30 weeks, emotional + worried about DS

[LJAM]

like many 4 years olds, ds picks up a lot of bugs, viruses etc. his specialities are croup, chest infections and sore throats. you'd think after 4 years i'd be able to take this all in my stride but i worry so so much about him that it makes me feel crazy.

and i'm about 10 weeks from my due date for number 2 - if i worry this much about one how will i cope with 2?

dh is supportive but thinks i'm quite mad. at the moment i feel quite mad - can't concentrate on stuff, feel like i want to cry, anxious, tired. pathetic really. would love a glass of wine!

any advice on how to be a bit less uptight?

oh god you sound like me! I'd honestly put it down to hormones, bad to make excuses like this, but I honestly think there's truth in it. Your body is all over the place just now and you have so much on your mind, worrying about everything in your life.
I've got a nearly 3yo and it is a strain being pg and trying to make sure he's fine all the time.
If you are anything like me you are slightly anxious at what the future is going to hold with two DC on the scene.
And yes, I agree, a glass of wine would really go down a treat right now!!!!

so nice to know it's not just me . if it is hormones, today's dose is particularly brutal - would love some of those chilled out happy hormones to make an appearance at some point.

i am definitely anxious about the future and how i'll cope with another baby. didn't find it so easy last time and now with a child as well, really not sure how i'll get through. but also feel so lucky to be having another. all v confusing.

my thoughts are very similar to yours really. I'm anxious about what the future holds after the baby arrives and how I'll cope when DH has to go back to work and I'm on my own. I know everyone just gets on with it and copes but it's the fear of the unknown!!

DH often points out how everyone else is able to get on with it and that i should do the same. i think from the outside it probably looks like i do. and there are some days when i feel like i do.

but then there are a lot of days when i feel like i don't cope at all and i'm a complete disaster. i feel completely overwhelmed. i just want someone who knows what they're doing to swoop in and take over. i think the responsibility of babies / young kids is what overwhelms me. i find it impossible to switch off.

DH can switch off knowing that i'm on duty all the time.

for me it's the sleepless nights I'm dreading. I know what's to come and how I'm going to deal with sleep exhaustion as well as a toddler I've no idea...but I'm sure I'll cope, what choice do we have!

I agree with you, motherhood is certainly overwhelming at times. There are days when I think 'oh I could just run a mile!' but would never do it.

I'm trying to relax about what's to come but v difficult isn't it? The pg is already halfway and I don't know how! time is just flying by with the second pg.

I also think I'm better with children than with babies which is daft because we all have to go through the newborn stage to get the toddler then the child stage...

completely agree with you about feeling like i'm better with children than with babies. i think that's fair enough though - i was never the type to coo over other people's babies and had v little exposure to babies before DS came along. although i adored DS at every stage, i remember also wishing his babyhood away - and obviously feeling bad about that.

sleep deprivation and breast feeding are the two things that scare me the most about new baby. along with constant and irrational fears about whether he'll be healthy / normal!

hello both
just saw this and had to comment - i hope you don't mind...
i'm 39+2 and just wanted to say - firstly you're completely normal and this sounds very familiar!! secondly I was MUCH more unhappy and uncomfortable at 30 weeks than I am now - baby has dropped somewhat, hormones have settled (i think...?!) and things are much more "zen" if that is the right term.....I've spent a LOT of time with DD and though, of course I worry about her and the effect the baby will have on her, I also know that giving her a sibling is one of the greatest things I can do for her LONG TERM, despite whatever the next couple of months will do to us?!! My DH is the second child and makes the other point that she's had over 2 years more of just Us time than any of our subsequent children will have...
And finally - have a glass of wine if you really want it?! Not pushing you to do something if you don't believe in it, but most midwives i know say 2 units a week isn't the worst thing in the world.....and I've pushed that a couple of times myself anyway!
Just relax, enjoy your last couple of months being pg, and enjoy your DSes, you are both great mums by the sounds of it, and you'll continue that with no2

I bet we are not the only ones out there who feel these same feelings - yes I can also relate to the irrational fears of whether the baby is normal or not. I wasn't convinced DS was ok until he was born even though scans and MW appts stated otherwise - talk about being paranoid!!

I also wished DSs babyhood away, just wanted him to be sleeping through so I could get a decent night's sleep. so ridiculous now when I think of it, because I didn't enjoy him as much as I should have and it's something I feel quite sad about looking back.

Do you know what you're having this time round? This will be another boy for us.

34 weeks with DC2, and having an inch of wine. Got sleepless nights already as have SPD and DD age 3 has a virus so high fever at night etc.
Wine is helping...
We will be ok... if not, people would never have more than 2!

thanks MummyElk. DH would have a heart attack if i had a glass of wine - bless him, he's given up drinking for the pregnancy as encouragement.

lovechoc, we're also having another boy. DS is v excited about being a big brother and i'm really pleased for him that we can give him a sibling.

do you think you'll do it differently this time?

Yes Dwayne stuffing myself silly with choc does help temporarily about the worry and then I just worry the rest of the time!

LJAM I think I'll probably take to BFing alot easier than with DS1. I found it was a really struggle, but I want to be a bit more chilled out about it. And I will also be more assertive and stipulate when I want visitors round, rather than letting everyone and their granny in just after having DS2. Afterall, we need to rest don't we?!

I will also be forgetting about housework as much - sleep definately more important! I don't want to risk PND this time round, because I was on the slippery slope last time and it was not pleasant. I think I just expected too much of myself..