Preg with baby no 4....

[MrsZebra]

Hi Everyone
I've just found out that I'm pregnant (due Dec) with our fourth baby and my husband and I are really happy. We already have 3 gorgeous little girls - eldest who's 2.5 and twins who are 1.
The reason I'm posting is because I'm too scared to share my news with anyone for fear of negativity! I don't want it to bring me down.
When I was pregnant with the twins... instead of congratulations, people regularly said commiserations and I already get lots of comments such as.... 'rather you than me', gosh, are they all yours', 'I hope you're stopping now' etc etc
To me, my kids are a blessing, not a hassle. But I'm terrified of saying we're having another one.
I love being a mum. I do it all myself and although I find it tiring, I love bringing up my girls. As long as I'm organised, I don't find it too difficult.
We are both in our 30s and are fortunate to be pretty well off and live in a large house so that side of it isn't a worry.
We've always wanted to have four children and this will be my last pregnancy so I'd love people to be happy for me. Why do you think people can be so negative? How should I respond?
Thanks everyone.

Ignore them,smile serenely,they're just jealous!

Lots and lots of congrats by the way

Thank you so much - that's made me really happy! Lovely to share our news with someone x

Congratulations!
I am on number 4 too, due Sept. I had a whole host of negative reactions when pg with my 3rd; like it's an unwritten rule 'thou shalt not have more than 2 kids'.
So reaction to 4 has been, to be quite honest, shite.
We are not financially great; never have been tbh, but not for want of trying, just the joys of being self employed!
'How will you cope?' being a favourite question. How the feck do you think I am going to 'cope'? The same way as the last three times!!
I don't know, maybe it is jealousy? This will be my final pregnancy and I am damned if negative reactions will ruin it! Good luck and may you bloom proudly!

Big congrats to you. Am !!

I think a lot of people aren't really cut out to be parents actually. And many have a 2nd child for all the wrong reasons (they think having an only child might look odd, the "normal" number is 2 etc etc). So when people have larger families they transfer some of their own insecurities or inadequacies onto others, as in because there is no way they could cope or manage with 3, 4, 5 whatever, they find it impossible to be positive about others doing it. Or there's a jealousy thing; how do you afford it? How can you be a more proficient parent than me? Etc etc. Don't know if that makes sense.

Anyway, I was one of 4, I only have one so far, have had 2MCs TTC#2. Would love another, and if I had the time (am wrong side of 40) would carry on.

So in brief I say "sod 'em". Enjoy your lovely family x

congratulations!, i know the feeling well im expecting my planned 6th ,the eldist been 9 an youngist 2 im due in july.
an i was the same an still am ,i hide my bump alot because of people staring at us an i just know every time you tell some one or they notice all i get is " gosh are you mad" or " was it an accident??" not one congratulations!!
im forever pointing out that im married to the father of all 6 of my children an we own are own home an he works very hard to support us. you only live once i say live it with no regrets!

Congratulations! We have also just fgound out no4 is on its way, well be due 7th Dec we think (a mothers day present lol) Our eldest is ds 5,dd3 then ds 1 (hell be 2 and a half when its born which will be our largest gap). It`ll be hard work but we get so much joy from the kids and have always wanted a big family. Not looking forward to the sickness but itl be worth it! Xx

congratulations..Im on baby number 5(due in 4 weeks and very meticulously planned) and regularly get.."oh have you worked out how its happening" etc etc..I just ignore

Congratulations! i am one of four girls and i LOVE it! I recall comments over the years like 'gosh are they all yours?' but i never saw us as a big family, i guess because i always just saw three sisters and my mum and dad! We're all very close probably because we always had to chip in and help each other and my mum. And when we're all together it's one big happy chatty gathering. Ignore the negative comments, you are incredibly lucky!

Congratulations.
Im currently 25 wks with no 4. I have Dd1 who's 5 Ds1 whos 3 and Dd2 who's 2, the school lolly pop lady asked if it was planned !!! I dont even use her to cross the road. I keep getting asked if we have a TV so last time I replied "yes but I love sex more" - that shut them up.
A good point was that my 2 bil's were talking about it and one said we all know its Dh more than me which was nice as I usually get accused of making him have more children .

Congratulations! I'm the 3rd of 3 and love my siblings like anything - now we're all grown up they're fantastic (esp as I'm now pg with my 1st, and they've both got kids, and are willing to listen to me moan/ask questions!) - I am thrilled to have two siblings, and I think your four are going to be a lucky, happy bunch.

I'd call people out on their rudeness, if I were you. "We're delighted, actually" with a big smile, or even trot out "Gosh, do you realise how rude you sound?" with an incredulous smile. Sod'em

Mum of 5 here -- mine are a bit more spread out. People are just rude and thoughtless, and many think they're the first one to ever say anything clever like "Have you figured out why this keep happening?" I like Blackcurrant's idea, and also suggest, if there are questions, "Why do you want to know?"

I would just say I'm so excited to tell you, I've always wanted four children and I'm pregnant! or we're so lucky, not trying for long and here I am pregnant. Just say when you are anouncing it that it was planned and then it would be really rude for someone to say anyting other than congratulations.

I know just how you feel. I delayed telling everyone about pregnancy of DC4 due to the negative comments i knew i would received which would bring me down. I had 15 month gap between DC2 and DC3 then only 13 month gap between 3 and 4. Everyone assumed it was an accident and were hurtful.
Many congratulations to you, Try to ignore them and save your energy for taking care of your lovely big family!

CONGRATULATIONS

I'm sorry you are feeling like this

You should be able to tell everyone and have them be thrilled for you - especially when you are comfortably off (I know it shouldn't matter, but people worry for you when you're struggling a bit then are preg again).

I think I might have inadvertantly put my foot in it before when someone is due with a 4th/5th baby - it's just more unusual these days - but I would never have meant it negatively! (I'd have said something daft like 'Oh God really - are you mad?' 'You do know what causes it don't you?' - but all while grinning like a cheshire cat - I love babies!!). I'd be thrilled for you, if you were thrilled!!

I also think the way you tell people also causes some of the responses - if you are all excited an upbeat then people will mirror that - if you're a bit tired, quiet, foot shuffling when you tel them they'll mirror that! So, don't mutter 'I'm pregnant' tell the world 'I am so excited, we have some great news - I'm pregnant!!!'

Thank you all so, so much for all your messages. They've really made me smile this morning, especially those of you who are from big families and love it. I will bloom proudly and enjoy my final pregnancy! Love to you all and good luck to all of you expecting. Mrs Z x

huge congrats to you mrs z (and all of you who are expecting more babies!)

reading this id really making me broody..we have 3, and are wrestling with the idea of our 4th...head says no, but heart says yes!

you enjoy your pregnancy, and stuff everyone else!

Congratulations - I am due in 4 weeks with our (surprise!) number 4, and to be honest I've had lots of positive comments (as well as the obvious ones about television, contraception and coping!); I just smile and say something positive and happy - it's all you can do really.

Enjoy your pregnancy and wear your bump with pride!

(whisper) Me too, shoneshine, but I've not told anyone yet!