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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Freaking out and alone

2 replies

Kirst16 · 31/01/2010 16:33

I am a 30 year old mom, with two gorgeous boys (approaching 4yrs and 16 months). My relationship with my husband went down the toilet last May after I admitted I had developed feelings for someone else. But if I'm honest, I hadn't been happy for a long time. Needless to say me and this other bloke started a relationship in August last year. I thought he was the one and to all intents and purposes getting ready to make a go of it. The family home is on the market and I was planning on moving 150 miles away so we could be together. Anyway, as of Friday, he turned round and told me that he doesn't want to lead a mediocre life and didn't think it was working and he wanted no further contact. I am devastated. More so, becasue we have been getting on fantastically and had two holidays booked, including one at the end of Febraury. This was the same day I found out I was pregnant with his baby. Unplanned, most definately yes, but when I told him, he said I'm sure you'll tell me in your own time what you decide. I don't know what to think. I have no idea how he can be so cold or just completely disregard me like this. I feel like a fool for havign been taken in by all the usual lines such as I love you, want to spend the rest of my days with you etc. I am freaking out at the thought of having a 3rd baby and doing it alone. I love my two boys to bits but they are a handful. I am a professional and have a good job, but not sure I can afford to support a 3rd baby, with the cost of childcare etc. I have little or no family support as they are based in Scotland. But in saying that I really don't know if I can have an abortion. I have already had one and living with the guilt every day has nearly destroyed me.

OP posts:
fifitot · 31/01/2010 17:16

You poor thing. I don't really know what to advise but didn't want you to be left unanswered.

You need to know if there really is no way back for you with this relationship and when decided go on to plan what to do. If you don't have the baby, you will learn to cope and if you do, you will too.

Why not post on the relationship section as well. Maybe if still considering a termination speak to someone neutral about that.

Horrible situation and I'm sorry.

bearcrumble · 31/01/2010 17:22

Firstly I am so sorry for the situation that you've found yourself in.

I think that having another termination would hurt you more than going ahead with the pregnancy if you suffered so badly after the first one.

This guy has a duty to provide for his child and the courts will make him do so if he tries to evade it, so you will be able to manage with a third child even as a single mum.

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