby 3 any day and am hoping it will be even easier!

Don't let this worry cloud your pregnancy.

Hi I think the worry makes it worse Im expecting no 4 soon and although I had straightforward births with nowhere near the bad time you did they were all different. My last was 9lb 13oz and was 3 hours from start to finish so they size shouldnt put you off either - my worse was my ds who was 7lb 6oz although he was 4 weeks early and back to back.
Im looking forward to getting at least one meal at the hospital that I havent had to cook and loads of tea.

My first birth was horrendous and i am now 14 weeks with no 2, I have written to the hospital and paid £25.00 for a copy of all my previous birthing notes and now i have them i plan to get someone to go through them with me and explain what went wrong and what could be done differently coz i don't intend to suffer like that again! I have already discovered that without the hard evidence both midwife and consultant are patronising and dismissive. Thats just my plan but could be worth thinking about?

Thanks

The Midwife team we have in this area are brilliant so I hope they'll be able to go through it at my booking in appointment but didn't know I could get a copy of my notes, I'll definitely look into that plan.

Abbierhodes, where do I order that birth from? kiddicare? mothercare? oh if only!

I'm trying to be really positive and realistic, there's nothing I can do is there? I'm going to have the birth that I'm going to have (does that make sense?) I'm toying with waterbirth, acupuncture, aromatherapy, hypnosis....General anaesthetic....Just kidding about the last part.

Vicky, I loved being in hospital, my pals think I'm a bit odd but my DS was on special care for 3 days (inhaled the muconium) and I got a call every day to let me know my dinner was waiting for me downstairs, took me a wee while to figure out the menu though, didn't realise that when I ticked Pork that's all I got.... 3 slices of Pork, found the veg, gravy and more importantly the rhubarb crumble eventually!

Thanks so much for the replies. xx

Jstock, if you find out where to order it would you have them send me another one? I'm sure I won't be that lucky again!

Glad you're feeling better.