Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

smoking

45 replies

ladyjadey · 13/02/2010 08:26

Someone please give me a huge kick up the arse. I am 13 weeks and can't stop smoking. Am on 10 a day from my previous 20. Did quit for about a month when I first found out , have since split up with father and am so stressed all the time. I know its no excuse, but I'm dealing with an unexpected pregnancy alone and to be honest I am bloody miserable.

Told midwife, she said someone from smoking cessation would contact me but that was 2 weeks ago and have not heard anything.

I feel bloody awful, so guilty and I'm terrified of the effect it is having on the little one, I have arranged to go for some counselling and I hope that will help too, give me other ways of dealing with stress. I think I don't really believe I am preg and that is why it is so difficult to stop (i do keep trying but then end up giving in when I'm upset, which I seem to be a lot) This whole situation is such a shock.

What makes it worse is I quit instantly and without a second thought whilst pg with dd1. I wonder if I do not value this baby the same way?

Please shout at me, tell me how selfish I am, pass on your quitting tips, anything and everything is worth a go right now, I don't think I could feel any worse.

Oh and sorry for yet another miserable post, one of these days I will have something cheerful to say I promise!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

LadyRabbit · 23/02/2010 17:37

ladyjadey Yeay! Well done, really well done. Bloody fags are as addictive as heroin, if you ask me, and it's no mean feat. (I know, struggled for years to give up even though I barely smoked. Just 5 a day, but I would be ready to kill someone if I couldn't have those 5 when I wanted them.)
Every day you're going to feel so much better. I also think you end up saving more than the cost of the cigs. I used to go to the shop to buy them and end up with miscellaneous chocolate, magazines, crap I didn't need, but it all adds up.
Good for you.

Original poster

ladyjadey · 26/02/2010 13:43

update.....

over a week sans fags, fine, happy and dandy.

OP posts:

goandshowdaddy · 26/02/2010 13:59

Well done ladyjadey, you are a star!

bluemonkey123 · 26/02/2010 15:13

WELL DONE LADYJADEY.
I have been lucky this time round, I was so nauseus early on even the thought of a cigarette made me feel sick, so managed to stop quite easily. Now I just have to make sure that I don't have the odd sneaky one when I am out etc.
This is quite an inspriational thread for anyone else trying to give up!!

Also every time you absolutely HAVE to go and buy a packet of 10, put the money in a box instead then when you have enough in there go and treat the baby with a cure outfit or your DD with a new toy or treat yourself with a nice face cream (or tub of ice cream!!) That way you all really feel the material benefits too....

AllieW · 26/02/2010 15:26

FANTASTIC! Well done you. I'm sat here in tears reading this. When your baby is older you can tell them what a brilliant thing you did for them. Long may your resolve continue!!

ShowOfHands · 26/02/2010 15:38

Well done. You are a non smoker. That's the thing to tell yourself now. Not that you're trying to quit, you're just waiting for x, y, z, you'll give up when, that's it. You're a non smoker. That way the way you talk about it means that the battle is won, which is a positive thing to think.

And I have a SIL who has smoked through all of her pregnancies and through bfing. You do not need me to tell you the effect on her underweight and struggling to breathe babies.

rosyred · 26/02/2010 23:57

Hi am really pleased for you, its such ahard thing to do. I keep falling off the wagon. I went to cessation clinic and they gave me loads of inhalators was getting along fine with these for over a week and was feeling happier as guilt had gone, then a week ago went to a funeral and started again. i'm only6 on five a day but the guilt is killing me. today I got the inhalators again and am trying to stay determined now. i am 31 weeks and really want to stop now. whats wrong with me.

mummyof2byapril · 27/02/2010 08:28

LadyJadey
Well done :-) happy to hear it

InmaculadaConcepcion · 27/02/2010 09:58

Fantastic!!
Well done ladyjadey, you're a star!

EmmaBemma · 27/02/2010 14:23

WELL DONE Ladyjadey! Fantastic effort.

colie · 27/02/2010 15:48

Well done. Congratulations on over a week.

menomena · 27/02/2010 23:19

Very well done! Really impressive

LaRagazzaInglese · 28/02/2010 01:46

The thing about Allen Carr is not just reading it, you have to absorb it too, just remind yourself of all the things it says in the book, every day that passes gets easier and easier. Don't beat yourself up about it, it's not your fault that you smoke, and well done for cutting down already time will help too, just try your best you can't do more than your best, and it seems like a huge mountain of a struggle but its just a tiny little hill.

