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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Have just had the "how did the baby get in there" conversation with DS (3)!

23 replies

Jacksmybaby · 11/04/2010 21:10

And gave him a very vague answer about plants growing from seeds and babies being like plants, and we put a seed in mummy's tummy and it is growing into a baby.

He accepted that for now (he asked the question just as he was drifting off to sleep this eve, so not too persistent in his questioning) but am now awaiting the follow-up questions about how exactly the seed got in there!

Do not have a problem with him knowing per se, more the thought of him announcing to all our friends/family/the shop assistant in Tesco/a random stranger on the bus, that Daddy planted a seed in Mummy's tummy, is making me cringe with horror !

Any thoughts/tips/experiences anyone wants to share?

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MumNWLondon · 11/04/2010 21:20

DS (3) at a faith nursery attached to faith primary school. They talk about God a lot, so God put the baby in and God decided that it would be a boy. As we are religious I feel thats appropriate for now (at age 3).

DS had proudly told all who will listen that he knows how the baby got in there

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 11/04/2010 21:31

Just wait for the "how does it get out" question - that's a good one to explain too!

LittlePushka · 11/04/2010 21:38

Almost as tricky as the, "Can we put the baby back in there now?" conversation!

Original poster

Jacksmybaby · 11/04/2010 21:42

Interestingly, with DS the "how will it get out?" question came before the "how did it get in?" one! Luckily, having had a CS last time and probably this time too, it was easy to explain about the doctor cutting open mummy's tummy!

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whomovedmychocolate · 11/04/2010 21:46

Hahahhah - we had that too from DD when she was nearly three. I had DS when she was 20 months and she had lots of interesting questions. Then a few months ago (3.2 at the time) she asked about why the baby grew in mummy's tummy and I explained it was like a flower and that there was a special seed that daddy had and he put it in mummy's tummy which was like her flower bed (she has her own bit of the garden) and that mummy kept it warm and fed it like a plant till it was big enough to come out and then we went to the hospital and the doctors let DS out.

She was quite satisfied with this till one of our friends had twins and since then she's convinced there is another one in there waiting to come out

LilRedWG · 11/04/2010 21:49

DD asked me that question early on a Monday morning. I explained about the seed and the egg. Several weeks later she asked how the seed got to the egg. Luckily, someone on here had recommended Babette Cole's, "Mummy Laid an Egg", which I'd bought in preparation so I read it to her and left it at that.

She's luckily dropped the subject now, apart from occassionally asking me if I can get a baby in my tummy.

Adair · 11/04/2010 21:50

don't forget 'what do YOU think?' as it often lets you know what kind of detail you need to give/why they are asking.

(Dd mentioned the eggs inside her tummy the other day, I completely forgot I had told her \bout it!)

MumNWLondon · 11/04/2010 21:52

re: coming out, I didn't see any reason not to tell him (I didn't tell him it would hurt though) - I explained that mummy was very stretchy down there and the baby would come out of her "nunny" (what DD calls her bits) when he was ready. he saw a lamb being born recently so no point in making it up.

I even let him watch the OBEM waterbirths (very calm) from the channel 4 websites and the sound was turned off. He was very interested as he knows he was born in water. But now he is sad as he really wants to watch the baby coming out .

woollyjo · 11/04/2010 21:57

I told dd (3.4) exactly how baby got in there and how it will come out and she has just accepted it. She did announce to the receptionist when we went for our nuchal scan that mummy had a baby in her tummy and daddy put it there .... but I haven't had any other public explanations from her.

Unfortunately her sister was stillborn last june so she has already been though all this, and the aftermath once before - now with 6 weeks to go she is keen to help me squeeze this baby out!

Original poster

Jacksmybaby · 11/04/2010 21:59

whomovedmychocolate I am now sniggering childishly over the whole "mummy's lady garden" connotations of the seed imagery!

Adair - good suggestion re asking what he thinks.

MumNWLondon we call ladies' private parts "noonies" in our house too!

OP posts:

Original poster

Jacksmybaby · 11/04/2010 22:01

Sorry to hear that Woollyjo.

When you say you explained "exactly" - how much detail / how graphically do you mean?!

