How long before due day should I start maternity leave?

[ClaireVictoria]

Hi all. I am a secondary school teacher (design technology) so do quite a physical job. I am also a large bump babe due to 3 fibroids.

I have absolutely no idea how long before my due date that I should apply for maternity leave. Is three weeks a realistic option?

Needless to say this is my first baby!!
XCV

I think it's really hard to say when to start - do you have a long commute to work, can you sit down when you need to, can you stay sat in your classroom at breaks or do you have to walk to other places etc.

Are you going to have an overlap with your maternity cover, or will they not start until after you go ?

But I think 3 weeks, all else being well, is fine.

I think it depends on how you're feeling. I have a few large fibroids and I'm classed as old (42) and I started to feel breathless from about 22 weeks.

Iron tablets kept me going for a bit longer but now I'm glad I arranged for 8 weeks of leave (just started this week). I'm out of puff, seriously low in energy, having difficulty eating, sleep has deserted me and I'm already the size of a house.

If you feel good, no need not to carry on. I think you have to give your employer a date 15 weeks in advance if you can? And of course if you fall ill before it starts you can just take sick leave.

as the others said, it depends on how you are feeling, if you are particularly big or small, and your commute to work etc. I did an office job and went on ML at 36 weeks. I wished I'd gone earlier, the last few weeks at work were quite stressful trying to tie up all the loose ends etc, and I was the size of a house, not sleeping and very uncomfortable!

But I know people who worked right up to their due date and were fine.

I stopped yesterday at 37.5 weeks and have been utterly, utterly exhausted for the last couple of weeks. I have an office job but sitting is/was a killer because I'm small and a growing baby is causing havoc with my ribs. Is there scope to take AL pre mat leave? (Technically, I am on AL for the next 2 weeks and then ML commences). My work were very flexible and said that we would aim to have me work until yesterday but if I needed to stop earlier then it wouldn't be a problem.

I stopped early at around 33 weeks and didn't regret it! I would say stop as early as you can afford. That time on your own before the birth is a lovely time and you won't get it again.

However, if all your friends work and you have no family nearby, then perhaps wait until a bit later. You will need to be able to visit people and have visitors or you will get bored/lonely.

depends how you are feeling... i am going to work up to 39 weeks (3rd pregnancy) easier being at work than looking after kids at home and anyway i only work 3 days a week.

in my first pregnancy i went to 37 weeks BUT took 5 wednesdays off from 32-37 weeks to get stuff done and catch up on sleep which for me was better than starting leave a week earlier but if you are teacher this might not be possible.

I am a secondary school teacher too - it's a very stressful environment where you're on your feet most if not all of the day, often talking/shouting, and can't take breaks when you like...
Anyway somewhat naively I thought I'd be ok to last until Feb half term (38 weeks), people looked at me like I was mad...so I changed it to today (36 weeks)...in the end, I had to finish 2 weeks ago. I physically couldn't do a full day's teaching, I was out of breath, needed the toilet every half an hour (impossible during lessons) and mentally, just wasn't really 'with it' - things I'd normally cope easily with, eg. writing reports, emails, planning, I was just getting wrong...my brain turned to mush!

I'd had a fairly tough pregnancy though with lots of sickness and anemia. I would advise you to speak to anyone who works at your school who has had a baby, ask them how they found it (your school might be an oasis of academia and quiet corridors, mine certainly isn't!)and decide based on how YOU'RE feeling. Put your baby first. I thought I was letting everyone down having to finish early...teaching is a fairly guilt-ridden job, but you know what, the place carries on without you - kids get taught...my replacement started on Monday and I know she will be doing a great job, much better than I could have done at this stage (in fact, hope the kids don't like her too much??!!)

My goodness streshederic what a sensible post.
I'm secondary teacher too and currently 32.5 weeks with DC2. I stop 3 weeks today and it can't come quick enough.
I stopped at 37 weeks last time but was off for a from 28-34 weeks with summer hols which made it much easier.
Remember if it becomes too much and you have to stop earlier, they'll cope.

I went at 29 weeks, the earliest you can go due to my SPD, I was finding that I couldn't walk and my job is quite emotional (I work in a crematorium) I found it hard to deal with looking at coffins and was crying too much so had to give it up, am so glad I have cause have been able to sort loads of stuff out including founding a new flat and sorting that out. Anyway have been on ML for 2 weeks now and loving it

I'm stopping at 31 wks. I have a very physical job and was going to hang on longer, mainly because people make comments about laziness. But when i thought about it i realised i shouldn't have to go on getting up at half 4 in the morning, climbing ladders and lifting heavy things if i felt it wasn't right.

So now i just think "stuff them" to anybody who thinks i'm lazy or going to be a bad mother because i have to go back to work a wee bit sooner after the baby arrives. I just want a healthy pregnancy and baby and my work enviroment defo didn't help that!

I think its just best to do what is right for you, and try not to think about what other people have done or what people think!

