Am I being ungrateful - 2nd hand baby stuff

[WaddlingAway]

Have changed name for this in case I'm recognised.

3rd baby due in May, unplanned (but welcome) so we'd got rid of all our baby stuff.

DH's cousin has offered some stuff as youngest is now 2 (they've been trying get rid of it for a while), however they smoke. Whilst they doesn't smoke in the house I'm sure the smell must travel, they live a couple of hours away and I haven't been to their house so can't be sure.

Am I being ungrateful? We could do with saving the cost but I'd rather buy second hand from a non-smoking house.

Also, how do we refuse? I'm already seen as "high'n'mighty" as we decided to keep wedding small (long story!). Would it be really unethical to accept the stuff and than freecycle? The chance of them bothering to visit is very, very slim so they'd never know.

Sorry it's long. Thanks!

Why not take the stuff and if it does stink just not use it?

I smoke to and like VKs most people are very surprised when they find out I smoke - most common comment being "you don't look like a smoker" - what are smokers meant to look like? We don't all have yellow teeth and wrinkles - well not yet anyway!

Don't think it's hysteria, just think lots of mummies are just worried about their babies.
WaddlingAway, I'd go with the general consensus; wash the baby clothes (as I'd hope anyone accepting second hand goods would do!), because you never know when it's just too much effort to wash anymore clothes, and if you're not sure about moses basket etc then avoid hurting feelings by saying that you already have those things/suggest someone who is more in need. I'm sure no one thinks you're 'high and mighty' because you had a small wedding, or because you've delayed on a few second hand baby items

porcamiseria, it's got to be said, the only one who sounds hysterical is you.

I wouldn't touch a moses basket that has come from a household with smokers, even if they do "only smoke outside" (because frankly, most smokers who claim this are talking arse water, and I know, I used to be one).

DH's parents bought DS some lovely clothes for his birthday, they never smoke upstairs, the clothes were brought straight upstairs and put away in a drawer (I know because they proudly told me to show the safety considerations they thought they had gone to) and the clothes, the plastic bag they were in and the wrapping paper they were wrapped in all reeked to high heaven of stale fag smoke.

I think it's a bit insulting to say that smokers lie about smoking indoors - I don't know anyone with kids who smokes that smokes in the house.

I'm like lal and VK - people don't know I smoke and I've sold things on ebay which are from a smoke-free house (because it's true) and not one has been returned because it's smells of smoke.

You mean you don't know anyone with children who admits to smoking indoors. I think people delude themselves. I never thought I smelled of smoke when I smoked, and I couldn't smell it on anyone else either. By God I can now.

I frequently buy stuff on ebay that is allegedly from a smoke free home and can smell smoke on it. Frankly if washing it will sort (which in the case of clothes it will) I can't be arsed to get into a dispute about it and cock up my perfect feedback score over it.

Ladybiscuit - VK just said she smokes in the house when her child is in bed (and we all know how smoke obediently stays in the living room ). So there's one for a starter that you know.

And I've bought stuff from a smoke free home that either reeks of smoke or of Febreze and smoke . I too would wash and then complain if it still stank.

Well I don't know her I don't smoke in the house. Ever. And I've never sprayed anything with febreze.

Yes, I did say that I smoke when DS is in bed. So shoot me and flame away.

I also said that the reason people say are shocked that I smoke is quote "You don't smell like you smoke" and "It doesn't smell of smoke, you'd never know that anyone has smoked in here".

I never claimed not to smell of smoke or that my place doesn't. I said others tell me that.

I also advised OP to lie. I am an oddball, as I am a late night smoker that also hates the smell of smoke. I can't bear to walk behind someone smoking in the street or to sit with others smoking (hence why when I need one I do it privately!)

I smoked (thoug not now when PG) and I PROMISE that we only smoke in the garden, we stopped smoking indoors when I was PG first time. As a now-non-smoking-smell-sensitive PG person I can assure you that my house does NOT smell of smoke, and nor do the baby things either!

I have quite a few friends that smoke outside and away from the kids and their houses don' stink either

Its just bugs me that people seem to assume that all smokers have 30 B&H a day puffing in the same room as their babies!

I do not approve of smoking around small children, but there IS a level of unfounded hysteria that is especially prevalant on this website IMO