Really upset and angry

[MadameG]

Need to rant!

Yesterday me and hubby went to the drs as we had several BFPs. The dr gave us a form to take round to the x-ray dept and sort a dating scan for a few week's time.

We went round there and the woman on the desk said no no no, the dating scan needs to be asap and not in a few weeks (despite me protesting that I'm only 6 weeks gone) so she made us an appointment for today.

We had to get a taxi to the place, its in the middle of nowhere. When we got there, we were told that they couldn't see anything and that we came way too early. I left feeling really frightened about what's going to happen with my pregnancy, deflated and upset. Oh and to add insult to injury, the total cost of return taxis was £42.

I'm trying to get through to compain about the reception woman but can't yet. Absolutely fuming.

Plus, I feel like I have no idea what's going to happen with my pregnancy now. The ultrasound woman said that the pregnancy can't be confirmed as viable as it's too early.

I just feel absolutely crushed.

What a terrible thing to happen - a total waste of your time. How bizarre that she made you book in straight away, the first scan is usually 12 weeks in most areas.
You shouldn't worry though, you are just a normal pregnant lady - congratulations. A bfp is a bfp. It doesn't mean anything that they couldn't confirm it for you as it is absolutely too early.

Go and eat some chocolate and complain to the docs / hosp if you think it worthwhile. Make sure you get that 12 week date in though to look forward to.

How are you feeling?

I really feel like stomping down there and punching her!!!

I just felt so crushed, going in there and being sent away with not being able to see anything. The ultrasound woman was very cold as well, I asked if I need to worry and she just turned to me and said 'a pregnancy can't be confirmed as viable until the scan'.

So that's that.

If its any consolation, i had a dating scan which turned out to be at just over 9 weeks and the scan picture i have basically shows the tiniest little bean shaped thing ever, i think if i'd have had it any earlier they wouldnt have seen anything either! Also, being 6 weeks doesnt it mean your baby is even less than that so it will be soooo tiny!
Definitely no need to worry at all!

The scan lady sounds like she doesn't have good people skills either. Didn't they check your dates before doing the scan? They should have done this and then explained that it needed to be rescheduled - although of course still a wasted journey.

Definitely call and complain. BUt also rise above - it doesn't make you any less pregnant!

congratulations

the first scan is normally at 12 weeks and is called a nuchal fold scan

there is loads of information on the 'Net

also you can get books out of the library

it helps to arm yourself with as much information as possible so things like this happen

also is a taxi the only way you can get to your hospital?

hopefully all your other appointments with the midwife will be at a gp surgery otherwise it is going to bankrupt you!

Yeah I wasn't expecting to see anything except a seed, I just felt so cross and like such a twit going down there. Didn't help that the ultrasound woman was a bit brisk and unfeeling.

Hope I can chill a bit this afternoon. Have sent hubby off to the shop to buy me a pasta dinner to cheer myself up with.

It was a dating scan rather than the normal 12 week scan, but even a dating scan shouldn't have been done earlier than 8 weeks.

I have phoned and complained and the manager lady was very nice, she's going to investigate and call me back.

We had to get a taxi because I'm learning to drive and haven't passed yet. Would have got a bus but this unit is in the middle of nowhere!

The ultrasound woman didn't help matters by being so brisk. She literally just said 'the pregnancy can't be confirmed as viable yet, you shouldn't have been sent down so early'. So then when I asked if I need to worry she repeated herself again and told me what to do if I start to bleed. Thanks a lot.

Probably, yes. She could have at least been helpful with her words though. She was rather brisk.

Feel really down now, really bummed out and finding it hard to relax and have that feel-good feeling I had yesterday.

I hate it when they aren't just nice to you when they could be. When you're pg and worried it makes all the difference in the world if they are smiley and empathetic. I've had this recently while trying to arrange an elective CS which I have been told I should have. But the woman I have to talk to is just cold and unfeeling. I'm anxious, and it's not helping. But I just try to tell myself anyone can have a shitty day or be in a bad mood.

The mix-up you had was really crap though and I would complain about that - it cost you loads of money! I would go and ask to see whoever's in charge and explain it to them. I would at least want an apology.

I did get an apology in the end, and have managed to calm down a bit now. What a farce though! I really know what you mean about cold and unfeeling nurses or drs, I know they get desensitised but they really shouldn't- sometimes a kind word is really helpful to a patient.

MadameG, that's so frustrating - I'm glad you got an apology.

Just a quick point - the 12 week scan is not automatically a nuchal fold scan. It varies from area to area, but some PCTs don't offer a nuchal fold scan at all - it's go private or nothing.

I'm sure you know this anyway. I think people get confused because the nuchal fold scan is generally done at 12 weeks, and has to be done in between 11 and 13 and a half weeks - v specific time window. I know a lady who turned up for her 12 week NHS scan thinking it was a nuchal, and it wasn't. She then had a bit of an anxious time trying to sort a private scan at short notice. Your midwife will be able to tell you what the norm is for your area when you first see her.

I hope the rest of your pregnancy and dealings with NHS go a lot more smoothly!

Thanks Barkfox. So confusing with all the different scans and stuff! Thanks for clarifying.

I understand your frustration. I've had nothing but disorganisation from NHS. Keep getting given wrong information by locum drs and temp midwifes. Was given wrong info about where to go for first scan and was given less than 24hrs notice for 20wk scan, and then when I turned up, was told I wasn't on the list! was meant to be at a midwife appt that no one told me about! plus at 20 weeks have only just receieved my prescription charge exempion thingy. I'm not feeling confident about my actual delivery!
Glad you got it all sorted out though! There's nothing worse than people wasting your time, particularly when you're anxious already!

Ugh, how dreadful for you. The dating scan (in all the cases I've known) is the same as the 12 week scan. I had a dreadful experience with early pains and an internal ultrasound and just being abruptly told "well, you're not pregnant" (I was, have 3 year old to prove it!) - such a shame, later met a midwife socially and she was able to identify exactly who I was talking about - apparently some are just like that - but as for the receptionist hope you feel calmer soon and the manager is able to make you feel better

What a bloody idiot!

I would complain to your doctor and via him, about this receptionist and the scan lady. The scan lady should never have booked you in and this receptionist clearly needs to brush up on "basics". How frustrating for you!