Please help - getting myself in a worry about labour

[DefNotYummyMummy]

It's silly. This is my 3rd baby. First was emcs, second vbac. Didn't cope very well with the pain at all with the vbac (or the stitches that followed). I am starting to get really anxious about how I am going to cope this time around. Terrified in fact. I know it'll only be a day out of my life (hopefully !), but it was pretty horrific. I had 4 midwives trying to calm me down as epidurals don't work on me. Gas and air feels useless.

Please help me with some coping mechanisms to calm myslef down as I am only 17 weeks and already I can't sleep as I am worrying about it.

Thanks. Feel like an idiot.

Forgot to ask - do subsequent labours feel the same as previous ones ?

Gosh, well I am by no means an expert, but when I was v v worried about my VBAC attempt I used one of those hynobirthing CDs. I can't say it dispelled my fears but somehow I did end up conditioned to fall asleep within minutes of the music starting (could not tell you what was on the CD if my life depended on it). That was actually not a bad result because I was able to put it on in labour and sleep for a bit of the boring phase.

I also read tonnes of books about childbirth and watched videos which kind of helped remind me that so many women survive the experience!

And I had an independent midwife with whom I discussed every single one of my fears in minute detail. Perhaps a doula might be an idea? Having a woman you know there is really helpful IME.

Oh, and I can't tell you about the birth part since my babies get stuck and I've had 2 emcs, but certainly the labours felt very different.

DD1 was all in my back, painful from the off. I was making noise at 3cm and the MW was rolling her eyes (grrr). Gas and air and TENS were utterly useless.

DD2 the pain was at the front (and down my legs), much faster generally, manageable (got fully dilated with no pain relief bar TENS which helped me relax between contractions). The difference may have been that I was more active second time around and much better prepared (and more determined), but definitely the two felt different. Neither was painless though ...

Can't give any advice as to subsequent labours, Def as I'm 33 wks pregnant with DC2 but despite having had a really pretty 'good' and natural labour & birth experience with DS1 I'm still getting myself into a bit of a tizz about going through it all again.

I had natal hypnotherapy the first time round which really helped (labour with DS was about 9 hours all told, only used gas & air, and no tears / stitches at all) so I'm doing it again in the hope that I'll replicate / improve on the experience.

I'd definitely recommend you see a natal hypnotherapist if you can afford it (ie one who specialises in hypnotherapy for pregnancy & birth), or if not then hypnobirthing CDs would be a good, cheaper alternative to at least (hopefully) make you feel more relaxed about it all.

Hope that helps, and good luck!

Like Snowtiger I am pregnant 32 week with no. 2 and also had a "good" labour with DS but am worried about no. 2.
I think it helped that, as I gave birth 6 weeks early with DS, I didn't actually believe I was in labour and was in denial. So I kept active, walking around, rocking etc, with husband massaging my back (he thought I was in labour but I was having none of it). And I stayed out of hospital as long as possible (when I went in to hospital for routine appt I was told by the staff that I was 8cm dilated).
I've also heard good things about birth pools, so that may be an option (or are you not allowed it with VBAC?)
Can symathise as am desperately worried about the upcoming birth and am also suffering insomnia.

I did hypnotherapy too with DS2, but didn't get a chance to use it!
DS1 was back-to-back, forceps and vontouse, episiotomy, epidural, pain like I've never felt in my life. I was panicking.
I didn't go to hospital when I started having pains with DS2 because they weren't bad enough... I kept thinking I had hours to go. However, with every contraction, I felt a real urge to sit down. That was because the head was crowning.
I am telling you the honest truth, DS2 hardly hurt at all. 5 hours from first twinge to him being born, even the birth didn't really hurt (and again, I had an episiotomy.)
Also, gas and air and TENS worked with DS2 where they hadn't really with DS1.

Fab fab fab... Still feel on a bit of a high about it and DS2 is now 5 months! Good luck, there's every chance this one will be easy peasy.

BTW... DS1 was 7 pond 8, DS2 was 10 pound 2...

WOW. 10lb baby. You SHOULD be proud of yourself. Mine was 6lb 3. I feel like a fraud ! But I would like to say the head was average size...

I'm just not sleeping. Waiting for the inevitable, but I don't know how I'm going to cope. I know I will as there's nothing that you can do about it, but I wish they could get epidurals to work on me as they don't.

Last time I got myself in such a traumatised state. I had 5 midwives in there trying to calm me down. Luckily from the time I went in to the time baby came out was only 4 hours and so they didn't have to put up with me for long.

I was thinking that this time around maybe I could try to cope a bit better. Maybe a water birth - but you never know if it's going to be free. I just hope I cope better this time around. Thanks for your stories. I love reading about people's birth stories these days !

xxx

Hi def haven't really got any advice but am in the same situation,i will be 17wks with no.3 on Mon,
as soon as i found out i was pregnant i had loads of sleepless nights,then i was OK for a while,but now I'm getting a bump it seems more real,woke up last night and just thought 'god I've got to go through it all again!'
Also i went to the hospital Tuesday and they said they will give me another scan at 32 and 36 wks to check the growth as my last two were quite big for my frame eek!
I'm just trying to not think about it and just enjoy this pregnancy as it will be our last,sorry i haven't got any advice just wanted to let you know you are not alone

Hi def - I would read books and really prepare yourself. I had a pretty bad 1st labour and felt completely out of control. With DC2 I read Sheila Kitzinger and practised breathing with DH and my second labour was fantastic - no pain relief, just breathed through all the contractions (and this was the woman screaming for an epidural with DC1) - the big difference with DC2 was that I wasn't scared because I had a completely different attitude towards the labour - all a bit hippy dippy and 'welcoming' each contraction as a step closer to your baby blah blah but it really did help me. Am now 40 wks pg with DC3 so that surely says something!

2nd birth much quicker less painful and easier than first birth. remember telling midwife that it didn't really hurt, less 2 hours from waters breaking to birth (and before waters broke so mild i didn't even bother with tens, i didn't need it).

by contrast, first birth although ok, used tens for 5 hours at home, and then G&A for 5 hours in hospital and was shouting out in pain.

recommend hypnobirthing - course is ideal if you can afford, otherwise buy the book and practise the relaxations on the cd that comes with it.

at flyingduchess!! Your baby 'swam out while you were asleep?'?!??!? Could you teach me that trick please?!

Seriously, when you say 'really learn how to breathe' can you give specific advice / tips please?