i am pregnant with complications, dh not coping, want to slap him....

[humptynumpty]

Am 33 weeks pregnant and due to history am being kept a close eye on. Was sent to hospital on Monday with high blood pressure and let out again Tuesday etc... Am feeling ok, but drained and pretty spaced out.
We have 2 kids and are trying to get organised for opening/refurbishing our cafe for May.
I realise that there is a lot going on, but dh is not coping. I am getting fed up with him and tbh it is stressing me out. I really feel like shaking him and saying "get a fucking grip man".
For example today.. We needed to hire a van, go to the bank and make a few phone calls. Also, need to get our VAT return ready.
He is totally stressed out by that. For fucks sake how difficult is it? I have made the phone calls for him, booked the van, arranged for my mum to be here in case I am ill again for the next few days.
All he has to do is get some bits from shop for kids lunch and go to bank but he is too stressed.
I know he is worrying and he is a worrier, but how can I tell him that he is not helping the situation by showing all this. Lets be honest ladies, most of us acomplish more than this in a few hours .
Bloody men....

He's worried about you and getting into a state because of it. I know its really irritating, but sit down and calmly talk to him about whats stressing him out. Perhaps get him to come along to your next med appointment and get the staff to talk to him about how he's feeling. He probably needs facts and from someone who doesn't look sideways at him with murderous glances when he brings home a courgette instead of a cucumber from the shops.... Yes, I know, bloody men, but he's in a helpless position. I know I'm saying all this, but they do come across as pretty pathetic sometimes don't they?! I thought men were meant to be able to get a grip...I find my DH equally irritating. He knows pregnancy causes hormonal changes, but I SWEAR he deliberately winds me up and then says I'm over reacting due to hormones. grr.

Anyone please. I have got myself into a right state now. He went to collect kids then went into one because I'm not in bed resting. I haven't been toldd to stay in bed, just supposed to be chilling out a bit.
But he still hasn't been to shops to get food for tea, been to bank etc...
Why can't he understand that I am fucking terriefied just now and he needs to take control.
Is it me who is in the wrong here? I just want to hand over being the calm controlled one in this house for a few days but he won't/can't do it...
Anyone?

yes elsa that's it totally.
But i'm to one who needs to calm down? Yes I do right now, but he's the one who needs to get some perspective.
I'm not trying to be controlling, I just need to know that there's somebody in this house who has a handle on things a little bit. Not that the place is totally spotless etc.. That he can deal with it.

Right- eyeballing you now...YOU HAVE HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE!! High blood pressure can make you feel really wound up and its nothing to do with hormones. Yes, I know he's being a pain in the neck, but DO NOT let it get to you. Lie back, read, breathe, surf the net and drink water. He will do those things, bt if h's worried about you leaping round the house picking up after him, he's very unlikely to leave to go to the shops in case you have a coronary. I know its hard, but chill out and he will cope with the chores. Ok, you may end up with beans without the toast for dinner, but just go with it, you need to help yourself by reducing your blood pressure. You, right now are more important than him, so look after yourself and stop worrying about what he hasn't done. Its 1238 and he has time to get to the bank and sort dinner (presuming by dinner you mean evening meal and not lunch). Right, talking to over- take care sweetheart

Humpty- I know exactly what you mean about men. The trouble is, they cannot multi task... for you, you see a list of jobs that need doing, can prioritise and complete efficiently and easily. He sees a confusing list of things to do, cannot decide where to start and gets in a flap. this will not change, sadly. They can't help it, it's just not their bag.

Maybe the least stressful option for you is to write a schedule for DH for the day that he just has to follow- would he let you? That way you would at least know that he was doing stuff. I think the idea of wanting him to take over is unrealistic TBH and will just stress you out more watching him fail.

In the meantime, breathing is a good option and ignoring as much as possible... he won't let the children starve. Or rather, the children won't let him let them starve!

thanks all, have let it all out and now he has apologised, says he is just worried about me.
Will try harder to chill out and let him get on with it!! Sometimes it feels having another kid, at least they will co-operate not fight you!!
Looking forward to this baby being born so i can stop worrying about my own health!!
thanks again all, good to know i'm not going mad!