Whats a good reason to want another baby??

[Cherrybaby]

Hi peeps

my DS has just turned 1 year old, and I'm thinking about TTC for number 2.
I think it would be good for them to grow up together as I only want two - and also better for me career-wise in the long term, to have them together and then go back to work once both are in school/nursery. Hubby is also happy with the idea of having another baby.

The only thing is....I don't know if this is a good idea. I keep thinking that although the reasons I have for wanting to have another baby now are reasonable, I should be only having another baby when I really, desperately want another baby - and thats it. I don't feel especially broody - the thought of another baby is nice and I feel confident that I will manage both very well.

but im not innately craving another child - and I feel as thought thats a pre-requisite for having a second planned baby.
The more I think about it now, the more confused I am becoming with my own reasoning.
Any thoughts, anyone?

My dh and I are trying to decide if we want to try for dc3, and have come to the conclusion that there is no logical reason to have another child. You just have to go with your feelings, I think.

If you do come up with a really good reason to have another one, let me know so I can use it next time my dh starts voicing doubts!

What does TTC and DS mean? x

I think it's awful to get to the stage of craving a baby! I have wanted one since my son was 18months old and have been in tears everytime I see a pregnant woman!

I am now pregnant and my son will be 3 next month after finally persuading my hubby. You don't know how long you will be trying to concieve and your reasons seems good enough to me.

People have babies for all sorts of reasons many of which are not as good as yours so I'd say go for it. You will feel more into it once pregnant, you sound very sorted.

TTC trying to conceive

DS darling son

Check out the acronyms at the top of the page!

I actually think your reasons are perfectly normal and reasonable.
The crazy desperate feelings usually come when a woman knows there's something stopping her whether than be her body, her partner or finances. I cannot imagine that is a very nice place to be.

You both want a second child, you are able to look after that child and provide for it and I'm sure you would love it just as much as you do your first.

Unless you have a niggling doubt about having a second and this is how it's manifesting itself then I'd say go for it!

Good luck!

I'd just start trying and see what happens - it can take some couples a long while for their second.

I have never felt any desperate need for a DC. DD is now 16 months and I'm pregnant with #2 due in June. I am also glad to have two for the balance in the family, company growing up and a chance for me to get back into work next year with all pregnancy stuff done. We ttc number one because we both felt life would be fuller with children in it than without - but no massive procreation urge.

I think all your reasons are good reasons like mine and just because they aren't accompanied by some huge emotional rush doesn't mean that my daughter and baby en route aren't very loved and wanted. I just simply have never felt broody - I wanted to have children with my DH once I met him and married him, but not any desperation to do so if it hadn't happened.

If I had found myself infertile maybe I would've had that desperate urge surface, not sure.

lol kathsunn - I will let you in on the profound truth once I get it myself
th
thanks peeps, I knew I'd get some sound advice here....now that I think about it, it makes sense why i'm not feeling that desperate urge - im nearly 26 so the clock isnt ticking at all. Also, I do think there is the hidden fear somewhere that if I don't desperately wish for these babies, I won't love them as much - which, when acknowledged, is a load of rubbish!

I desperately wanted DS1. I was bananas broody for DS2. There is only a 15mth gap between them. I thought I would wait til i felt the same way about TTC DC3. I just didnt seem to get there. Then it just hit me that I didnt want to be in my late 30's having another baby and I knew at some stage I would want a third baby so just decided to go for it. Funny thing is as we were trying for a baby recession depression kicked in and suddenly financially things were stacked up against us and DH was questioning whether it was wise to concieve. The minute he had doubts all of a sudden all I wanted was this baby! Luckily nature intervened and I didnt have to worry. Am now all excited and glad worry didnt get in the way! Its a funny ol world! You will know when you know!

I think you should wait untill you REALLY want and are ready for another baby, rather than just 'we may aswell do it now'
If DS hasn't reached the terrible twos yet you may not have afull idea of howmuch work i can be, my boy was pretty easy untill aged 18-24 months, now he's 3 and all hell still breaks lose. I'm due another next week!
Think I may have waited untill DS1 was aged 4and in school if I did it again in all honesty, the pregnancy has been really hard picking him off the floor when he's had his public tantrums and all, we got through it, but arg only just.
Saying that, your kids might be good and it'll be lovely to have the small gap, who knows...

Sounds like a good time to have another to me! I've never felt especially broody. DS was a surprise and we reasoned along very similar lines to yourself about getting pregnant again and I got my BFP last weekend (DS is now 18mths)

Just because you're not gushing with hormones at the sight of every buggy doesn't mean you can't have a child! You've reasoned it out and are making sure that your child will be born into a really good environment where the conditions are right - good luck!

I speak as a mother of three - each subsequent baby is even more wonderful than the last and it gets easier because you are more experienced as a mother.
I think if you get broody and really want a baby you bond more though. That applies to anything you want badly and then get, you love it to pieces because you wanted it so much.

{chocolate]

DS is 17 months and I'm 16 weeks pregnant. I didn't really have any urge to have this baby - not to say I'm not excited, I'm thrilled. With DS it was that overwhelming, I-can't-go-on-if-I-don't-have-a-baby-now, broodiness. This time I was much more rational; I want a big family, I don't want to be not working/working part-time for 10/15 years and I wanted DS to have a sibling relatively close in age. We went for it and I got pregnant on the first attempt.

I wonder if that overwhelming broodiness ever returns after having your first. I clearly didn't wait long enough to see!

jemart that's nice mesage and soothes my own fears about managing two babies. I,m pg with DC2 and have a Ds who will be 20mnths when baby is due. I,m a older mum so can't really afford to leave a big gap between the two, however in saying that, I really wanted another child and became broody rather quickly after my DS was born...maybe mother nature hurrying me up, dunno...just felt I wanted two children.I,m lucky it happened so quickly for us as I had 3mcs before my Ds and was worried I couldn't have kids.It's funny how things turn out

red, I never had the overwhelming urge you describe for the first either!!
I guess that could be 'mistaken' for being a self absorbed twat ....

Yes redllamayellowllama is does return after your first and I had it for over a year. Got gradually worse to the point where I'd spend hours crying when I got my period even though we had been using contracteption and there was no way I was pregnant, just felt another chance was lost!

Finally persuaded my husband for no. 2 but he's already got another son from a previous relationship and doesn't want anymore after this one so I really hope that feeling doesn't come back again after this one!

Just to share my history. I was in my 30s before meeting my husband so any children were going to be on the agenda sooner rather than later. It took 8 months to conceive and then since we wanted at least two children we thought we would let nature take it's course and so 12 months later number 2 came along.

They were both girls and perhaps because a lot of my family have one of each there was a greater desire to have more children though we wanted a bigger gap. We weren't quite careful enough and our son arrived 20 months later.

I always wanted 2 or 4 children as both my parents were one of three and felt there was always someone left out when they were growing up but now I had 3 under 3 year of age and it was pretty hard work.

We agonised for a long time and then as I hit 39 decided it was not or never and to our surprise our youngest (a girl) arrived just over 3 years after my son.

That was nearly 3 years ago and I am very happy with my big family. They do split into two's to play and though hard work it is great.

I am trying to say that we planned and chose the children (as best we could) with an end result in mind. You seemed to have planned a sensible family unit with 2 children close together. I would say go for it. You can't know the pay-off until you have your family. Looking at my friends I would say a large age gap is harder to cope with as a family than a small one. Hope it helps.