Tell me positive birth experiences. Please!

[Two4One]

I am due fairly soon... next week, officially. And starting to feel very uneasy about it all. The last 4 births I'm aware of (3 from my NCT class and my sister before that) were all quite dramatic ones involving either early delivery, ventouse intervention, hospital stays, emergency sections or vast amounts of stitches. I'm starting to wonder if it's possible to have a normal, straight-forward first birth at all.

I know I have to be prepared for anything. I know it doesn't matter how they come out so long as the're ok. I know I won't care afterwards.

But please, please can anyone offer me any glimmer of hope at all that it is actually possible to have an unremarkable birth?

I had a normal(ish) first birth

we were booked for a home waterbirth, but when the waters went there was meconium, so we transferred to hospital (no major panic, in our car, no ambulance, only 10 mins away). dd1 was born less than 3 hours later after lots of lovely gas and air no problems due to the meconium, it was probably there as she was 11 days overdue rather than in distress

that was the most complicated of all my four births!

I found when pregnant people either gave you a 'four day nightmare story involving drugs, lots of bodily fluids and stitches' or the 'small cough and out it popped' version

top tips are to be flexible with your birth plan and to try and go with teh flow - less panic more calm

good luck I'm sure you'll be fine

of course it is possible

DS was back to back but i delivered him after an admittedly long labour with gas and air & pethidine

he didn't turn but i pushed him out (took around an hour)

all fine - i did tear but recovered well

was utterly euphoric afterwards

DD, my DC2, was FABULOUS! 7 hours in labour - water birth with gas and air ... no tears

you are right to be prepared for all eventualities, but lots of women have really good births

It certainly is! My labour with DS was about 14 hours all told, so quite tiring, but I did it all with TENS and gas+air. The only untoward thing that happened was that he didn't get into the right position for a while, so I had a knackering few hours of trying to encourage him, but eventually out he popped all purple and perfect. I needed stitches, but nothing too serious. I spent one night in hospital and one at the birth centre mainly for help with breastfeeding/the reassurance of experienced people around, both of which were in ample supply.

Of the other women in my NCT group:

one had early section for health reasons (hers)
three had unremarkable hospital births and were quickly home
one had ventouse in hospital, again quickly home
one had a natural waterbirth in hospital, quickly home.

We were all first timers.

It is good to be prepared for anything, but don't go into it assuming the worst. Good luck!

My first was in hospital. I had an angel of a midwife who stayed on after her shift to see dd born. Her colleagues told me she'd been having a hrd time and i'd cheered her up with a nice Birth. Went in around 6 and dd was born about two hours later.
DD2 was in hospital, text book, no problems. Midwife wasn't going to examine me when i knew baby was coming as she said she'd not long examined me, when she did listen to me she looked and said ,'oh are you ready to push?'. BE CONFIDENT of your feelings.
DS was a planned homebirth. Took the longest but still only a few hours. They 'did' run out of gas and air bit looking back it was rather funny in an 'Only fools and horses' type way
I have been lucky i know, have faith, it might all go like a dream +
I agree with others, have a set Birthplan, be sure of what you want but be aware, you might have to do things slightly differently on the day. Good luck.

Best day of my life ever, can't wait to do it again (15 weeks pg atm). Was totally calm and felt in control throughout, had G+A and pethidine, birth was pretty textbook, did stay in hospital for 24hours due to melicolum (sp?) in waters, but waters broke really late, at transistion, so prob explains it rather than distress.

I know at least 2 other women who loved giving birth. I'm not sure about others but I feel I don't want to talk about my birth in front of people who had not as good experiences because I don't want to seem to be boasting or anything. I think you are more likely to hear the horror stories than the good experiences.

I had a fairly simple birthplan, basically pain relief if I need it, cord to pulsate, babs to be handed straight to me, injection of whatever it is to get placenta out. I think that going into it with a go with the flow attitude is best. Good luck

I've had 3 great experiences, with fairly easy (albeit painful) deliveries. They all went so quickly that there was no time for pain relief, but I also didn't feel that I needed it. In fact, after DC3 was born, I said, "That was brilliant!" and my mw said I'd made her year! My mother's experiences were much the same, so perhaps I have a good birthing gene? I also found reading about hypnobirthing helpful, though I didn't end up trying it--not enough time.

