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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Driving from London to Southampton when 34 weeks - would you?

20 replies

Abubu · 26/02/2010 22:48

Hi,

I am pg with DD3, due near the end of April.

I have been asked to be a bridesmaid for a friend who is getting marrried in September.

She has asked if I can travel to Southampton to meet her and my other friend who is a bridesmaid in about 1.5 weeks time when I will be 34 weeks pregnant. I live in South west London.
I would be going for a first look at bridesmaid dresses, although obviously I wont be able to try any on - I will just have to look at my other friend trying them on and give my opinion I guess.

At the time I said I thought I would probably be ok up until the end of March at latest, when I will be a month off.

I don't want to let her down but have started to worry about driving all the way there. Partly in case I go in to early labour while I am alone on the motorway but also just because I feel so tired and uncomfortable already.

Would I be crazy to do this - would you do it?

Thx

OP posts:

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displayuntilbestbefore · 26/02/2010 22:51

I went from the north west to Cardiff (3/4 hrs drive) when I was 34 wks pregnant with ds1 and from Devon to Lancashire when I was 35 wks pregnant with ds3 but I was with dh so wasn't travelling alone.
If you can't try dresses on anyway and you are nervous about it I'm sure your friend would understand you asking to do the trip after your baby is born.

choosyfloosy · 26/02/2010 22:53

Would going on the train be better or worse?

TBH if you hate the idea, don't. Ask them to text you pictures of what they find

vanitypear · 26/02/2010 22:53

Have you thought about the train? Goes direct from Clapham (presumably not too far if you are SW and maybe you get someone to take you/pick you up). At least you can move about and relax for a bit.
I had a similar journey at similar stage and took the train and it was quite nice (booked a seat obviously)!

bibbitybobbityhat · 26/02/2010 22:55

Look, I don't want to be unkind, but you are pregnant, not ill or in any danger.

You are talking about a drive of less than a hundred miles.

You will come across as ridiculously cautious and precious if you use your pregnancy as an excuse not to do this.

Some women at your stage of pregnancy do a commute like this every day.

Original poster

Abubu · 26/02/2010 22:56

Hi,

TBH I think getting a train would worry me even more. I personally always prefer driving over public transport and I would worry that if I went in to early labour I would then be stuck and not even be able to turn around quickly and try to go back home.

Plus it is a there and back in one day thing and not sure I can handle 2 trains in one day.

OP posts:

displayuntilbestbefore · 26/02/2010 22:58

Good idea to go by train. It would probably make the journey quicker and you won't be alone in case anything did happen. Just make sure you take your notes with you for peace of mind and enjoy the luxury of a quiet journey reading a book or magazine before travelling is accompanied by the repetitive "Are we nearly there yet?"

WelliesAndPyjamas · 26/02/2010 22:59

I'd do it.

Do you have a history of early labour?

Tangle · 26/02/2010 23:01

I declined to go to ILs for Christmas, when I would have been about 35 weeks pregnant with DD2. One of my reasons was the drive, which is just under 2 hours (they tend to really "do" Christmas and so really wanted about a months notice, and I didn't want to commit that far in advance - I could have done it but not sure I'd have wanted to...)

IMO its a very personal decision. Would you be going there and back in the same day?

I think if it were me, I think I'd call the bride and talk through my concerns. I'd say that I really didn't want to let her down and I'd do my best to get there but, depending on how things were going, I might have to cancel on the day and try and find a back up plan. I'd go in on the logic that if she's a good enough friend to want me as a bridesmaid then she's a good enough friend to understand.

Have you looked at going by train? Assuming you wouldn't be going on a commuter train you'd have more space and the ability to move around might make the whole thing bearable?

Original poster

Abubu · 26/02/2010 23:02

Hi,

No I dont have a history of early labour, but my mum had my brother at 34 weeks so it is on my mind that it is of course possible (dont know if there is any genetic link to these things or not?).

I have actually only been pg once before even though this is my 3rd DD as I had twins last time...

