When you decided to ttc number 2....

[pipoca]

why did you decide to go for it then? Did you feel really broody? I am sooooo torn. I've alwasy wanted 2 dc and we're getting near the time we said we'd ttc again, (and we will-I don't want not to try for another dc) but sometimes I feel really broody and other times the idea terrifies me. How to cope with 2? Will i get HG again? How will I cope with HG and a toddler and work? I'm freelance, I worry about picking up the business again after a maternity leave.(it's a new venture and only I can do it, I can't get anyone to cover for em).
I'm surrounded by babies and pregnant women and i know I can't wait forever (am almost 35), nor do I want to. I swing from feeling wildly broody to shuddering at the thought of actually committing to ttc.
God, I sound mad, don't I?

You don't sound mad at all - you're feeling all those feelings most of us have - check out some of the threads on here such as this one:

Those pg with 2nd baby, pleased but terrified

It took a year until I felt physically even close to starting to think about being pregnant again and even then that was only the beginnings of feeling Hmmmm maybe we could go for it. We started trying soon after that and it took about 3-4 months by which time I was feeling even more ready as I had those few months to feel more like I wanted it.

It's always going to be a roller-coaster of emotions but I think once you become pregnant (if that's what you really do want deep down) you'll deal with all the difficulties as and when. Besides, in the long term, 9 months isn't that much - even the first year or so of second baby isn't hugely long - in the grand scheme of things...

Thanks Meeshamie I have lurked a little on that thread actually, it seems interesting, although I see most people have quite a small gap...we'd be looking at an almost 3 yr gap even if I got pregnant tomorrow.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm just not that maternal I struggled with similar things before ttc DS, the whole should I, shouldn't I. I DO want another and sometimes I really do long to get pregnant, but then the idea of actually doing it freaks me out a little. I suppose you're right, once we actually take the plunge excitement will take over. Either way we're going to wait til at least easter and then either go for it or wait a little longer..til the summer or so. I suppose even once we stop using contraception it'll take a little while possibly and that'll give me time to get used to the idea.
I just wonder if it's normal to really really want it and at the same time kind of recoil in horror

bump...

Totally normal I'd say. Before DS1 I was so not into the idea of having kids, although I always knew I wanted a family it was my DH who wanted it more - I just freaked at the very thought of it. Even while ttc I was often (secretly) relieved when I didn't get the BFP but one day I suddenly got all gooey over babies - something I've never experienced before (I've always been the one to slightly run a mile when a colleague brought baby into office for example). So I spent a week feeling broody then thought I'd better take a pg test as I was late and I remember feeling so sure it'd be positive and also that if it was negative I'd be really upset. So it wasn't til I was pregnant that I actually felt like I really wanted it. Nature's clever way I guess - plus I know I was very lucky it worked out for me as I know only too well how it can be so heartbreakingly difficult.

What will be will be and as always, things don't always go to plan but I'm sure you'll work it out - just don't give yourself any grief for feeling up and down about it all

it took a while to conceive ds, and we had planned dc2 to coincide with remortgaging, childcare costs etc etc.....
As it took 6 mnths with ds, we 'started trying' a little early for dc2 as was convinced it would take ages again....needless to say we fell preggers at the first try...........the more I have spoken with others, I find this quite common.....(though i know many can suffer from secondary infertility).......so just a note of caution for you if you are unsure!
I think we women have great mechanisms to cope with whatever is thrown at us. Managing a toddler at the same time will be challenging, but this time round I have experience, which i was severely lacking first time round!

We had always said we woud like a reasonably small age gap.
DD was one in July and we said we would wait till the new year to start trying but i think her turning one made her feel so much more grown up.. She was walking at 11mths so already seemed like a toddler to us.

Anyway we decided not wait and just go for it, thinking it would take a while anyway. Wrong.. first month of trying was sucessful! Came as abit of a shock to me as i dont think i had fully got my head around having another.

I now 28 weeks and DD is 18mths old.

I flit from days of excited to days of panic.. Especially when DD is having one of those days!
Lots of my friends have a similiar/ slightly older age gap and have been fine.. Yes theres hard days but thats Kids for you!

You just have to do what you feel is right for you.

Well I have been in your position, started trying for No.2 then changed our minds and decided to stick with one.

It was really hard to come to that decision and I kept flitting between the two options, in a state of ambivalence for about a year.

Somehow always ended up coming back to being happy sticking with one.

I think the answer does come to you eventually, though it may take some time

I'm 35 and both my mum and nan had early menopauses so I am not expecting to be fertile much longer. Do you have an idea of when your mum started the menopause? Thats a vague idea of when you might.

Had DC1 15 months ago (2 months of trying to conceive) and started ttc #2 when she was 10 months - I figured 18 months was the minimum gap I wanted.

Conceived 2nd month again so DC2 due in June when DD will be 19 months. I have a sibling, DH has 2 and neither of us wanted to plan on one child though we were not presuming on anything either time.

I have no idea how I will cope, it's going to be tough financially too and I am exhausted with one. BUT - I figure two is always hard work with pros and cons with whatever age gap you have. And in the long run 2 adults, 2 kids just feels balanced in my head for a family - I'm hoping they will tear around the park together while I supervise :-)

Depends a lot on your own experiences of siblings/not and what you 'see' in your head as your family as you all get older together.

seems to be a pattern... we started ttc no.2 when DD was 15 months, thinking it would take ages again (took 2 years with DD) and it happened straight away!

The age gap will be 2 years, so about as close as I would want them really! I was shocked but now I am really excited and can't wait, I think it will be really good for DD as she loves being with other kids.

just wanted to add another perspective - I didn't feel broody for ages after dd was born although knew that i would want another child (or more) at some point. DD was conceived within 3 months so niavely thought over two years ago (when she had just turned 3 and I suddenly felt) broody that it would happen just as quick - have only just achieved goal (am 8 weeks so still a long way to go!.

Its just so difficult to know - I guess you have to go on your gut instinct but be prepared for any eventuality should you decide to go for it!
Good luck with whatever you choose.