Although my DS decided to arrive at 35 weeks, so my MLU waterbirth turned into a CLU birth on a bed with monitoring, it was honestly fine.

DS was back to back, but the whole thing was less than 12 hours, I just had gas and air, no tearing or anything like that, and it really wasn't that bad at all

my birth of DC2 was so amazingly inspiringly wonderful, she was a totally straightforward VBAC ( I had a section with DC1) , i was on such a high, i decided to train as a doula based on how empowered and thrilled i was afterwards and wanted to help other woemn achieve that

the key is : be prepared for the unexpected

educate yourself about all possibilities, so it is not a terrible shock if you do have to have a ventouse/c section

your mantra should be active, upright and mobile, for as long as you can

if you do need to sit, or you are tired, lay on your left side, or use a birth ball, laying on your back is counterproductive

even fi you need constant monitoring, you should be able to stay upright and moving, lean on teh bed or sit on a birth ball,

make sure you wee regularly to give the baby room to descend

don't be afraid to ask questions

i find that in a birthing room, be it home or hospital, drawing curtains, dimming lights, talking in a whisper, makes things more relaxed and less clinical

dd was 10 days late, but i went into hospital at 6 am and she was born at 8.50am, i could have come home at lunchtime if i'd wanted to. dd was first baby, i had a few stitches, nothing terrible, had pethidine that mad me feel a bit strange that was the worst bit really - good luck!

It's totally possible.
My last one- contractions started very early in the morning, had a bath and a walk during the day, very regular but not too painful at all, in the evening every 5 minutes, I decided I didn't want to go to the hosptal yet and insisted we play Scrabble- beat DP. At hospital at 8pm, lovely epidural at around 9.30, DD born at 11.35. She was 9 pounds 6 ounces, so I did tear, but healed well.
Hope you have a lovely birth.

mine was fairly straight forward.....arrived on due date, gas & air used only, 16hrs total but active 2nd phase only 30mins. It is painful, but you just deal with it at the time. Did tear but apart from being a little uncomfortable for a few days, didn't cause major issues.
Am grateful for straightforward 1st birth as 2nd time around I am able to use the hospital birthing centre, which is much nicer surroundings that the delivery ward.
good luck.

When dd was born, it was as far from natural childbirth as you could get, but it was totally fine. I had a healthy, beautiful daughter and as they say it is one day in your life. I hate doctors/hospitals pathologically but even I coped with it all.

It is totally natural to worry about this, but you will be fine, honest, whatever happens. My advice, go with the flow. Don't be afraid to ask for pain relief if you want it.

Do they still have those MW programmes on Living? I used to wake up early in the last month or so, and watched hundreds of them. I cried everytime a baby was born. But they showed the full range of births. It did make me less scared.

Both my deliveries were ok. I wouldn't say I enjoyed either of them but would go through it all again for the end result!

With ds1 I had a show at 1pm, no contractions, went into hospital to be checked at 4pm was 5cm dilated already, waters broke at 6pm and contractions started, he was born at 8.55pm. Just gas and air, really hurt but was over quickly. Lots of stitches which was the worst bit.

Ds2 was 15 days late and induced so was a longer experience and I needed to have my waters broken because the midwives got jumpy about how overdue he was. However, my contractions started at 8am and he was born at 2.45pm then I insisted on going home the same day so was tucked up in my own bed by 9.30pm. Just gas and air again and he was 9lb 12oz! Biggest downside to this one was being constantly monitored but I refused to lie down for this and spent much of the labour standing next to the bed.

I agree with the other posts; know what you want but be prepared to be flexible. Ask questions as you go along and stay as mobile as possible. Not many births are perfect but not many are horrendous either. Good luck.

DS's birth (DC2) was perfect in every way!!!

COntractions started on Sunday afternoon whilst walking on Hampstead Heath... didn't hurry back as they were not that uncomfortable!

