Please tell me I am going to cope.

[Momdeguerre]

Bad week. I am 38 weeks pg, long, complicated pg. Have a CS next week and am scared stupid. My usually adorable 20 month old DS is teething and ill so has been up every night for the past few weeks and is just misrable and demmanding.

To add insult to injury my beloved dog became suddenly ill on Wednesday and I had to have her put to sleep and my DH has just been recalled to work and will now be on 12 hr nights until a day before my CS.

Right now I can honestly say I just want to sit and cry. Have no idea how I am going to manage.

Hi Momdeguerre.

Firstly, have a good cry - don't hold it in!

Ok, now to the practicalities: What sort of support will you have after the birth? Is your husband going to be able to take some time off? Is there anyone else - anyone supportive and that you trust with your 20 month old - that could come and help out for a while?

You will need some physical help with lifting for a while, and you have the best chance of recovering quickly (physically and mentally) if you are able to get some rest for a couple of weeks.

It is possible to get through with less support, but if you can arrange that extra help, it will b massively beneficial.

Keep us posted x

Thanks MM. DH is great and will be off for three weeks after my CS. Just wish he was going to be about a bit before.

Accidently posted this twice but struggling to get any childcare help between now and then as I am still at work till Thurs and we are lucky that family help out with that. Am sure I could put them out if I had too but am loathe to burden them.

I know it is pathetic, might opt for a bit of a cry and then slap myself sensible!

Right, first things first.

Do not be 'loathe to burden' your family.You are 38 weeks pregnant with a young child. NOW is the time to be roping in extra favours if ever there was a time.

Could you arrange a day or two (or a few afternoons/mornings) of childcare by relatives between now and your due date, so you can catch up with much needed rest?

What's your 20 mth old like? Is he/she high maintenance. Well, I know they all are at that age, but are they entertained by a DVD or CBeebies for an hour or so? If yes, make heavy use of this without guilt until your due date. No harm done and will give you time to lie on the sofa!

Fantastic that your husband has 3 weeks off. If he can both really take it very seriously that you need your rest for at least the first fortnight if not the whole 3 weeks, you will be getting a great start on recovery. You may feel totally fine to walk about and do light household stuff within a few days, but DO NOT OVERDO IT. Get takeaways/husband to cook quick meals, delegate all housework and get your husband to take your 20 mth old out every day for an hour or two so you can sleep/bond with your newborn.

You'll be fine. Honest. It is do-able. And the feel-good hormones will kick-in once your baby is here to replace all those grumpy pregnancy hormones. You'll get an adrenalin surge. You will survive!

meant to say in third para 'If you can both take it seriously'

fourth para even!

Totally agree with Minnie's advice about roping in support, snatching half an hour of CBeebies time for a quick rest if possible, and taking it easy round the house and at meal times. Just work on getting through the day!

Just wanted to add that I'm really sorry about your dog. I have two and remember when we had to put down a previous pet how traumatic it is. Don't feel silly about grieving for him/ her, s/he was a part of your life, you home and your daily routine, and it's bound to feel sad and take a while to adjust.

Best of luck with everything -you will be absoultely fine -just take one step at a time!

Also remember that coping with a toddler and a newborn is MUCH EASIER than being heavily pregnant and coping with a toddler. IMVHO.

MM and Bird - thanks. DH is fab so am very lucky. I know he will do his best when baby arrives and I will try and take it steady.

I think you are right - I really do feel like I need some help.

My dog really does make me sad. We worked together so she was actually my right arm at times and saved me from more than a few unpleasant incidents. Hard to explain but she really was a very brave and special animal. Glad we are lucky enough to have our lovely DS and another DC on the way.

Cbeebies is going on!

Thanks HC, that is reassuring.

So sorry about your dog, Momdeguerre. That's a very sad thing to happen, and so close to giving birth. No wonder you are feeling all over the place.

Last word from me - do NOT be shy about asking for help. Even if it;s just ringing a fried and saying 'Could you do a spot of food shopping for me?'. Seriously. Most people will want to help out, even if just in a small way.

Thanks again, I hate the thought of imposing but I think this is the nudge I needed. I really have not been feeling like I was coping. Losing my dog has just been the final straw really.

Worried that it is going to effect me after the birth unless I can get a grip. I am sure I can find someone to help.

Second Humphrey, it will be much easier when it is born and this difficult time will be a distant memory.

I am also 38 weeks pg with a 20 month old and have just asked my 78 year old grandparents to take DS for the day . They have been offering for weeks (we usually go round and spend the day there together on a Monday) and they are very fit and healthy for their age but I still feel crap about it. But I slept really badly last night and will have no help Wednesday - Friday so decided to take the help offered. My DH is also very good which makes me feel worse for being so useless at the moment, but hopefully it is only another couple of weeks at the most. Am counting on the positive energy hormones arriving once baby arrives!

Thanks shortmemory.

Intergalactic - comforting to know that it seems to be normal to feel tired with being this pg and with a toddler to look after. Hope that your next couple of weeks go smoothly.