Private Midwife in North/North West London?

[cardamomginger]

I am 38 and 7 weeks pregnant with my first child. Even though this is early days, I am fairly anxious about this whole giving birth thing - my husband is EXTREMELY squeamish and faints at the sight of blood so I'm not holding out much hope for useful support when things start to get "interesting". I don't have a mother or sister I can call upon and feel very uncomfortable about asking a friend to be my birth partner. My thoughts at the moment are to have an NHS birth, most likely at the Royal Free, but to bring in a private midwife. Not sure at the moment if I'd want this just in a supportive capacity, or whether I'd want her to actually deliver me. Can anyone recommend a private midwife/how to go about finding one? I thought about a doula, and they sound great, but I think I'd feel happier with a midwife in case there's 15 other women giving birth at the same time as me - I'd like the guarantee that I will have 1-1 support and attention throughout. Would really welcome any thoughts/comments/advice!

If you are going to have an NHS birth might be best to bring a doula rather than private midwife - because if a private midwife goes to the RF she'd have to act as a doula anyway, and wouldn't be allowed to deliver you.

I recommend you speak to my friend Karina who is a doula for advice - she used a private midwife herself when she gave birth (at home) so she could talk you though the pros and cons of midwife vs doula for a hospital birth, and I am sure if you wanted a midwife she could give you recommendation. her first birth was supposed to be a home birth but she had to go to the RF and the private midwife went with but was only allowed to act as a doula.

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BTW I have given birth at the RF (birth centre) twice and both times had 1 to 1 care when I needed it, with 2 midwifes in the room at the interesting bits. However when I first arrived (both times much earlier than we should have gone in) they asked if we wanted to be left of our own and we said yes, although when we wanted someone in the room they came in and stayed. No one delivered me either time - the midwifes just watched me giving birth!

The care in labour was fab, its the after care there (post natal ward) thats crap.

Thanks MumNW. Will get in touch with Karina. I thought about a doula, but I think I'd feel happier if I had someone with the medical knowledge to know if something was going wrong and what they were supposed to be doing about it, even if she wasn't able to deliver herself. Nice to hear of a positive RFH experience! And thanks for the warning about the crapness of the post-natal ward...

The 2nd time around I managed to get discharged straight from the labour ward, so luckily did not have to go to post natal ward at all, so it was a much better experience. I would strongly recommend pushing for this if possible.

The care on the post natal ward was dreadful... although probably not much different to other NHS hospitals - no private rooms available 4 women per room, the other babies cried all time so couldn't sleep, lights on at 8am, and then lot of people coming in and out so no opportunity to rest. I was desparate to go home, but they said that had to stay in for 24 hours as DD had pooed just before she was born and they needed to monitor here. Then they lost my notes so couldn't discharge me so after 24 hours I just left as needed to sleep (nurse in charge said she'd have donee same!) - popped back that night to get officially discharged.

re: doulas - they are very experienced in normal birth and will be able to make sure you are "shouting loudest" if something out of the ordinary is going on to make sure that you have appropriate care.