Laboured at home from late afternoon.... just got on with stuff between contractions... watched TV, made dinner, had a bath etc.

By 9.30pm I'd had a show and my DH was fed up and bored... and slightly concerned he was going to be up all night(!!!)... so we called the hospital and they said ok to come in as they were empty....

Only had one contraction on way (15 mins drive). Got there midwife took temp/ blood pressure/listened to heartrate with doppler, (no internal) and then left us on our own saying still early on come and get them if anything changed.....

Within 15 mins she was back in room as my waters had gone and was having a contraction every 3 mins! Had tens machine and also used gas and air. But it was very manageable... I was fine, totally calm state.

Then before I knew it they were filling up the birthpool - and by around 11.30pm was read to get in (still no internal).... Contractions stopped completely for around 15 mins... I was very calm and relaxed (music/aromatherapy/lights dimmed etc!) and then started again and I pushed him out (pain relief other than water and TBH I didn't need it).

I was telling midwife how much more to go as she couldn't see a thing! (Ie I can touch his head, around half a finger... now crowning!!!!)

Picked him out of pool, he was lovely and pink and we watched him take his first breath!

No tears. Born within 2 hours of getting to hospital. All in all perfect!

Two good births here, as in uneventful. I don't think my body would agree as it was pretty painful, but no stress, no interventions, some stitches (never fun, but the high of having a baby overshadows it), its definitely possible/likely. I have loads and loads of friends who've had 'unremarkable' births, hospital and home, it feels the norm, rather than the stressful ones.

Get gas and air early, its more fun - I think you deserve a bit of high after a sober 9 mths! Not exactly pain relief but gave me a giggle. With DC2 I didn't get it early enough and it was disappointment.

Good luck, I'm quite jealous, would definitely do the birth again, I'm just not sure about the baby bit!

Contractions started day before due date, gave birth at 40+3, gas and air, at home with DH and 2 midwives, to a beautiful healthy baby girl. No stiches, no damage at all actually.

But it was knackering.

Lots of my friends have had lovely, (some brief), spontaneous, uncomplicated natural deliveries.

But I would also like to say that even with interventions it is possible to feel very positive about your birth experience. I had an emergency C/S with DS at the pushing stage for brow (well chin actually) presentation. I'd really been quite enjoying my labour up to that point. The C/S was 8am in the morning, the sun had come up, I could hear birds singing outside as went into theatre, the staff were new on shift, breezy and relaxed, the C/S lasted 20 mins with DS going straight to DH for skin to skin, bf in recovery, home 2 days later, all very happy.

I had a textbook birth with ds.

It was still bloody hard going and nothing really prepared me for it, nor could it, but it was okay.

I am pg again and I am not looking forward to it, but I know it is survivable.

Waters broke in bed at midnight, contractions started and went on through the night. I was alone and wanted to be. Left for hospital at 5am, got examined, 8cm. Bloody, bloody sore, but gas and air was wonderful. Tried some morphine but had bad reaction.

Second stage was okay, I was just knackered really. I needed a few stitches but barely noticed thanks to gas and air.

Getting the placenta out was a bit tricky mainly as I refused to push ont he grounds that I had HAD my baby!

1st Birth- Waters broke at about 845pm, went into hospital and was examined and was already 5cms, took me to a delivery room and had my first contraction. Had some lovely gas and air and by midnight I felt like pushing 1213am DS was born weighing 9lb 13oz. Great experience

2nd Birth- (Twins) after being told my whole pregnancy that I would probably have them early and by c section I was pretty suprised to be at 37 weeks and begging the consultant to induce me
So they broke my first lot of waters and we waited, a couple of hours later and nothing had happened so they started me on a drip and it wasnt until it was as high as it could go that I finally got a contraction lol
34 minutes and plenty of lovely gas and air later dd made her way safely into the world followed 13 minutes later by ds2 who came out feet first but no worse for it

Another really positive experience (even the consultant who had me penciled in for a csection admitted she was impressed lol)

I have enjoyed giving birth (and being pregnant) so much that I am looking into becoming a surrogate

Good luck and dont worry about it, just go with the flow and enjoy the gas and air

sorry re-read and saw you were talking about first births.... DDs birth was slightly longer/more painful than DS's but really ok for a first birth.

