35 weeks and starting to get very scared

[jellybean86]

Its just hit me, im having a baby in 5 weeks. I am absolutely s**ting myself.

Im going to be a single mum at 23 and im petrified. Of the birth, feeling like im going to be out of control, the pain, after the birth, the bleeding, how much im going to see the dad. Im shaking and crying my eyes out, how sad! :-(

Baby wakes up at 11pm every night and stays awake for hours, and in the day she is so quiet. Im going to have to do it on my own and im worried i wont be able to.

Anyone else feeling like this, or am i being stupid?
x

YOU ARE NOT STUPID! It's a big deal sweetheart, having a baby on your own.

Sometimes babies when born they do have day/ night confusion but over the weeks they adjust by trying to keep them in bright rooms in the day and things like that.

You can come on mumsnet for advice anytime you need to. There's good books out there to use as well. I personally wouldn't recommend Gina Ford for you, it may get you stressed to begin with by reading that. I used Rachel Waddilove, the baby book but people also like the Baby Whisperer.

Homestart maybe able to help you to begin with. Do you have a relative who can stay with you for the first week as well?

Start planning, do you have a friend to be with you in labour? Or enough money for a doula? Perhaps once things are more planned you'll feel slightly more at peace?

Sending you a big virtual hug x

Also the pain relief options are very good once in labour. Have you done your NHS anternatal class yet? That may also help you to feel a bit better.

But nerves are perfectly normal sweetie x

thanks teaandcake

i have an antenatal class next weekened which im looking forward too.

im back living with my parents, and althought they have been great, i still feel a burden and somewhat ashamed and embarrassed im going it alone. i know i shouldnt be but i just always thought me and him would be together forever, blah blah blah, and im finding the adjustment difficult.

my best friend is going to be with me during labour, and my mum says she will be if i want but deep down the only person i want with me is my ex. he is the only person in the world who i truely feel comfortable with, i dont care what i look like, what he sees and he is the only one who can calm me down. he is strong and i know he will look after me, buts its a mess cos were always arguing cos im bitter of the spilt, dont trust him much anymore and im not convinced he will change, even thought he is always saying sorry and wants me back. i love my best m8 to bits, but its just different. i sound an right plonker!!!

ill have a look at them books and see what i think.

sorry for the rant, just need to get things off my chest. thankyou x

Hugs to you Jelly bean.

As already said, it is very natural to panic in your situation. Please don't worry about the labour. Don't listen to all the bad stories. People are very good at highlighting the worst of everything. What they do not say is the good stories, or that as soon as you hold your precious baby anything that ahs happened leading to that is totally wiped out! It is worth every puff and pant, believe me!
It is so good that your parents are being supportive and I am sure your mum will continue to be there for you after the birth.

Come on here and rant and get advise when you need it. You are in a difficult position, but you will get throuhg this and you can feel proud of yourself for being a strong person. This will make you stronger. I hope you have a relaxing last few weeks of labour.
HAve you any friends who are also pregnant? If not, see if you can hook up with someone so you don't feel so alone. I am sure others are in your situation. Ask your midwife or, when you meet her your health visitor, she will be able to help you and make some contacts for you.

Hi, jellybean86 I understand a bit about where you're coming from.

I'm due in 5 weeks too, and starting to get scared..... I'm excited too, but also scared! Also, I'm 25, around the same age as you.

All the way through the pregnancy I've been thinking about my growing belly, buying cute baby clothes and having people fuss over me. Now I've suddenly realised that I actually have to push this thing out of me!!!! And that it's going to hurt!

You, me and hundreds of other women across the UK will all be going through this all at the same time - try to think of that; it might help you to not feel so alone.

Where do you live? It's good that you're on mumsnet, and going to your antenatal classes to learn about all the issues that could come up. I've found both these things very helpful and a comfort to me. I'm the only one in my group of friends who is pregnant, can be quite lonely at times.

Sorry to hear you're sad about being a single mum, but I think it's a positive aspect that you are thinking about these things in advance, as it shows that you will try hard to be the best mummy you can be. You do have support, so please just focus on that and who knows what'll happen with you and your ex in the future. Or, there may be someone even better around the corner....

Keep positive!