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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Sex in Pregnancy

14 replies

rubetube · 09/04/2010 20:36

Does anyone else's husband feel weird about having sex? I am 25 weeks and he said he feels like it is weird because he is now aware that the baby is in the room.

This has made me feel even fatter and more un-sexy than ever!

OP posts:
cinnamongreyhound · 09/04/2010 20:45

Not had this problem but know lots that do, I was on a thread a while ago with people with the same problem. I will try to link you to it, fingers crossed I get it right!
here

vix206 · 09/04/2010 21:28

I'm sad to say that this problem not only affects my DH but also me! Especially now the baby kicks so much, it just feels wrong even thinking about sex!!

CazEM · 09/04/2010 22:58

I don't think weird is the right word for my DH, he is still well up for it to a certain extent. (We're 23 weeks).

But during he is quite often not "finishing" (sorry if TMI!) because he is thinking so much about not hurting me/baby (we've had a few episode of bleeding, but not after sex just in general), not squashing the baby (depending on position!), if I'm uncomfortable, not going to fast/hard/deep. He says there is so much to think about he is struggling to just enjoy the moment, even though he is enjoying it if thats makes any sense! I know where he's coming from because I'm quite often concentrating on the same thoughts - its become quite an unsexy experience now! I wouldn't be surprised if we give up completely before long until (probably a long while after) baby is born!

waves at Vix

strawberrykate · 10/04/2010 15:32

When I hit 34 weeks I got so fustrated I told him it was no longer optional. Good fun and been going strong since....

nunnie · 10/04/2010 15:58

My dh won't do it till after 12 weeks, wouldn't with last and won't with this. But then my hormones get the take over and he has no choice it is just early on he doesn't like doing it, or maybe he is just conserving his energy.

I know a few women whos partners won't go near them in a sexual way for the whole nine months, and then they don't feel like it for the first few months after having the baby (understandably), and then it has been 12 months and apparently it is like their first night of passion all over again, when they feel ready. So there is something to be said for restraining for a while

Original poster
rubetube · 10/04/2010 20:25

I guess he is more 'normal' than I thought then

OP posts:
LadyOfTheFlowers · 10/04/2010 20:29

DH has no issues and finds my massive belly and boobs attractive. Some sort of primal thing I assume.

I, however, get a bit edgy when just as I am enjoying myself the baby starts going nuts as if to say 'Don't forget I'm here!' then it all goes out the window.

Have not been that interested since about 36 weeks - feel too big and cumbersome.

GJ91 · 10/04/2010 20:51

From lots of other people's experiences I gather your Hubby is completely normal - rudetube. I think it is alot more common for people to lay off the sex that continue as normal. I find me and OH are still having sex most days and I do enjoy it just as much as before, and he seems to have no worries about doing it. This seems alot more uncommon from listeing to other peoples experiences
38+4

Adamsmam · 10/04/2010 23:35

We carried on regularly right up until the day I went into labour. Thankfully this was the case - as since DS was born and I am bfing I feel far less attractive than I ever did during pregnancy so there seems to be a complete abstinence!

What is DH going to do when baby is born and is actually physically in the room - that's even more weird!

Get yourself something nice to wear and seduce him - it'll make you feel sexy again, and surely he won't be able to resist??

GJ91 · 11/04/2010 00:14

I must admit I do think it is nice if during pregnancy you manage to keep the intimacy as a couple. Even though it is hard to think about much else, I still like to pay attention to keeping our relationship a loving one.
When baby is here I'm sure this will become a lot harder, but It is in my list of priorities

Athrawes · 07/05/2010 00:15

I kind of feel better having read this - I was going to start a thread about whether we are normal not having sex. I am SOOO up for it, bizarre and graphic dreams but DH just feels weird about it. He has stayed away since I stopped looking "a bit fat" and started looking pregnant. I can understand that it is odd for him, what with baby kicking and baby head being an inch away from his manhood (and somehow, the baby being a boy maybe makes it odder?) but I am missing what we used to be good at and am afraid that it will be months and months after the baby is born before we can get back in the saddle. At least we have talked about it but still sad.

comtessa · 10/05/2010 11:01

My DH said that he did not want to have sex with me at all during pregnancy - this is our first and he said it was because he felt weird knowing I was carrying our baby. I said that I would really miss it and would be up for it until I got too uncomfortable, so letting him know that it wasn't a problem for me. After a few weeks he started being happy to have foreplay again, and happily he cracked at 10 weeks (huzzah!) and initiated sex. I had resigned myself to a sexless pregnancy, and of course if it was vice-versa (me not wanting sex due to pregnancy) then I'd expect him to respect my decision too. I have told him I expect frequent massage etc when we're off sex again! (not sure how comfy I'll be with it when bigger) xx

comtessa · 10/05/2010 11:02

PS Think it helped that when I had first scan, nurse had to do internal scan, so he realised that having something inside me wasn't affecting the baby in any way.

Missus84 · 10/05/2010 11:05

I have the opposite issue - poor DP finds me sexier than ever, and I've just lost interest completely

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