Laboured at home midnight until 7am, went to hospital to find wasn't actually dilated at all but while doing internal exam midwife broken waters by mistake which turned out to be a good thing as less than 3 hours later (spent in bath with gas and air)was fully dilated.

Did push for quite a bit (45 mins) but then DD was getting distressed so they said need to call Drs... and I said ok but give me three more contractions pushed as hard as i could and she landed on floor!

ended up with some stitched because of totally non controlled way in which she was born but really it was fine.

So arrived at hospital 7am not dilated at all she was born at 1pm.

I had a brilliant birth experience. Pretty much everything was as I had planned, and it was all straightforward.

I started getting period-type cramps that woke me up at 4am. Couldn't sleep so lay on the sofa watching sunday morning tv! By 10am I was pretty sure this was it, contractions were still bearable but getting regular. Spent most of the day in the bath! Finally went to birth centre at 4pm only to be sent home as I was only 3cm dilated . Went home and got back in the bath til I really couldn't wait any longer. I'd say that 2nd bit at home was the worst part as I felt like I didn't really know what was happening and whether I should go back yet or not.

Finally got back to the birth centre at 10pm - I was 6cm dilated so got straight in the birthing pool and got on the gas and air - from then on I was in cloud cuckoo land and the pain was totally manageable. Only complication was meconium in my waters so I had to get out of the pool for the pushing stage. DD was born at 1.30 am and was perfect. I did have a 2nd degree tear but the stitches were fine, they used a local anaesthetic and I didn't feel anything.

Best tips - do lots of leaning forwards etc to get your baby in a good position as that will make things go more smoothly. And use a birthing pool if you can, it's amazing how much it helps. And don't be scared of giving birth! Your body knows what to do, just go with it and believe in yourself.

If you want to see some 'straightforward' births check this out www.mybirth.tv/

It's quite heavy on home-water births, I guess not many other people film their births! But at least it can give you an idea of what an 'easy' birth is like.

Both of mine were easy-peasy! But you'll find people don't talk about the easy ones so much. If people have issues and interventions they seem to need to talk about it and 'debrief'.

I say easy - they didn't feel like it at the time. DD was quite frightening cause it was so unlike anything they tell you at the classes. (looking back I think she was back to back so no break between contractions, just constant pain.) Start to finish was 7 hours. But 'start' was a bit of backache which I thought was from lying awkwardly watching TV. No drugs or intervention.

DS was about 4 hours and my first regular contractions were about 7 mins apart but I could only feel them by touching my bump IYSWIM. They didn't hurt. Then I made DDs dinner and put her to bed, then went to hospital and this time just had gas and air.

Pushed for about 4 minutes with both.

You'll be fine

I suppose the long term view is this:

I have 3 children. One was OP, they were 9lb12, 9lb3 and 7lb15 (early).

They are now 10, 8, 6. I have a great sex life and don't pee when I sneeze!

Birth is just a day (or 2 or 3). The rest of life is more important (though I know it doesn't seem like that now!)

My first birth probably wasn't the sort you'd read about as an ideal natural birth, a stay in hospital before the birth for an early induction. Lots of pain relief of all varieties from G&A to epidural.

But it was a fantastic, overwhelming, empowering experience and one I wouldn't have changed at all. I'd prepared before hand as much as possible - so I understood what was happening and the implications of the decisions I made. I wrote my birth plan to reflect the reality of my situation and tried to include achievable objectives - so I'd have things I could feel positive about even if things didn't go as I hoped (and, bless them, the MWs followed my plan to the letter).

And, of course, I gave birth to my wonderful DD - so that had to be a good day didn't it?

Good luck, you'll do great.

God Squeezy just clicked that link - 'Claire's story' was not comfortable viewing! Couldn't believe the length of time the head was out and body still in! I birthed leaning over a ball with the gory end bit out of view - shall aim for that position again next time.