Pregnancy Books

[clpsmum]

Hi there

I am researching a new pregnancy book and would love to hear from all you pregnant ladies and mums on what you would like to see in a pregnancy book and things you think should be included that are sometimes left out of others.

thanks

Leave out:

• Anything patronising. I'm a grown woman with 3 children and a demanding and responsible job. I haven't had a lobotomy either.
• Don't assume we're all straight and married.

-Don't pitch the info as basic. I want proper information, not lowest common denominator information. Use medical terms, not layman's terms. See point 1 (c)

• Show your evidence base.
• Use the word "allowed" at your peril. My body, not the midwife's, not the hospital's.

As a side point, I actually once read an American pregnancy book which included the line "Be a good patient". I kid you not. I threw it across the room and thanked God I lived in the UK.

That is terrible re american book. I found when i was pregnant they were all so patronising and as you said, spoke to you like you were a bloody idiot raher than a grown woman who was actually going to be responsible for another human life! that's sort of why i would like to think about writing one so that it can appeal to intelligent woman who want to read a good book rather than intelligent women that have been conned out of their money to be preached at,patronised or put on a gult trip by the author! thank you so much for your comments they are much appreciated.

My favourite one is the yehudi gordon one as it contains balanced views (good balance between convential medicine and alternative therapies) and uses medical terms. my least favourite one is the miriam stoppard one as its both patronising and basic....

• i think glossary of pregnancy symptoms - what to worry about, what to speak to gp/midwife and what to just put up with would be useful.

• also info on "banned foods" and what risks actually are - ie you are not going to give baby vit a poisoning from one portion of liver or that salmonella v unlikely in vaccinated hens... etc.

• some stats eg what % of women bled in early pregnancy... % of downs babies that go undetected by nuchal scan/blood tests etc

Please don't include any photographs of dead babies. Sounds obvious? Two of my pregnancy books do, and having suffered a miscarriage I find them upsetting. It isn't immediately obvious that they're dead, but it isn't possible to photograph a beautifully backlit foetus in the womb. Please correct me if I'm wrong here.

I think books of this sort should be very clear, open and honest about how expectant and new mothers might NOT feel towards their unborn or newborn child.

One thing that didn?t help my PND was reading how every new mother ?feels overwhelming love for her baby? the very second they were born. It would have been spectacularly helpful if somebody, somewhere had pointed out this isn?t always the case and that it doesn?t mean you?re pots for rags and need detaining under the Mental Health Act if you don?t bond with your baby at first sight.

I also think it?s wise to give clear reminders that the information in the book is given in the general sense and that no two pregnancies are the same. Readers shouldn?t worry that what?s written in there is Gospel.

Agree with all of the above, although I imagine that research changes and is updated so frequently that it is hard to put hard and fast statistics into a book.

I do not like being patronised either and I want sound, intelligent, well-researched facts with a large dose of common sense.

Agree with everyone who posted above that the key is not to be patronising - there is a huge gap in the market at the moment for a pregnancy book aimed at intelligent, well-educated women. I ended up buying a basic midwifery textbook in the end as all the pregnancy books were so ghastly. Proper statistics would be really helpful - not only a glossary of things that might go wrong, but the statistical risks (including age-adjusted risks where relevant). Plus a realistic indication about the level of food-related risk - there are a lot of books out there at the moment that would leave you wondering if there was anything at all left that you were allowed to eat if you were to take their advice seriously.

A lot of the stuff that pregnancy books do include could easily be left out - I don't need a book to tell me when to think about buying maternity clothes or what my emotional state might be (I know what my emotional state is, thanks, and I don't appreciate someone else presuming to know). I suspect a fair number of marital rows have been triggered over the years by men dismissing their partners' feelings because "it's the hormones": sometimes, funnily enough, it isn't the hormones, and the books aren't doing anyone any favours by suggesting that it is.

I also agree with the poster above who said that you shouldn't assume everyone is married and straight. That's especially true if you're going to include a basic outline of pregnancy-related employment rights (which I think is a good idea, but make sure it's up to date and check it with an employment lawyer if you're not one yourself).

I bought a midwifery textbook too for the very reasons Petsville said.

Ooh yes, and include actual DISCUSSIONS of what statistical risk actually means, not just x equals y stuff.

I actually disagree with the not assuming everyone is married... would be a good starting point IMO, as long as any legal info in differing situations is included too.

DorsetDormouse... for you about your MCs but photos have been done on a perfectly healthy foetus in pregnancy. The Telegraph website had them up a few weeks ago (v. famous ones with a black background).