Antenatal depression? Or just pregnancy blues?

[Alicetheinvisible]

I am 15 wks pg with dc2 and i am really down. My house is a complete tip as i just can't bring myself to do anything, i just want to hide.

DD(2.3) is fine when we are at home but has started having terrible tantrums when we go out, which means i get awful looks and come home nearly in tears wondering why i am having a 2nd child if i am so useless with the one i have got. I have started losing my temper with her and hate myself for it.

Is there anything that will help, or should i just not go out for a few months?

Tantrums in a 2.3 year old - completely normal and par for the course, so not a reflection on your parenting.

I think it's so tiring being pregnant and having to look after a toddler. My dd has reverted to newborn in her sleep patterns and is keeping me awake half the night. I'm six weeks pregnant and I was in floods of tears last night, because I am just so exhausted.

I was wondering whether I am depressed as well. I was going to mention it to the gp or the midwife when I next see them. Maybe you could do the same?

Alicetheinvisible, I am so sorry to hear you are having a rubbish time of it.

The terrible two's are well known for the tantrums, and test the patience of a saint at the best of times, never mind being pregnant and all that entails!

I would suggest you speak with your gp/midwife as Besom has said, and take everyday as it comes.

Don't worry about the house, your energy is better spent on your mental wellbeing, and being able to enjoy your pregnancy.

I hope this feeling lifts, its very overwhelming and everyday tasks can become a struggle, just concentrate on your daughter and yourself everything else can wait!

I would say if you can summon the energy that going out is a good thing, a change of scene and ignore the 'tut tut' brigade.

Your daughter is going through a normal development stage, not a good combination with the massive changes you are going through, it doesn't make you any less of a fantastic mother.

Take care, and I hope you are feeling better soon x

Thank you both

DH cooked dinner and bathed DD while i hid under the duvet and cried but feeling a bit more positive now.

We are going to softplay with a group of friends tomorrow, so will feel more comfortable not being on my own with DD.

Try and have a dead early night, don't try and book loads of evenings / weekends away / guests in, and go to a toddler group where you can drink tea and your DD can play...........

Oooh it's sooo hard - I found an early night was a reset button, and also I was far too hard on myself with a no telly before tea rule.

DH sounds fab.

Good luck you!

I am struggling a little at the moment, but i wonder how much of that is pg hormones and how much of it is DD suddenly (and it has been sudden) turning from the loveliest easiest child to this monster toddler!

If i found myself getting a bit down before, i would have a quiet week of just doing our horses and getting on top of stuff while DD played in the garden, did drawing or watched telly. But we have a couple of really busy weeks coming up and that combined with DD no longer being the angel child you could take anywhere is stressing me out. Add the pg hormones and thats it!

Try and get friends / family to take DD out for an hour or two, so you can have some time to yourself.
I went mad, then I invented a rule whereby DH takes the boy(s) out evey Saturday morning - anywhere but not in the house please!

Good luck