I am 40, I have 4 DC but I *really* want another

[Majestic]

stamps foot

Is this ridiculous of me?! DH isn't bothered either way and I do still have all the "gear" from DD3.........or is it a yearning now she is a walking talking preschooler and I am wondering what I shall do all day when she is an actual school-er?!

Anyone else still popping them out at my age?!

Just had lunch with lovely friend who is 40, has DS1 - 8 and DS2 - 4 and is trying now for her third (and no, not to 'get a girl' - horrible expression). I say, go for it!

However, maybe try and convert DH from 'not bothered either way' to actively on board as he will be, well, involved in DC4's life and it's nice to be enthusiastic about that sort of thing

And look at Mrs. Duggar (American woman who has 19, and had last one at 43). OK, maybe bad point - maybe don't look at Mrs. D as she is also slightly mad.... But you get my drift; if you are ready, willing and able to have another one, and you are already an expert at raising multiple children, I think you should definitely have another one.

Good luck with your decision!

Would you regret it if you didn't go for it?

I am 'only' 30 but pregnant with DC4, I think this is it for me as I hate pregnancy but I can totally understand that maybe you don't feel done. I would happily have more children if I didn't hve to be pregnant.

If you can afford it and feel able to cope then I don't see why you shouldn't go for it. 40 is not old in terms of pregnancy nowadays.

oh please don't compare me to Mrs D that's enough to have me booking DH a vasectomy! I really felt DD3 was me done but now I'm not so sure. I blame that dratted C4 birth programme!
Fortunately DH is very hands on. He's self employed and makes sure he puts us all high on his priority list. . . oh gosh its a hard one!DH has taken his I'll Go With Whatever You Decide stance that he usually reserves for soft furnishings

I am 40 and going to be having a fourth. There are lots of threads on here for over 40's.

What Kat said about can afford and able to cope.Your DH sounds perfect!

Majestic LOL about soft furnishings!

And fair point about Mrs. D.... I think I watch that programme only to make me stop being moany old cow aka 'Mustn't Grumble; if she can cope with 19, I can certainly sail with grace and aplomb through pregnancy with Number Two'

frankenfanny - he's not perfect but he's pretty good, we bob along nicely with enough excitement to prevent anyone getting bored!
14hours - not entirely sure Mrs D does cope does she? Its gotta be unmitigated chaos there. I might not be a domgod but I have my standards dontcha know

im the eldest of 5, my youngest brother is 3, my mum had him at 42...i dont think its silly at all, its nice that there is such a big age gap between us too we all get on really well (most of the time) and if it was a yearning i tried to ignore and then time passed and it was too late, i would have regrets for the rest of my life...go for it i say we're only here once!!

Lots of ladies on here over 40 and pregnant. Go for it. Had my first at 43!

pipinmybelly - thats some age gap then if your brother is 3 wow I won't be physcially able to match that - my eldest is 8!

fifitot - I need to search the site more I think, will go do a search for some more
"like me"

Riven- that sucks I would be really gutted if DH said no - he is pretty laid back about it all - why does your DH not want more?

mjinhiding - ah 6 would be lovely - not sure my nerves could take it though especially as they would all be at home at one time!! DH is 40 later this year.

i don't think it matters how old you are , if you want more go for it ! you only live once live it with no regrets ! thats what i say anyway im on my 6th .
good luck

I have 3 children and always wanted 4 but my dh wasn't keen. He never said no, but I knew I couldn't do it unless he felt the same way. Eventually after constant nagging he came round and ended up more enthusiastic then me. I'm now pregnand with dc4 and can honestly say this is it. I say go for it, you'll never regret having another one but you may regret not having one. IYSWIM!

If you want another one because you don't know what to do without a baby, I foresee SERIOUS problems when your DCs grow up. Both for you and for your children (be them 3 or 4).

Please, do a favour for all of you and get a life of your own. I'm not going into details but I speak from experience - it's not good for anyone when their mother has no other interests in life other than... being a mother!

yeh there's 21 years between me and my littlest bro

omg schroed, what a nasty post.

op, go for it, your life. I would love another if I could find a man!!

Hi Go for it! I've had no4 at 40 (ds3 now 11 old weeks). Really enjoying him! My others are DS1 8 DD1 5 DS2 4. This is defintely my last though (said that after no3 lol)

i say go for it!! who's to tell u not to?? apart from dp of course coz u kinda need his input (no pun intended!!) let us know what u decide xx

Nancy10 Thank you - I know what you mean about regrets - I wish I had started sooner!

Schroed - I have 4 already I think I confused everyone as I say DD3 as she is my youngest, but I have a DS too in there somewhere I worked my butt off til I had my first and I do lots of things outside of my life with my children, it was a bit of a flippant comment, wondering what I shall do I could work again, or I could do something else....I do have a life though

Ahh popcal thats lovely, I am glad you are enjoying your little chap I never say no more, we have just gone with the flow really, not even TTCed properly hence so many so soon I guess!

Pipin - Still undecided as there is so much I still want to achieve personally....and I do worry a little about spreading ourselves too thinly across them all as they grow older.

We have pondered over a few jugs of Pimms today though

Schroed - well, I am about to have second, and I've always wanted 3, not because I only see myself complete with babies (I actually don't like babies very much at all - MUCH prefer toddlers and up!) but because I love life! I adore seeing these beings (well, this being as we still only have one!) growing up, developing his own selfhood - and then I imagine our conversations as adults, and the richness he does and will continue to bring to our lives. I also hope one day to write a book, and, eventually, go back to work in the nonprofit fundraising sector, which I am also passionate about.

But without my children (note: children - not babies...) life would be, to paraphrase Anne Roiphe: 'A trail winding forever backwards'. Children thrust you into the present (anyone take a walk with a toddler recently?) and also propel you forwards. With gusto. And glee. And abandon. Wouldn't have it any other way...

Well, sorry for the bitter post, I was a bit upset when I wrote that. I completely agree that it is possible to have loads of children and have other interests in life and I?m sure most of us are capable of reaching a healthy balance. But I just think it?s an important thing to keep in mind, that children grow up for the world and not for us (it?s cheesy and common place, but it?s true?). Some people forget that and in the end it causes suffering for all the involved.

But enough of that. I apologise if someone got offended.

Majestic, I really misunderstood it. You mean you want a 5th DC? That?s brave! If you and your husband are happy with that, and you have the means to raise all of them, why not? I?m expecting my first by the end of the month, and have no idea of what life with children will be like. I do want to have a full house, but I can?t imagine more than 3. My mother, on the other hand, had 3 but I think she would easily go for 5.