Your thoughts on me going on a hen weekend at 36 weeks pregnant

[remaincalm]

I have been invited to a very close friend's hen weekend. It will involve dinner and dancing. The thing is, I am not sure if I should go.
I have a few concerns, firstly, to get there I will have to go on the train by myself, so have to carry my bag. The girls have planned an activity in the daytime which I will be too preggo to get involved in. Then dinner and dancing at a club. One of my friends has said that I can stay at hers that night but I know that they will be out late and I don't want to be a party pooper by saying that I want to go early.
I just don't know what to do, I'll be 36 weeks then and I'm just not sure if I'll be able to handle the pace!
What are your thoughts?

At 36 weeks, you will be tired and uncomfy, but if you fancy it then don't let it put you off.

Unfortunately it is impossible to tell how good or bad you will be feeling by that stage.

It really comes down to how enthusiastic you are about it.

Oh and should add, you will probably be uncomy and tired whatever you are doing, even relaxing at home!

how pregnant are you now?

I've got the same problem, invited to a hen weekend when I will be 37 weeks!

I've told my friend I will 'do my best' to come, but to be honest I think I will cry off at the last minute. This is DC2 and I remember what I was like first time round at 37 weeks - a big fat grumpy hippo! Plus I wouldn't feel comfortable travelling alone at that stage in pregnancy - you are technically full-term at 37 weeks so could actually go into labour at any time!

As someone else said, if you really want to go then do, but it might be best to just plan a special lunch or something with your friend instead.

I'm 27 weeks now and already "feeling it". This is my DC2 and I remember with the first that I was pretty tired at 36 weeks, DD arrived at 39 weeks.
I just don't want to let her down and I know I'll be kicking myself if I say no and then when it get to the day I would have felt ok to go. It is that not knowing how you are going to feel that is so annoying.
I do need to let the girls know soon as they have to book things and I have to give money etc.

I felt worse with DS2 at 36/37 weeks than with DS1 as 2nd babies don't engage so quickly so was much more out of breath and uncomfortable.

Can you leave it a couple of weeks and make a decision?

i think it sort of depends on exactly how far away it is (distance-wise)... i went last weekend to london for an engagement party and christening at 37 wks pg, had a LOVELY time, didn't tire myself out too much and just took things very much at my own pace. i've found the last few weeks of pg much more comfortable than i was at 30 wks pg, think it's to do with the baby moving down a bit more....
if you can guarantee that you get a bit of time to yourself, get to put your feet up at some point and won't be dragged from club to club in the evening, then I would try and go, it sounds like you want to?
if not i agree with others, do a special lunch or something with your friend, she'll understand. they'd much rather you didn't mess them around i expect...

Im off to Hen weekend in a few weeks when ill be 32 weeks. Had a few wobbles about it to start with as its 3 hours away and for a long weekend, but there will be no partying. We are in a cottage in Exmoor, going Horseriding(obviously not me!) and a spa day which I cant wait for! Plus im getting a lift from someone so dont have to drive as I didnt want to travel alone.

If it had been a clubby one then I prob wouldnt have gone.
I agree that you will be big and uncomfortable. Little chance of sitting down anywhere and will have to wait for them to finish which could be very late.

The actual wedding is when im 37 weeks and the other side of the country so that will be fun! But DH is with me so I feel more comfortable with that and DD was 2 weeks late so doubt ill be early this time.
The reception is at the hotel we are staying in and have a 20mth DD with us so can use her as an excuse to sneak off early.

it depends on the travelling - if that was manageable - I would go but leave at 11ish - explain to your friend that you will have to be a party pooper as you can't cope with late nights, plus they will be getting drunk so will not be fun to hang around with them.

If the travel is worrying you (I would be ok going there by train before dinner - depending on distance) but less ok about coming back later when you are tired - can you get a taxi or get picked up? If its too far (eg staying with a friend - could you get a taxi to hers if she is still there?) - and how far would it be for your OH to get there is the really unlikely event you went into labour?

I have just agreed to go from London-Liverpool by train for with work including an overnight in a hotel at 37 weeks, so maybe I am bad person to ask. Am travelling each way with my boss!

It is about 3 hours away in London. My hubby is on the stag that weekend so can't come to save me. I have asked him what he thinks and he is not bothered, just said that I should do what I want, not much help really. I think he is just pleased that he can go on the stag - men!
I'm verging towards not going but I just feel so bad.

just to say don't feel you'll be letting her down if that's what's worrying you - several people dropped out of my hen weekend at the last minute with much more flimsy excuses than being heavily pregnant! I didn't hold it against them. I'm sure your friend will understand.

You do have a very good reason for not going and im sure she would understand.

My friend is made up that Im going to hers but said she completely understands if I didnt.
Lots of her other friends have dropped out for silly reasons.

I personally would rather not go than risk ruining her fun by her worrying about me all night.

Can you go just to the dinner bit, pre-booking a cab to get you back to the train station? You might want a relaxed meal by then. And can have a good snooze on the train there and back.

Might be worth talking to DP about how he would get to you if you did go into labour while he's on the stag do.

Good point notcitrus. DD came a week early and I've been told this time to not be surprised if DC2 comes early.

Do not go!! You are heavily pregnant and probably have an instinct to stay 'homey' and take it easy. This instinct is for a reason.

Your friends will understand (if not now, when they are pregnant themselves)- and if they don't understand- who cares, you will have had a lovely cosy weekend with feet up and early nights!!

You cannot carry on your 'old life' and you should not cave into pressure to do so. Being 36 weeks pregnant means you should stop and take it easy and not carry on as you used to- this is the transition to motherhood and a taste of things to come- enjoy!!

I'd ask your friend if you can say yes you will go, on the understanding that you don't know what you will feel like until the weekend in question and reserve the right to change your mind. You might feel up to it, you might not - who knows?

FWIW I went to a music festival in a field at 38 weeks and was happy to camp but OH talked me into going home, and at 39 weeks we ventured out into the floods of a couple of summers ago so that OH could join his band playing at a charity gig in a barn. Again, we took our tent but drove home instead. Of course we went everywhere with the obligatory notes! None of this means I was superwoman - it just means I was feeling well at the time and enjoyed a last couple of nights out. You have to have your last night out sans baby at some point!

I personally wouldn't go. I had ds at 37 weeks and dd was also a little early. The part that would worry me the most is travelling alone on a train....

Any decent friend would totally understand - it's hardly an excuse, just a fact!

If you really want to go though, then just make sure you have a plan with DH should you need him. And pre-book a cab back to the station. Oh, and make sure you have your notes