OP posts:

woollyjo · 11/04/2010 22:08

I told her that dady put a seed in mummy's tummy with his willy. She asked how and I said that ladies have a special hole to put the seed in and when it has grown the baby comes back out of it. I couldn't think of a way to make it any clearer.

taffetacat · 11/04/2010 22:11

sorry for your loss woollyjo.

DS asked a few times at around 3 ( his little sister was born when he was 2.7 ), then last year at 5 wanted to know exactly where the baby came out. I said from between my legs and he said what, there? pointing. I said yes.

I wished I had a camcorder handy. His face went from concerned, to dawning realisation to hysterical laughter for about a minute. Then he asked if he could see. I said no.

Original poster

Jacksmybaby · 11/04/2010 22:12

Wow WJ, I would love to be that candid with DS but the thought of him repeating that word for word in public is making me want to crawl under my chair and hide! Admire you for doing it though.

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vickyob · 11/04/2010 23:07

Im expecting baby 4 and suprisingly only got asked this time round by my DS1 (3). We said daddy puts a seed in mummys belly with a special cuddle and I keep the baby warm and help her grow.
He then asked how the baby gets out so I told him she would come out of my minnie (DD insists on calling it this). He just accpeted it but overhearing him tell DD2 (5) the details she came running into me asking if it was true that babies come out of your minnie ? Yes I said to which she replied blimey (!) that would hurt Im not having any kids.
The only down side to this is that he now asks if he can have special cuddles and when we were in the garden centre last week DD2 (2) announced that we were buying seeds but not the same one Dadddy put in mummys tummy

woollyjo · 12/04/2010 12:57

I don't remember my parents ever discussing any sort of bodily function with us (I have 2 sisters)we were provided with books which gave me the clear message the topic wasn't up for discussion (and my mum was a nurse ffs). Don't want that to be the case with my kids so I thought to be as clear as we can be from the off would make it all seem very normal. Hope I don't regret it later.

Raahh · 12/04/2010 13:13

My two haven't really asked about how the baby got in my tummy yet, but lately, DD (3.5) has become rather obsessed that I have a lot of pubic hair (pregnancy is no time for brazilian waxes, imo, or ever. Too squeamish).

Yesterday, when we were out and we had gone to the loo, she enquired again why it was there. Mortified, because the loos were quite full I just wanted her to shush. I told her it was to keep the baby warm

I came out of the cubicle trying very hard not to make eye contact with anyone in the queue.

Skimty · 12/04/2010 13:18

I've gone the Woollyjo approach with DS (3.5)

The other day though he asked me if I could put a teddy up his willy so he could put it into his best friend's tummy. I was slightly mortified especially as I don't think friend's mum (listening to all this) approves of my candour!

cheesesarnie · 12/04/2010 13:27

were open about things.there is no big talk or whatever.they ask and we answer only the questions asked.we dont panic and think they should know everything at once.dd and ds1 and ds2 asked different questions,but we answer truthfully-non of this stork buisness.

maybe im not it all wrong but i remember being sat down for huge 'chat' when my mum was pregnant.i was still clueless and completly embarressed.and at 13 when i started my periods-i had no clue what was happening!i thought i pooed myself or something!

Original poster

Jacksmybaby · 12/04/2010 14:04

LOL at the pubic hair keeping the baby warm, Raahh!

I never had any sort of talks with my mum about babies, sex, periods etc. Now want to find right balance with DS of being open and not creating a taboo out of these sorts of topics but without overloading him with info he's not ready to deal with (plus the embarrassment factor of him repeating stuff!).

OP posts:

cheesesarnie · 12/04/2010 14:06

so just answer each question as it comes.in answer to how did the baby get in there.a simple 'daddy put it in there 'will do.then onto the next question etc etc.no need to overload.

Raahh · 12/04/2010 14:29

Tbh, I think dd is more worried about baby coming out, than how it got in. She is convinced I am going to pop. Her older, wiser brother (7), having been through this before, just told her that I will be sliced open with a tin opener. Then they sew you up, with pink cotton for a girl, or blue for a boy.

I am not sure where he got that from, but I assured him it is not standard practice, even on the NHS!

woollyjo · 12/04/2010 15:14

I completely agree with cheesesarnie on this one.

We have had to take the same approach to bereavement too as in her short life DD has lost 2 grandparents and a sister .

I just never want her to be in position that she feels like she can't ask.

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