Stay? Go? What do I do?

[Muddychipmunk]

Hey

I'm 15 weeks pregnant, and have had hyperemesis which is 'just' beginning to get even ever so slightly better - I haven't really left the house in over 9 weeks, and I still feel really if-I-move-I'll-be-sick but I haven't puked, so I'm ever so slightly hopeful that its clearing.

As I said, I've been puking, nauseous, acid tummy-ish, not sleeping,tearful and housebound for weeks. I visited my boyfriend at the other end of the country at the start of December and couldn't make it home again to my family for Christmas cos I was too ill to travel. And while my boyfriend has been supportive, it doesn't feel like solid support. He'll be lovely for a few days but then he'll get moody and talk about how his life isn't fun any more and how he wants a girlfriend who he can go out with and do stuff with. We had discussed having a baby and so I do feel a bit let down when he goes on about how he doesn't want his life to change. He'll say one thing one day then another then next and the inconsistency isn't really helping TBH.

To be fair, he will tell you that there's no fun or laughter any more and that I'm always crying whenever we have a 'discussion'. (Half the time I don't even want to cry but I can't seem to help it right now). He says that I'm telling him what to do all the time and stopping him from doing what he wants to do because he feels like he has to spend time with me in the evenings or at the weekend...

I still don't feel well enough to get home although right now, I'm willing to try. I don't know anyone around here and while it sounds self pitying there is just no-one here that I can go to and just have a girly chat with. I just feel trapped, in a flat, waiting for him to get home and either be all unhappily stoic or lost and wanting me to somehow referee a conversation where he gets to say everything that is upsetting him,and I take it, don't retaliate and instead make it all better......

More than anything, what is upsetting me the most is the constant happy / then sad / then happy routine. When he's unhappy, he simply cannot remember being happy with me. He keeps on making statements like "I'm tired all the time, I'm unhappy, in other relationships, I've just told the girl to leave when its got like this' and "I'm tired, I'm depressed, I just want my life to be fun" and I'm not sure what I'm meant to do with those comments. Any ideas?

What do I do? We had a horrible phone call at lunchtime and it seems like the last straw. I haven't stopped crying and I just want to hide. Do I stay and try and have another chat or do I just head for the hills or at least the nearest hotel and try and have some space for a day?

I know that this post isn't exactly showing either of us in a good light (Could I be any more self pitying?!). I mean no harm - I'm just really unhappy and don't know who to talk to... I just don't seem to be very good at this whole pregnancy thing..!

boy. there are so many answers to your question but the real one that matters will come from your heart. only you can make the decision to stay or go. your not happy and that will affect the mood of your baby.

i remember having my girl and the 'father' didn't want to know. it may sound strange but the only person i had to to talk to about my deepest feelings with was God. i don't know your background but it really works for me. He really dose help you make the right choices but it's about trusting what He says.(the bible)

thankfully i was able to move on. i'm now married and 35 weeks pregnant. no one should feel alone in there relationship, confused about where they stand or unwanted or unloved at any time. i know you may not of been expecting to hear all of that but i do hope it will help. xx

You poor love

I am 15 weeks pg and ave hypermesis (for the third bloody time!!)

Who is at home? Do you normaly live with your mum?

You are not in a good place with your BF at the moment and it really sounds like he is being selfish and bringing you down (further down than you would have been having hyperemsis anyway)

If you have support at home then I think you should try to get there.
I know how crap travelling is when you feel so sick, but it would only be for a day or so.

This is so hard. In my experience of these situations, you can analyse it and analyse, but in the end, there is a gut feeling, and that's what you should go with. Though sometimes, knowing what your gut feeling is can be difficult when you think about it all too much.

Take some time for yourself if you can, and perhpas the answer will come to you if you ever reach a state of feeling remotely relaxed.