OP posts:

humptynumpty · 26/02/2010 23:03

Abubu no disrespect, but I am also 34 weeks pregnant and planning a trip from Glasgow to Portsmouth for a 48 hour visit to my inlaws. Fair enough I'm not driving, dh is, but still 9 hours in the car each way with 2 kids under 5 plus bump.
Don't really understand what you are worried about? Being alone and going into labour? If so, make sure you take your maternity notes with you.
Breaking down etc... make sure your AA/RAC membership is up to date and if you break down, make sure you tell them that you are heavily pregnant and alone and they will make you high priority.
Please try not to worry, you will be fine. But if you really don't want to go I'm sure your friend will understand

moodlum · 26/02/2010 23:04

If you're in SW london, just get the A3 then A31 then M3 - its a piece of cake and just over an hour, if that. Its really not the end of the earth, and there are hospitals all along the way, so I wouldn't worry in the slightest.

Ivykaty44 · 26/02/2010 23:05

you could get the train - and at least rest on the journey there and back.

I went to newcastle about 240 miles when I was 36 weeks - I didn't drive though but went for a weekend away (took my hospital bag just in case!) dd2 was born three weeks later

Original poster

Abubu · 26/02/2010 23:05

I think I may have to think about it. I've been having a bit of a teary night as feeling fed up. I feel I have more going on at the moment than I can handle while being pg and looking after twin toddlers. I'm not finishing work until 38 weeks, in the process of trying to move house etc.

I just wondered if it would be better if I told her sooner rather than letting her down at last minute.

Will sleep on it I think.
Thx

OP posts:

Hanicka · 27/02/2010 12:18

It is a very personal choice and everyone feels very different during pregnancy. I have friend who was able to travel from London to Glasgow when in the late stage of pregnancy and another who could not travel since week 20. I myself, I am in week 33 and find it difficult to travel more then 15 minutes as it makes my stomach upset, but I have been sick through the whole pregnancy.
If you do feel comfortable going on train, then you should go and enjoy yourselve, if you do not feel comfortable you should not go as if you get stressed about going you will pass it onto the baby. You should not be worried about what people think as it is all about the health of you and your baby and so you should just listen to your body.

fiveweeksandcounting · 27/02/2010 14:05

I'm driving 150 miles each way on my own on monday so 300 miles in less than 12 hours. I can't say that I am thrilled about it but am still working and that's where the meeting is. I hope it will be ok and my others were post 40 weeks. I'll be 34 +2. I'd be lying though if I said that I wasn't looking forward to it being over and done with. I drove 100 miles each way last week for a meeting and it was absolutely fine.

ronx · 27/02/2010 14:10

Put your feet up and take the train!

PanicMode · 27/02/2010 15:23

I was still commuting until 36 weeks with number 1, went to Cornwall by myself (from Earlsfield) at 35 weeks pregnant, driving with my toddler, and am still commuting at 32 weeks with number 4 (gave up at 28 wks with number 3 for various reasons) so I would think that either a train or car journey at 34 weeks would be fine......

pandora69 · 28/02/2010 12:06

I would make the journey.

In the nicest possible way, being at 34wks in a normal pregnancy is not a good reason to not drive what is effectively less than 80 miles. You are not ill! If you had something like SPD, though, then it is up to you how you feel, if you want to make the journey.

I made a 100 mile round trip to work and back each day until I was 39 weeks last time I was pregnant. It never occured to me not to go to work because it was a bit of a drive!

snickersnack · 28/02/2010 12:12

I would take the train, check you know where the maternity hospital is, and take your notes.

I went to visit a friend in Brighton from London at 38 weeks pg. She was in hospital and when I got there the nurse looked at me and said "I do hope you have your notes with you" when she hears I'd come from London. I then got a very stern lecture on how I shouldn't go anywhere without them in late pregnancy particularly if I was having a VBAC etc etc. She was right, I went into labour about an hour after getting he and ds was born that night.

RoseWater · 28/02/2010 12:21

Agree with bibbity and pandora - I used to do a similar commute when pregnant - I wouldn't use that excuse to your friends if they have children or you may sound a bit PFBish.

That said the trip itself sounds a bit boring for you as (lovely though it will be to see your friends) theres going to be a fair bit of hanging around watching others try on dresses that you can't.

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