Just a note here to say that one thing to consider is what happens if you go to 42 weeks - I worked up until my due date last time and dsepite feeling AWFUL I was glad I did in the end. DD arrived at 42 + 2 and I would have gone absolutely nuts sitting at home for 5 weeks had I stopped at 37 weeks! But again, it does depend on demands on you physically. If it's just too hard, you should have no guilt at all about stopping.

Roary your right..i think i'm going to go mental with boredness. But as my mum said, its the last chance i'll get to be bored in a long time.
Also i'm lucky because my dp works from home and mainly at nights so i won't have to worry about childcare when i do go back to work. If i did i reckon i would stay on at work longer.

It depends on so many things

One thing to remember though is that the final weeks of pregnancy are the slowest of your entire life - I worked through so I didn't go INSANE worrying about every tiny thing (but I didn't have a very physical job)

I had 5 weeks off before DD and it was bliss! Wasn't bored at all! It'll be the last free time you'll get for about 18 years so make the most of it. Sleep whenever you feel like it (it was lovely to sleep in a pattern which suited me rather than be constrained by work etc.) read the newspaper, books etc.

It might be worth setting your maternity leave but seeing if you can allow yourself some annual leave to tack on before hand should you get really fed up. Might be more difficult with your job though.

In the end, if you are completely wiped and haven't allowed enough time they might let you go off earlier than you plan, there is no point in running yourself ragged and not doing a very good job, they might just send you off early.

Roary, the OP could equally well be two weeks early of course

I took 4 weeks before both of mine and for me that was perfect. Before ds1 it was great to have some time to myself. It might be a while before you can do things like go to the cinema, have an unhurried lunch with friends or just lounge about reading Grazia - make the most of it!

Word of warning-ds turned up 3 weeks early despite being my first! I was very glad I finished my v physical job at 32 weeks, as I was v anaemic and knackered!
I would plan to take a few weeks to get sorted as you'll never have that time to yourself again!

I went at 36 weeks and so glad I did... those last few weeks are really knackering.

Make sure you go to the cinema/eat out etc etc as much as possible. Everyone told me to do that and I didn't really take it on board and wish I had...

Congratulations by the way its the best thing ever and I can't wait to do it again (DS is 9 months and doesn't sleep and I'm still saying that so it must be good)

I have a giant fibroid too - mine grew to 22cm during my first pregnancy - and my boss made me take my annual leave before maternity leave.

I think I stopped 5 weeks before my due date, but my maternity leave didn't technically kick in until 9 days before he was born.

We had builders in while I was on leave which ruined it a bit for me, but I also had a SIL in the next street with her 9mo baby and it was June, so I had plenty to keep me occupied.

I really enjoyed that time, and am already looking forward to this time round which will be a similar time of year. I'm bookmarking baby clothes patterns I'm hoping to make while DS is in childcare

I normally work as a pilot, but obviously was grounded when pregnant, and went to work in the simulators. I took the advice of other pilot mums (there are plenty of us out there!) and worked until I was 39 weeks. I managed to do a bit more admin work from home for the last 6 or 7 weeks, but right at the very end I went back into the sims a bit more because I got a weird perverted pleasure out of seeing the male pilots gasp with horror when I turned up to take them for their session. One asked 'is it safe?' and I replied that I only had a week to go and the midwife said bouncing down the stairs on your bottom can set things in motion so I imagine a few good hard landings will be just what I need. You've never felt such smooth landings .

I felt it was more important to have time off after my baby was born as when I returned to work I had to go full time with trips away from home for up to 5 days for a while before I got my part time. This time round I am going to see what ground job they have for me. If I hate it I may start my ML earlier, but would prefer to push it as long as possible.

I am a SENCO at secondary school and planned to stop day before 38.Finished with dd1 at 36 and she was late and got bit bored, However, felt v tired this time and got signed off at 36+4 by midwife and I have to say much more energised now resting at home and had not q appreciated just how tired work was making me feel.Feel much more prepared for delivery now.

I went on ML at 30 weeks and was very happy to do so (and I was in an office job, albeit an hour's commute at each end, not that the driving was a problem for me). I was extremely tired and also had no ability to concentrate by the time I went. Had I stayed until 35 weeks plus I'm sure I would have been very stressed and tired.

I don't understand this "I'd be bored at home" - I slept, read, had lunch with friends and generally prepared myself mentally and physically for what lay ahead (as far as that is possible, which it isn't, very!) and if I had only been off work for a week before going into labour, I think I would have found my 72 labour very stressful indeed.

"I normally work as a pilot, but obviously was grounded when pregnant, and went to work in the simulators."

Is this the coolest post ever, or what?!

the sent me home at 39 weeks as our md was frightened I'd have the baby in one of the offices
I was 41+5 going into labour so still had plenty of time

Reading all your posts makes me realise I am already a bad mum,I had kind of decided to take my leave in time to be at home to watch Wimbledon .

P

I went a month before due date and went slightly nuts not knowing what to do with myself