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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

I Feel So Awful and Feel So Guilty For Feeling It...

13 replies

midori1999 · 04/02/2010 15:12

I am 11 + 4 weeks pregnant and feel just dreadful. I feel constantly nautious and have been vomiting up to a dozen times a day. I don't feel like eating or drinking anything, but I have been forcing myself to, wich is awful as it makes me gag. The GP gave me some meds for the sickness but it hasn't helped. I am also ridiculously tired and also suffer from migraines, which are crippling when I get them. I had meds for that but can't take them in pregancy.

On top of all that, my Nan died last weekend and I have to travel to England (I live in Northern Ireland) for her funeral next week and my husband is away a lot with work at the moment (he's been away now since Mon night but is back late tonight) so I am having to do everything myself. DH does help a lot when he is here. DS1 is away at school mon-fri and DS2 is 9 and DS3 is five but has Downs, so needs constant supervision.

Sorry, this is a totally pointless, pathetic and self pitying post, but I feel so bleuugghh and yet I feel so guilty and like I am putting everything onto DH when he is here and my oldest DS is helping a lot at weekends when he is here too. I do feel a bit like DH doesn't have much sympathy, tbh, although he never moans about having to help round the house in the evenings.

Please someone tell me I am not the only one who feels this way?!

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teaandcakeplease · 04/02/2010 15:33

I couldn't even step in a kitchen with my first pregnancy without gagging. Just walking back to my car after work would set me off vomiting in a bush. At week 18 when I started to feel better, when I walked into the kitchen it felt truly bizarre after months of not being able to enter! My hubby literally had to do everything before that point.

Oh hon, you can't help feeling rotten and you've got a lot on your plate with 3 children and one of them having Downs. You're also having to cope on your own here with your hubby away a lot. I couldn't have coped without my hubby in my first pregnancy.

Luckily with my second pregnancy it wasn't quite as bad, but if it had been, I'm not sure what I would have done.

Its completely normal to feel this way, but don't feel guilty. Sending you a big hug and a virtual cup of tea x

neenz · 04/02/2010 15:43

Midori, I totally feel for you. I am 12+5 and had the most dreadful nausea and tiredness in the first trimester. No vomiting though so not as bad as you but I felt like I was constantly hungover and felt terrible constantly.

Having my 21mo twins to look after just made the sickness all the worse and I could hardly bear to leave the sofa for weeks, and didn't leave the house for long periods as I was just so fatigued.

I couldn't even get the kids round the corner to playgroup, never mind to another country for a funeral. Sorry about your nan's death. Can someone help you with the trip? Or can you leave the kids with someone else while you go to the funeral?

You are certainly not alone in how you are feeling!

Bumperlicious · 04/02/2010 15:56

Nope, I don't feel like you, because I have nowhere near as much as you going on! 3 kids, one with SN, nan dying, and the sickness, I just have the sickness to contend with and I have been feeling pretty sorry for myself!

I have no advice except to say give yourself a break, even if it is just figuratively rather than being able to have an actual break .

In your past pregnancies did the nausea subside?

Original poster

midori1999 · 04/02/2010 16:14

Thank for the replies. I have had a small rant on the phone to my sister, which helps.

neenz, I am going alone to the funeral, DH is having the DC and all our pets. So that is something, I suppose.

Bumperlicious, I had morning sickness until around 22 weeks in my other pregnancies, but I am really hoping it might go before this time, fingers crossed! I just don't remember it being this bad before. I felt dreadful, but I could still do things.

I've chucked a pasta bake in the oven for the kid's tea. Not ideal fodder, but I am sure one pasta bake won't kill them.

OP posts:

Bumperlicious · 04/02/2010 16:21

I know the feeling - yesterday we had chicken nuggets and chips, and tonight we have pasta with stir in sauce as I can't face anything remotely healthy!

sb6699 · 04/02/2010 16:29

My dc's love pasta bake! When I was expecting DD1 and DH worked away, poor DS survived on salad as I was so nauseious I just couldnt face cooking for about 6 weeks.

Dont feel guilty for having a moan, you've a lot on your plate atm. Is there any way you could get the dc's into bed early and just relax (when I've had enough, I leave the dc's with dh and have a long hot soak in the bath with plenty of bubbles!)

Hope the sickness subsides quickly.

teaandcakeplease · 04/02/2010 16:30

Maybe it's a girl My first pregnancy was a girl and I felt awful. With my son I felt sick but only threw up a handful of times as opposed to 3 times a day.

Although that is an old wives tale I suppose.

Pasta bake sounds perfect to me! Well done you, considering how ill you feel.

At least at the funeral you will have peace and time to grieve on your own. I hope the funeral goes well (as well as they can) and brings you peace and closure and time to mourn with your family and say goodbye to your Nan

missedith01 · 04/02/2010 16:31

Hey, you can't help having sickness and nausea.

I had a period of several weeks in this pregnancy when I couldn't cook anything because the smell of food was too much, could barely drag myself home from work and had to get my partner out in the car to rescue me on several occasions when I was sat on a bench somewhere in the sure knowledge that to move another inch would have me throwing up on the pavement. Not as bad as you by the sound of it but it was bad enough to floor me completely.

Be gentle with yourself. You can only do what you can do. Take care of yourself and take all the help that's offered and don't feel guilty - you won't be sick forever and can make it up to your husband and kids later!

LizzieHart · 04/02/2010 16:41

I am 20 weeks and still throwing up! my doctor (who also had hyperemsis) said if you eat what you crave you are less likely to throw it up. she also said eat and drink anything you want, be it unhealthy or not. I think it is about getting something into your stomach rather than going without.

I had slight improvement at 18 weeks but still feel rotten, and like you, I have gone off all food!

Good luck and I hope you feel better soon!

mandolin999 · 18/02/2010 02:43

Please know that you are not alone!!! I am only 8.5 weeks along and feels like an eternity already as I've been so,SO sick and utterly exhausted for 4+weeks. I have 3 little preschoolers age 5, 3 and 1 and when my husband is home he does everything. I had to hire babysitters for a while because I couldn't get out of bed. Finally my mom came from out of state to help me thank God. Like teaandcakeplease I cannot even set foot in the kitchen. Oh and to topit alloff I have the lovely addition of crippling anxiety/depression this time around too. Pregnancy takes so much out of you,please don't feel guilty!!!!!!!!!

Original poster

midori1999 · 18/02/2010 14:34

Forgot about this thread. It turns out I am havign twins, so that explains it, I suppose.

OP posts:

kinnies · 18/02/2010 14:52

wow! Congrats Mandolin!

MrsTriangle · 19/02/2010 13:02

oh my goodness midori .
congratulations!

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