SolidGoldBrass · 28/02/2010 04:16

Well done for stoppig smoking. But if it doesnt' take remember its not the worst ting in the world ever and if your babyis born with any prolbms it wasnt/isn;t necessarily your fault and shit happens. and if your baby does have problems thinking that it's your fault will tear you up to no purpose.

Original poster

ladyjadey · 02/03/2010 14:55

hi all, thanks again for all the support. nearly 2 weeks now, on the second week of patches (now medium strength) and doing fine. Apart from dreaming pretty much every night that I start smoking again and bugger it all up! At least when I wake up I realise it's not true!

rosyred dont panic! Its a bloody horrible feeling isn't it, that nagging guilt! I tried first with will power then with gum but I could not cope with the withdrawal symptoms, in my case, furious anger coupled with pg hormones was disabling! I found patches have done it for me because there is no nicotine highs or lows, just a steady stream of not really NEEDING a fag. don't get me wrong, sometimes I fair bloody well want one, but I know I don't NEED one. You can do it, I know you can, I know this because I can and I'm telling you I was the worst smoker in the world. In fact I think I have an addictive personality and could easily managed to get hooked on pretty much ANYTHING

YOU CAN DO IT! REALLY YOU CAN!

and if you need to chat, I'll keep a close eye on this thread!

OP posts:

PanicMode · 03/03/2010 14:19

Good for you LadyJadey - keep going - sounds as though you are really beating it

Rosyred - don't beat yourself up - just don't stop trying to stop - you can do it!!

lukii06 · 26/03/2010 16:33

hi,im new to this forum but would be so gratefull if you could help me?im 5 weeks pregnant and finding it so hard to give up smoking,ive been reading the other posts and no im not alone but the guilt im feeling is so bad?im hating myself right now ive managed to cut down from 20 day to 8-9 i want to quit completley as im seen as high risk my first baby was stillborn and ive had 2 misscarriages all this has been within 4 years im finally preggie again and so,so happy but im so scared it seems the more scared iam i wanna smoke,ive been reading though that a heavy smokers is advised to cut down gradually that quiting cold turkey because it can harm the baby is this true?

Bonners · 29/03/2010 13:23

Good for you ladeyjadey. Keep at it. I wasn't preggers when i quit but I found that I needed the patch and the gum. A smoking cessation counsellor also told me to eat chocolate when I had a craving because that releases the same chemicals that you get with a cigarette.
Another trick for when you're craving a fag is to say to yourself "I'm okay just now, I'll have one later" YOur mind then settles down and you can get on with your day. The next time you get a craving, do the same thing. Soon enough you find you get less and less cravings. That's what worked for me at least.
Good luck to all who are trying to quit, it is really hard!

arazo · 24/06/2010 12:45

You are taking a very positive step on recruiting support here. I wonder if you have allowed yourself to think through the other matters you mention, that you are finding the whole situation a shock and you are miserable and upset a lot. Perhaps this is the root of your desire to smoke. I read about procrastination recently and it is a similar situation where we do things to distract ourselves from overwhelming or uncomfortable thoughts and feelings.

If you can find support to talk openly and honestly about those feelings you may find your way not only to not need to smoke, but also to have better feelings about the whole situation.

I would like you to look after yourself and try to stop feeling guilty. It is natural to be apprehensive in your circumstances. If possible, make some space for exploring your own true feelings and allow yourself to put aside your worries about your smoking habit at least part of each day. Sometimes, by letting yourself feel and explore the desire to smoke can help you to realise why you feel that need and maybe it will pass right through you and you can come out the other side.

This can be tough but I am sure you will get support for exploring your other negative feelings too. Finding the right support for these problems will help but dont let the smoking issue become a beating rod!

mummyhelen101 · 17/09/2010 09:38

I am 6 weeks pregnant and have just started reading Alan Carr's book. I smoked about 5 a day before getting pregnant with my 2nd. I have just started having a little bit when I am desperate and it isn't going too bad. I am worried about the fact that we are going on holiday to Spain soon and I know it will be much harder than when I am at home. Tips welcome. I would love to quit for good this time as with my last pregnancy I smoked again straight after giving birth. Good luck to everyone in the same boat. It is supportive to know I am not the only one.

Flip

1 2